Chris Benoit & Rey Mysterio vs. Rhyno & Tajiri
Benoit & Tajiri start with a side headlock by Benoit. He whips Tajiri away and shoulderblocks him. Again, and the two criss-cross before Tajiri runs into Benoit�s chops. Benoit whips him to the other corner and has it reversed. Tajiri slaps on the Tarantula in the corner as Rey inadvertently runs enough interference for the referee not to count to 4. Dummy. Benoit is let go and runs into a spinebuster by Rhyno for 2. Benoit takes some abuse until he gets in a side suplex. lukewarm tag to Rey who hits a siddown splash on Rhyno. Rhyno charges and eats elbow, then falls victim to a standing 2nd rope moonsault (nice) for 2. Tajiri breaks the count and all 4 are in now. Rhyno goes for a powerbomb on Rey, but Rey flips out and ducks the Green Mist, which hits Rhyno instead. Oops. Benoit hits a 619-assisted German suplex on Tajiri. That was pretty stuff. Rey Drops the Dime on Rhyno�s back and covers for the 3. As Benoit and Rey leave, Tajiri eyes down Rey.
Winners: Chris Benoit & Rey Mysterio
Commercial
Handicap Match
Torrie Wilson & Nidia vs. Shaniqua
Last week, Shaniqua decimated anything with a pair of boobs (aside from herself, of course) until Torrie smacked her with a chair and everyone escaped with their lives.
Match starts with Torrie and Nidia jumping Shaniqua and sending her outside immediately. Now that�s a smart move; better safe than sorry. Both women follow Shaniqua and throw her back in. Torrie goes to the corner as Nidia works on Shaniqua with chops and an Irish whip, which is reversed into a powerslam by Shaniqua. Torrie in now, and knocked right back down. Torrie then saves Nidia from a powerbomb, only to get clotheslined down with Nidia. Shaniqua picks Torrie up and slams her onto Nidia. Owch! Shaniqua tosses Torrie out and jacks Nidia up for a proper powerbomb and the 3 count. Afterward, Dawn Marie is in to give Shaniqua what for, and eats a boot before getting tossed. She follows Dawn outside and rams her into the corner post.
Winner: Shaniqua
In the back, Vince, Sable and the Big Show enter Steph�s office to harass her. Vince is impressed she stood up to Brock last week instead of quitting. What, are you kidding? Stephy won�t quit and Vince can�t make her. Vince starts to say he can when Stephy injects a little LOGIC into to all of this with �Why don�t you just FIRE me, Dad?� Vince would rather see her quit of her own volition, and promises to �play rough�.
Commercial
Back to a video package of the first two meetings between Angle and Lesnar, and proof that this IronMan rubber match is going to rule the world.
We join Eddie and Chavito in the back for some stereotypical goodness. Eddie is proud of Chavo coming back and for securing the Tag Title Match. Chavito�s proud of Eddie potentially becoming a double champion.
Commercial
Back to the WrestleMania XIX Video Game rewind: last week�s Parking Lot Brawl and the return of Chavito.
Earlier today, Cena raps on the beach. Part of it gets bleeped out. Wonder if that was the John Ritter reference...like WWE�s ever been afraid of offending anybody...
WWE Tag Team Title
Los Guerreros vs. Haas & Benjamin
Los Gurreros arrive in a hideous looking lowrider.
Eddie and Benjamin start. Collar and elbow tie-up leads to a wrestling sequence on the mat. Benjamin finds himself in the Gurreros� corner as Eddie tags Chavito. Chavito chops and elbows Benjamin before another tag is made. THAT�S the way to do it � quick tags. Doubleteam elbow on Benjamin. Benjamin gets Eddie into his corner and brings in Haas, who kicks away at Eddie. Haas whips Eddie into the corner and keeps kicking away. Tag to Benjamin but Eddie slugs his way out of the corner and hits a belly-to-belly on Benjamin. Chavito gets tagged in so he can stomp on Haas in the corner. Chavito pops Haas a good one before the whip to the opposite corner is reversed. Haas armdrag into a monkeyflip reversal and tilt-a-whirl headscissors by Chavito. In a nice visual, Chavo hits the over-the-top plancha on Benjamin as Eddie hits one on the opposite side on Haas. Nice way to take us to a...
