23 Aug 2004 by Badrose
Tonight we will have Edge vs. Chris Jericho for the IC title and we will see Randy Orton's reaction from last week. Don't forget that also tonight will be the wedding between Kane and Lita!
Coach announces the six remaining WWE Diva's from the Raw Diva Search and they head to the ring in their bikini wear. Coach has the envelope, the crowd boos Carmella when Coach says her name. He opens the envelope and the loser this week is Tracy, the hot black chick with funny hair. Too bad. Only five left. The Coach says their assignment this week is to tell the Coach how great he really is in two minutes. But then he says 2 minutes is not enough so he is going to make it...
IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLL........ IT'S THE ROCK! The Rock comes to the ring in a wife beater ready to work the mic! What a pop from the crowd as the Rock hits the ring and does his pose on the ropes
The Rock says the Coach can run his mouth telling the Diva's they have 5 minutes, The Rock says Coach has 5 seconds to get the hell out of the ring before The Rock gives him the beating of a lifetime! Rock counts down on his fingers and when he gets to one the Coach books! The Rock does his "finally" speach and the crowd goes a bit nuts for that as usual.
The Rock turns his attention to the chicks and tells them they are all looking fine. He says the chicks are thinking "damn, look at The Rock." He says they are also thinking "I am getting so wet." The crowd goes nuts and Rock says he meant wet because it's hot in here. HAHA. He says they should be excited because they have the chance to become a Raw Diva. The Rock turns to Lilian and says she loves being a Raw Diva. He hits on her a bit and then says Lilian used to be just like them, she had a job working at the Sperm Bank but got fired for drinking on the job!
The Rock turns his attention to Carmella and says he heard in the back that the other girls hate him. He tells her not to worry because he was hated when he first came in. He says a few weeks back when they had the chicks selling ice cream it was a lot of fun. NOT. He says it sucked, which it did. He says the millions and millions want to see the girls eat PIE! Tajiri brings out pies for the girls and The Rock tells them they are going to have a pie eating competition. The Rock works the crowd like a nut. He tells one guy that he is drunk and tells him to sit down. He then says "I heard ya'll got some good weed here in Anaheim." The Rock asks Tajiri what his favorite kind of pie is and Tajiri says "POONTONG!"
The Rock has the chicks eat pie. The first chick doesn't do anything except talk to The Rock and eat cherries. The crowd boos. The second chick eats it with her tongue and she gets props from the crowd. Carmella goes and gets boos the entire time. The Blonde goes and she is by far the hottest one left after seeing her eat pie. The red headed freak goes and says her butt is hungry because it's been eating her panties all day. She puts the pie down and sits on it!
The Coach comes out with La Resistance and he says he is SICK of The Rock trying to ruin him. He says they are going to go to the ring and beat The Rock and Tajiri up. The Rock moves the pie table and tells the ladies to leave the ring and says "Just Bring it Bitch!" La Resistance hits the ring and The Rock and Tajiri have the upper hand until the Coach comes and ruins it all. La Resistance takes down Tajiri and then The Rock is in the corner getting stomped on until the Coach slaps his FACE! Rhyno hits the ring and gores one of the La Resistance members and then Tajiri kicks the other in the face. The Coach is lost as he has nowhere to go. The coach freaks out and starts jumping around slapping his head like a jerk off until he runs into a spinebuster by The Rock. People's Elbow and If You Smelllllll... what a segment!
Kane is shown in the back walking with his suit as he whistles "Here comes the Bride" with a large smile on his face.
HHH is shown in the back after highlights of last week's beatdown on Orton is shown. Flair and Batista are shown walking in as HHH tells them that Randy is no longer in charge of his destiny, they are!
Kane shows up and says he knows it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding but he tells Lita that he could not resist. He says he wants Lita to wear white to signify the purity of his child. He whips out a white gown. He says he knows Lita does not want to do this but cheer up because it's a nice day for a white wedding.
Intercontinental Title Match
Edge (c) vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho starts the match with an arm drag takedown into and armbar, Edge grabs the ropes to break. They lock up again and Jericho gets a waist lock into an arm drag takedown as Jericho works on the arm of Edge. Jericho looks for another arm drag but Edge pops him with a right hand and continues to. Jericho taunts Edge who takes the bait and runs at Jericho who pulls the ropes down and Edge goes to the outside. Jericho hits his springboard dropkick sending Edge to the floor as the WWE takes a commercial break after only 1 minute of action!
When we come back Jericho is in trouble as Edge is wearing him down but Edge runs into a heel kick and both men are down.
The two battle back and forth with chops and punches. Jericho runs at Edge in the corner but Edge jumps and Jericho slides to the outside and pulls Edge's feet down. Jericho comes back in the ring and hits a top rope reverse elbow for two. Jericho in control until he springs off the ropes into a kick to the gut and a DDT by Edge, this results in a close two count.
Edge waits in the corner for Y2J to get up as he calls for the spear. Edge runs at Jericho but Jericho moves and Edge stops before he runs into the ref. He turns around into the Walls of Jericho! The two roll through and you cannot tell who in pinning who but the ref counts to three as Jericho's leg is on the ropes! Edge is announced the winner though and he leaves the ring and grabs his title belt! The ref however goes to the announcer and says something and then he goes to tell Edge something as we go to commercial break.
Winner: Edge
When we come back from break the match is still going on and Y2J is in control! Edge takes him down with a shoulder and he is in control very upset with the restart of the match. Y2J hits a flying elbow followed by a knockdown and enzeguiri to the back of Edge's head. Edge is stuck on the ropes and Y2J does his running knee followed by a bulldog. Jericho goes for the lionsault but Edge counters. The two battle back and forth until Jericho misses a punch and Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for a two count. Edge maintains control with forearms to Jericho. Edge tries to toss Jericho out but Jericho hangs on the apron but this allows Edge to spear him off the apron into the guardrail.
