Ric Flair is standing in the ring with some dancing ladies. There is a large cake in the ring. Ric Flair gets on the mic and introduces us to the NINE time champion, Triple H! Triple H hits the ring all smiles as Evolution bows to him within the ring. Confetti and streamers fly as the champion walks around the ring in utter bliss!
The crowd boos like crazy as Ric Flair asks the girls to calm down. Flair says HHH needs to make a victory speech. HHH gets on the mic and says "you smell that? huh?" He asks Naitch if he feels it! He says the feeling is excitement in the air. HHH says he is back on top of the world because he is, for the ninth time, the world heavyweight champion! More boos! Triple H talks about how Orton spit in his face and he asks the crowd if they liked that. He says they were chanting "RKO," this obviously starts an RKO chant. HHH says they all laughed at him. But he says "he who laughs last, luaghs best!" And today he is laughing!
He says he is laughing last because last night he hocked up the nastiest, greenest, most disgusting clam and he spit it in all their faces! HHH aays that now it is time, time to party like a champion. The girls remove his clothing from his chest and the ladies surround him. HHH turns to the cake and says if these girls are hot, then the lady inside here must be HOT. Flair says it was Batista's idea. He says when this girl comes out of this cake and jumps on him they are welcome to join because this girl must be dying to play the game. Fireworks shoot from the cake and Randy Orton comes out and dives off the cake on top of Ric Flair and HHH. HHH is covered in cake as Orton takes care of Batista and Flair sending them to the outside! The then throws a few blows at HHH and throws him in the cake head first! HHH is stuck upside down in the cake as Orton leaves up the ramp!
During the break: HHH came out of the cake and flopped around the ring with icing all over his shoes. HHH flops around as the crowd laughs heavily!
Backstage HHH is doing his usual bitching to Eric Bischoff about being the champ and so on. He says he wants Orton tonight! Eric says he will do one better and give Orton to all of them as tonight it will be Randy Orton vs. Evolution 3 on 1!
Chris Benoit vs Rob Conway
Regal walks to the ring to stay in the corner of Benoit. Rob starts it off with clubbing blows followed by an irish whip that Benoit reverses and Rob goes down by the feety. Benoit follows up with chops and shoulder blocks to take control. Rob fires back but Benoit takes down Rob and tries the sharshooter. Rob escapes and leaves the ring quickly!
Back in the ring the two lock up again and Rob takes control with a vertical suplex followed by some stomping on Benoit's chest. Conway works Benoit in the corner until Benoit fights back with chops, but Rob is able to keep him down with clubbing blows to the back of the head.
Rob is still in control with a stalled neckbreaker into a neck wrench putting Benoit in a bad position. Benoit tries to fight back with help from the crowd but when he does get up he ducks a clothesline and Robert Conway throws him to the outside. On the outside the two have a chopfest until Rob throws Benoit back into the ring. Benoit gets a small package for two but isn't able to follow up with offense as Rob chokes him out. Rob slaps Benoit in the face and Benoit retaliates with one of his own. The two fight back and forth until Rob whips Benoit into the corner so hard that Benoit drops to the mat and Conway is back on the offense.
Rob tries to roll Benoit up but Grenier grabs his hand and the ref sees this and so does Regal who knocks Grenier out with a running knee. This allows Benoit to get some offense as he chops away on Rob before nailing three German suplexes. He then fakes the fourth and drops Rob Conway to the mat into the Crossface! Rob Conway taps and Benoit wins!
Winner: Chris Benoit
It�s announced that tonight, Chris Jericho�s guest for the Highlight Reel will be Shawn Michaels.
Also tonight, we�ll see the Seattle Slugfest between the final two divas in the RAW Diva competition.
Stacy comes to the ring as we get ready for the Seattle Slugfest between the WWE Divas! Stacy asks if the fans are ready to see these girls get it on and they are ready. Stacy says to bring out the Divas and Molly Holly comes out.. why? I don't know, read on...
She gets on the mic and says "sorry Stacy but I told the wanna-bees to stay in the back because I have something to say." Molly talks about how it's stupid how the girls are getting all the attention and they can have their little "slut" fest later tonight but right now she challenges Stacy to any content because she can beat her at anything. Stacy says they will have a dance contest. Molly asks them to play something classical like William Regal's music. They play it and she ballet dances around the ring like a jackass as the crowd boos heavily. Stacy says that it was very interesting. She asks if anyone has something she can dance to. "Brick House" starts playing and Stacy really struts her stuff and the crowd is LOVING it. Very nice stuff. Molly attacks Stacy but Nidia comes and helps her which allows Stacy to have her big foot choke. Nidia however is attacked by Gail Kim but then Victoria comes down to the ring and gives Gail a flapjack! Trish hits the ring and all hell breaks lose but Victoria gets the best of her and sends Trish outside the ring!
Bischoff gets on the Tron and says that if the ladies want a match they can have it. a 6 woman tag match and it starts... right now!