Commercial
Back to Eddie choking out Haas. Poke to the eye, followed by a whip and an elbow. Eddie tags in Chavito, who dropkicks Haas after a snap mare by Eddie. Benjamin breaks the ensuing 3 count. Haas clubs Chavito and tags in Benjamin, who pops Chavito one. Chavito kicks Benjamin away and tags Eddie. Once again, fast tags rock. Back suplex is reversed by Haas, cover for 2 broken by Chavito. Sunset flip by Eddie on Benjamin for 2 results in a mini-double KO. Tags are made to Chavito and Haas. Chavito whips Haas to the corner, but eats boot and THEN a mean superkick by Benjamin. Deeeamn! NOW the psychology is worked in as Haas hits an armbreaker on Chavito�s previously injured arm. Nice. Haas and Benjamin continue to swap in and out on shots to Chavito�s arm. Northern Lights by Haas gets 2, then the tag to Benjamin, who hammerlocks the arm, then stomps on it a couple of times just to be an ass. Tag to Haas and an underarm spin on Chavito. That�s beautiful. Chavito finally fights back but has his ankle snared by Haas as Benjamin pops Chavito one. Chavito tags in Eddie, but, of course, the ref doesn�t see it.
Chavito dropkicks his way out of trouble and finally tags in Eddie, who is a CASA EN FUEGO! (Thanks, Mr. Keith.) Haas gets a good German in on Eddie, though, and covers for 2. Benjamin and Hass cross signals, allowing Eddie to take both men over simultaneously � Benjamin by the arm, Haas y the head. Eddie gets caught up top by Benjamin, but that don�t faze him none as he shoves Benjamin back down and misses a rolling senton. Eddie is up on his feet, however, and sends Haas outside. Haas takes this opportunity to grab a couple of chairs. As the ref is restraining Haas, Benjamin swings at Eddie and misses, and gets the chair dropkicked into his knee (owww!), sending him outside. Benjamin looks legit hurt by that. Los Gurreros decide to worry about that later and bring Haas back in for a flapjack that folds the man in half...! Suplex by Chavito into a Frog Splash by Eddie for the 1... 2... 3...!!!
Winners: Los Guerreros -New WWE Tag Team Champions-
We once again hype the IronMan, this time with �Tazz�s Keys to Victory� for both Angle and Lesnar.
Commercial.
IronMan Match For The WWE Title
Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
The scorecard and clock appear in the top right of your screen as Brock opens fire on Kurt to start things off.
Kicks by Brock into a choke via foot in the corner. Whip to the corner by Brock, followed by a shoulderblock, more kicks, and another foot choke. Brock kicks him in the head and gives him some more shoulder roast. BIG beel throw out of the corner. Kurt tries a comeback, but takes knees for his troubles. Brock whips Kurt into another corner and eats elbow coming in. Angle tries a few shoulderblocks of his own, then grows a brain and dropkicks Brock�s leg, finally taking him down. Kurt goes for the leg, and Brock bails outside. Stalling follows, which is allowable when you have to go for an hour, I suppose. He still has to avoid a countout, though, which he does, then calls for a time out in the ring. Hah! You know better. And yeah he does � it was a ruse as Brock cheapshots Angle and kicks him some more in the corner.
A whip results in a reversal and three armdrags by Kurt, sending Brock outside. Brock grabs the steel steps to try and break the count, but the ref doesn�t fall for it. Brock breaks the count at 9, Angle approaches, and Brock bails out to stall some more.
Score is 0-0 @ 55:00. Brock re-enters, Angle goes for the leg and Brock bails AGAIN. Brock baits Angle into a necksnap off the top rope, and then enters to stomp on and choke out Angle. Whip by Brock gets turned into a belly-to-belly by Kurt. Angle then throws Brock outside and follows Brock to beat on him. Angle breaks the count and returns to the slugfest.
Brock gains the advantage by ramming Angle into the apron backfirst, then the same into the corner post. Brock tosses Angle back in, but doesn�t follow, instead opting to grab a chair. Brock gets back in with the chair and DRILLS Angle for the DQ. 1-0 @ 51:00. Cole questions Brock�s strategy like a dunce. Brock clubs, kicks, and taunts Angle some before proving my point with an F5 and a cover for 3. 1-1 @ 49:30.
Replay of the 1st 2 falls as Brock kicks away at Angle�s ribs and taunts him some more. Brock slaps an ANKLE LOCK on Angle (!!), who TAPS OUT (!!!). Holy crap! It�s 2-1 @ 47:45 as we go to:
Commercial.
Back to during the commercial break: Brock continues the �insult to injury� party with an Angle Slam on Angle for 2. Brock whips Angle to the corner and hits another shoulderblock. Beatdown in the corner plus kicks to the head. Brock whips Kurt into the other corner and Angle avoids the charge. Rights by Angle results in a whip and a reversal, but Angle sends Brock back down to the mat.
Angle hits 3 Rolling Germans on Brock (with some difficulty). Brock dumps Angle outside and follows to whip Angle into the barricade in the aisle. Brock breaks the count, then returns. Angle fires back, only to take an F5 outside! Brock returns to the ring as a small �Holy shit!� chant erupts. Angle is counted out. 3-1 @ 40:00 as we go to:
Commercial.
Back to during the commercial break: Angle regains the advantage with 2 overhead belly-to-belly suplexes on Brock. Angle is tossed outside and returns for more punishment.
Still 3-1 @ 35:00. 2 elbows by Brock results in a cover for 2. A right by Brock is followed by kicks in the corner. Angle makes the comeback and nails the Angle Slam for 3, putting us at 3-2 @ 34:00 left.
In the event of a tie, Cole informs us, UPN will allow an overtime period until there is a winner.
Angle�s turn to beat down Brock as a suplex gets 2. Stomps by Angle, followed by rights in the corner. Brock fires back with knees to the gut, but takes a German by Angle. Angle drops the straps, but the Angle Slam is countered into to a F5, which is countered into an Ankle Lock. Brock powers out and Angle almost bumps the ref. Brock finishes that job with a clothesline ducked by Angle. Angle Slam, but no ref to make the count for Angle.
Brock goes outside for some therapeutic timekeeper abuse and grabs the belt. Back in, Brock nails Angle with his own belt. In a moment of hilarity, Brock grabs the ref by his pants and tosses him beside Angle to revive him. Cover gets 3 as we stand at 4-2 @ 29:30 heading into:
Commercial.
Back to Angle dragging Brock outside. Angle lands a few rights and tosses Brock into the steps. Angle breaks the count, then pulls a Macho Man with a double axehandle to Brock off the apron. Back in and a cover by Angle gets 2. Angle goes up top for a purty missile dropkick that gets 2. Angle back up again, but the moonsault misses and Brock clotheslines him for a double KO. Brock is up just in time to walk into another overhead B2B suplex for 2. Brock goes for a B2B of his own, but Angle counters into the Ankle Lock. Brock rolls through and powers Angle to the outside in a nice counter. Brock follows and whips Angle into the steps. Kurt re-enters the ring as Brock goes for the opposite set of steps. Angle baseball slides the steps into Brock�s face (nice move). Angle brings Brock back inside for a 2 count. Angle with rights and kicks in the corner. A whip and another elbow gets 2 as we take our LAST break...
Commercial.
Back to during the commercial break: Brock gets an overhead B2B on Kurt from the top rope and a pin, bringing the score to 5-2. Both men are outside as Angle bounces Brock�s head off of the announce table. Brock returns the favor, then sets up Kurt for an F5 into the post. Angle drops out and does it to Brock instead, providing our poetic justice moment of the night. Angle breaks the ref�s count then stomps on Brock�s leg outside.
Back in and Angle gets a � crab on Brock. Brock reaches the ropes, then takes the Ankle lock instead. Brock makes the ropes again, then decides he�s had enough of this crap by shoving Angle away and hitting another F5. Brock, after a bit of stalling, finally covers � for 2.
Brock, now thoroughly frustrated, goes up top. DON�T TELL ME he�s going for the Shooting Star...! It�s a moot point as Angle bounds up the ropes and hits a top-rope overhead B2B of his own for a 3-count. 5-3 @ 9:45 left. Ohh, man...NOW we�re gonna get serious.
Double KO as the ref counts to 8 before both men make it to their feet. Slugfest won by Angle, who beats on Brock in the corner. A FAT USA chant starts up to drum up support for Angle as Angle snaps off a suplex then puts the straps back up...! The Angle Slam gets countered into a DDT for 2!
Rights by Angle get turned into a German by Brock. And another. 3, do I hear 3? I sure do. Both men are down again with 6:00 to go. Another German is countered by Angle into a victory roll into the Ankle Lock. Brock has nowhere to go and taps out. 5-4 @ 4:00!!!
Another Ankle Lock, but Brock powers out of this one. Angle slaps on a(n attempted) STF, but Brock elbows his way out of it. Brock ducks outside, but Angle follows to punish the leg. An Ankle lock ensues on the outside before Angle, probably cognizant of the time factor, rolls Brock back in, then out.
He bounces Brock of the steps, then brings him back in for real. Angle hits repeated Germans with under 1:00 to go. Brock grabs the ref and lowblows Angle. Angle gets the Ankle Lock on Brock, but Brock does NOT tap before time expires!!! Brock Lesnar is your winner and NEW WWE Champion, with a final score of 5-4. Show ends with Brock celebrating with the WWE Belt.
Winner: Brock Lesnar -New WWE Champion-
Credit: WrestlingAttitude.com