Victoria, Stacy, and Nidia vs. Trish, Gail Kim, and Molly Holly
Nidia and Trish are going at it when we come back from commercial and Trish is going for her top rope Hurricanranna but Nidia throws her off and hits a cross body block. Nidia comes off the ropes but is hit by Gail Kim. Nidia gives her a forearm but Nidia turns around into a Trish spinebuster.
Nidia is in trouble as Trish's team continues to work on her. Gail Kim places her in a wicked leg grape-vine and half crab and Nidia is in pain. The crowd gets behind her and she reaches the ropes to break the hold. Gail kicks her chest and then Molly Holly is tagged in. Gail and Molly go for a double team move but Nidia kicks Molly and gives Gail a spinning neckbreaker. Victoria is tagged in and her team gains control as Victoria cleans house. However Molly Holly runs in the ring and gives Victoria a back suplex.
Molly Holly does her cartwheel into the corner smashing Victoria but after she does Stacy tags herself in and runs behind Molly with a roll-up for the 3 count!
Winners: Stacy, Nidia, and Victoria
Kane shows up in Bischoff's office and he tells Eric that he was trying to sleep last night but he couldn't because his bitch wife ruined his match at the pay per view. Kane says he wants HBK TONIGHT. Eric says he can't do it tonight because HBK is on the highlight reel. Kane says that is not good enough and he chokes Eric by the collar to threaten him. Eric says he will give him someone tonight, no DQ to take his frustrations out on. Kane agrees!
Highlight Reel: Guest Shawn Michaels
Jericho hits the ring as our new IC champion to conduct the Highlight Reel! Jericho talks up his match last night at Unforgiven. He makes mention of the ladder going up his ass last night and some of the crowd laugh at it. (most probably didn't buy the PPV) Jericho talks himself up as the 7 time champion, which is a RECORD. He says last night was sweet and speaking of sweet, his guest tonight is someone who also won at Unforgiven and is the master of the Sweet Chin Music, Shawn Michaels!
HBK hits the ring to a great pop from the Seattle crowd. Jericho says it is great to have him back on the Highlight Reel and on Raw. He says it was also great to get the victory last night! HBK says let's review: 3 months ago Kane tried to end his carrer but last night in the no DQ match he beat Kane uglier!
Chris Jericho says that it was very exciting but not as exciting as his record breaking 7th IC title win. HBK says that he is right but that is why he came out here. He says the two have went at it many times and have torn the roof off the place, but they never really finished it. He says tonight, just imagine it; HBK and Y2J for the IC Title in Seattle. Jericho likes it and he takes his shirt off but Christian's music hits and he comes to speak. Christian tells a story of a man who started out as a tag team specialist but then went on to win a great ladder match and his ego grew a bit and then he became a GREAT superstar. He says he isn't talking about the story of HBK but he is talking about the chronicles of Christian. HBK says that Christian can have his title shot but only if he goes through him first. Jericho tells HBK to calm down and he talks outside to the fans with the mic. He walks and speaks on behalf of fans pointing them out one by one, classic stuff. He says that they all know that HBK will beat Christian's ass and then Tyson will interfere on Christian's behalf. He goes to two little kids and says that these two have a great idea. 4 men in one match, HBK and Y2J vs. Christian and Goat boy! Tyson speaks on behalf of Christian and they accept right here, right now!
HBK and Y2J vs. Tyson Tomko and Christian
HBK is in trouble early as Tyson has HBK by the neck as he tags Christian who gives HBK a knockdown until HBK ducks a clothesline and gives Christian a Thesz press! Y2J is tagged and he climbs the top rope to hit a double team move. Veritcal suplex by Y2J on Christian followed by the egotistical pin. Jericho is in control with right hands as Christian wears down. HBK is tagged back in and he hits Christian with a bionic elbow. Christian gets in a small shot and is able to tag Tyson who punished HBK in the corner. Michaels reverses into chops. The two exchange back and forth until Tyson goes for a kick but HBK catches his leg, sweeps the other leg and comes off the ropes with a dropkick to Tyson's face.
Tyson Tomko hits a nasty clothesline on a reversal to take HBK down hard. Tyson pummels him and then puts him in a neck lock. Christian and Tyson go back and forth taking turns beating down HBK.
Christian makes a run at HBK who is hung on the ropes but HBK ducks and Christian runs right into the ropes. Y2J is tagged and he nails christian with a forearm followed by a shoulder block. Sunset flip by Christian with a roll through by Jericho into the Walls! Tyson interferes but Jericho nails him with the springboard dropkick. Jericho then tosses Christian to the outside and he and HBK do a DOUBLE over the top rope cross body block on both men! We head to commercial break as HBK and Y2J are in control!
When we come back Jericho takes a spinebuster from Tyson Tomko. They gain control because Y2J was giving Tyson a 10 punch but Christian grabs his hair and drops his throat on the top rope! Christian and Tyson are now in control of Y2J as the crowd tries to help. Jericho fights back but to no avail as Christian takes him back down by the hair. Double team heel tactics portrayed by the team to keep Y2Jdown. Christian hits an inverted dropping reverse DDT on the knee. Tyson tagged back in as the team continues to wail away on Jericho.
Jericho side steps Christian who was taunting and he plants him with a face plant! Both men tag! HBK comes in and takes both men down. Flying forearm on Tyson, nip up, clothesline on Tyson to send him outside the ring. Atomic drop on Tyson followed by the top rope elbow! Michaels is on FIRE. HBK sets up for Sweet Chin music but Christian pulls his feet down and pulls his groin against the railing.
Christian gets the IC title belt and he goes to crack HBK with it but Jericho makes the save and tackles Christian outside the ring! Tyson goes for a clothesline but HBK ducks and nails the Sweet Chin music! He covers Tyson for the 1-2-3!
Winners: Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho (HBK and Y2J baby!)
After the match: Christian attacks HBK from behind and knocks him out of the ring where he hits the unprettier on the mat outside!
Seattle Slugfest
Coach introduces us to the three Divas who are left. The Coach gives them congrats and so on. He says as they know, a boxing match has only two competitors. So we will see who was voted off last week and it is.............. JOY. GOD DAMNIT. WHY JOY GOD DAMNIT. CARMELLA YOU SLUT. DIE. Sorry. Back to Raw.
Carmella vs. Christy
Rules: Two minutes of fighting until someone is knocked down or knocked out. After two minutes if nobody is knocked down the fans will decide who was the winner.
THE MUSIC OF VINCE MCMAHON HITS! Vinnie comes to the ring and says that next week he has a ground breaking announcement that will change the face of Raw forever. He has a message concerning Eric Bischoff, Raw, and all of us. But tonight he has an announcement concering... well... Coach! He says that he got the rules of the Slugfest mixed up because they won't be kicking each other's asses, they will be kicking HIS ASS. Vince says the Coach has to stand still, hands behind his back and if he moves he is FIRED.
Christy is up first. The ref makes fun of coach and tells the ladies to hit him in the face and his over sized head. No hitting below the belt, unless it is totally necessary! Christy bops him in the face a few times and then socks him in the balls with these giant gloves. She jumps on his back and tosses him a beating there and then she finishes by biting his ASS.
Carmella is up and she totally unloads on the Coach. She knocks him down 3-5 times who wicked blows to the face. She even bitch slaps him across the face with the giant glove but the crowd boos the entire time.
The ref asks the fans who won and they totally cheer Christy and totally boo Carmella. Christy wins!
Winner: Christy
No DQ Match
Kane vs. Gene Snitzky
Kane is ready ti take his agressions out on this jobber. Kane clobbers him a bunch and then Gene hits a few right hands followed by a LOW BLOW! Gene is hurting Kane a bit until he runs into a severe big boot. Kane goes for the chair and he sticks Gene's neck in it but Lita grabs the chair off his neck! Kane approaches Lita and Gene picks up the chair and smashes Kane on the back but he falls on top of Lita! Lita SCREAMS in pain and the ref and Kane call for assistance as she feels she may be in trouble with her baby. GENE SCHNITZKY (SPELLING?) MAY HAVE ABORTED THE BABY. KANE SCREAMS FOR HELP AND FINALLY THE MEDICS COME AND TAKE HER AWAY. Kane keeps telling her everything will be OK but Lita screams in pain.
Winner: No contest, unless you count Gene Schnitzky defeating an unborn embryo!
When we come back from break the crowd is chanting "baby killer" as we get a replay of Kane falling on top of Lita. Classic stuff. Lita is being carted off in a serious matter though as Kane looks on worried about her health and more importantly, the babies health.
Handi-Capped Match (3 on 1)
Evolution vs. Randy Orton
Flair and Orton start the match as Flair chops away. Orton takes control with blows though and Flair tags HHH. HHH throws Orton to the ropes and Orton slides outside the ring and pulls the legs of Batista so his face hits the apron. He then clocks Flair and then HHH! Batista is tagged in and he lands a few blows before Orton ducks one and comes back with uppercuts. Orton goes off the ropes only to run into a spinebuster. HHH is tagged in.
Orton and HHH exchange blow for blow, Orton gets the best of in until HHH gets a kick to the gut. HHH goes for the pedigree but Orton sweeps his legs. HHH kicks Orton off the buckle but Orton falls head first into HHH's crotch!
Batista comes into the ring and he takes out Orton with a hard clothesline. Evolution then decides the match is not worth it so they all gang up on Orton and get themselves DQ'ed!
Winner: Randy Orton by DQ
Evolution continues the beat down on Randy until SHELTON BENJAMIN returns to the ring! Shelton takes care of business but Evolution is too much and they start to get the upper hand until Benoit hits the ring and evens it out! Benoit, Randy, and Shelton clean house minus Batista. Orton has a chair in hand and he keeps the rest of Evolution at bay while Batista is stuck. Orton crack him with the chair in the back and Shelton follows with his corner splash! Shelton climbs the top and he drops Batista with an awesome clothesline! Benoit calls for the headubutt and he climbs to the top and he drops the headbutt on Batista. Orton gives Benoit the chair and Benoit keeps HHH and Flair at bay while Orton gives Batista the RKO!
Amazing show tonight!
Credit: PowerWrestling.Com & WrestlingAttitude.com