Edge pulls Jericho back in the middle of the ring and the two exchange blows until Jericho ducks a punch and hits the Walls of Jericho! Edge however is able to crawl to the ropes. Jericho runs off the ropes and Edge catches him and puts him on the ropes nuts first. Jericho is in pain as he falls to the ground. The BELL RINGS FOR SOME REASON AS EDGE IS GETTING READY FOR THE SPEAR. Edge hits the Spear anyway and looks down at Jericho as the ref keeps calling for the bell. The ref goes over to Lilian and tells her that Edge is DQ'd for purposely dropping Jericho on the ropes!
Winner: Chris Jericho by DQ, but still IC Champion, Edge
Evolution in the ring, gives Orton options:
HHH says there has been a lot of talk about destiny as of late but he does not believe in destiny. He says life is not pre determined and it is about what choice you make but each choice has consequences. He says Randy made the choice to join Evolution and the consequence of that choice was that he became very successful. He also made another choice since he was supposed to only soften up Benoit but instead he decided to win. He says that title is HIS. He is the best wrestler alive right now and everyone knows it except Randy Orton. HHH says his destiny has already been chosen for him and the beating he took last week was his consequence. He says it is time for Orton to make a choice, the right one or the wrong one. He says the right choice is to come into the ring and lay down to give HHH his title. If he does that HHH will let him live one more day above the ground and Evolution will forget this all happened. If he makes the wrong choice, HHH will make sure Randy ceases to exist. HHH says when it comes to the world title for him there is no right and wrong, just life, and death. HHH says it is time for Randy to choose his destiny.
Orton hits the ramp with a badge on his head. Batista and Flair stand outside the ring as they watch Orton go into the ring where HHH awaits. Orton and HHH have dead serious looks on their face. HHH says send me a referee so Randy Orton can make the right decision. A ref comes to the ring. HHH tells Orton to hand him the title. He then SCREAMS it at him. Orton hold the title out and HHH grans it but Orton does not let go. Orton then gives a smirk to HHH AND SPITS RIGHT IN HIS FACE. HHH freaks out and runs at Orton who clocks him in the face with the title belt! Orton then makes a run for it into the crowd where he holds the title high as HHH and Evolution scream in madness in the ring!
When we come back from commercial Victoria is yelling at Eric Bischoff for making Lita marry Kane until HHH comes and grabs Eric by the throat and screming "DO YOU SEE THIS, DO YOU SEE THIS? HE SPIT.. IN.. MY FACE..." Eric says he sees it and HHH asks what he is going to do about it and Eric tells HHH that at the next pay per view he will have a world title shot!
William Regal w/ Eugene vs. Ric Flair w/ Batista
The two lock up and Regal gets the upperhand with some holds and forearms to the face of Ric Flair. The lock again and flair gets a cheap shot in as he takes Regal to the corner for a few chops. He then takes Regal to another corner and does it again a few times. A woo from Flair wakes some of the crowd up as most have fallen asleep in the first minute of this match. Regal reverses in the corner and hits a few Euro uppercuts. He whips Flair to the buckle and then gives him a back body drop. He takes Flair down again and gives him a right hand which causes a classic Flair Flop!
Flair eventually works Regal to the outside where he measures Regal up for a few chops followed by another woo! Flair turns around to catch a back body drop on the outside mat! Regal rolls back into the ring as the WWE cuts to a commercial.
When we come back Flair is in control with an elbow and a hard shot followed by a dropping knee to the face. Flair whips Regal into the corner and proceeds to stomp on him. Batista gets his hands wet a bit as Regal is in trouble with Flair in total control. regal is still in pain from his several beatings from HHH.
Regal and Flair make exchange some blows until Regal gets the upper hand with Euro cuts. Flair goes into the corner and gets a back body drop. Flair gets a thumb to the eye of Regal and climbs the top rope only to be thrown off. Regal is in control with a double underhook suplex but as he goes to take advantage Flair gets a cheap shot in again.
Regal runs off the ropes and Batista clubs him. Regal falls down and Flair puts on the Figure 4 Leg Lock. Regal is in pain as Batista grabs the hands of Flair to help but the ref catches it and yells at Batista. This allows eugene to come in and reverse the Figure 4! Batista finds Eugene and throws him into the ring post head first. Benoit comes out and he takes down Batista hard. Back in the ring both Flair and Regal are rising with brass knucks in their hands! They bump into one another and Regal beats Flair to the punch and knocks him out! Regal covers Flair for the victory!
Winner: William Regal
The Wedding From HELL:
Lita is shown in the back in her white dress looking herself in the mirror. Ske picks up a vase and smashes the mirror. The ring looks all decked out for a white wedding as Kane, in his white suit, walks to the ring and smiles!
The priest is in the ring as the ring bearer comes out and it is a midget with black make-up on his eyes. The flower girl is also a midget in a white dress. The band plays some stuff on the violin and piano for Kane as he comes out all smiles. Lita's bride music hits and she comes to the ring IN A BLACK DRESS! Kane is irate as Lita walks the isle, or, ramp, er, isle; whatever. The bride music is kind of gotchic and cool at least. Lita stands next to Kane who manages to smile anyway.
The priest welcomes us to the wedding but says someone else has something to say about this all. He says this person is very close to the bride and groom. The priest announces Eric Bischoff!
Eric comes to the ring and says he wishes to read a passage from the holy bible. He starts reading some bible passage about two different people who are a bit the same. The crowd starts to slowly "WHAT?" him. Eric keeps reading a bunch. He finishes with an amen and the priest thanks him. The priest says they have a very unique relationship and to illustrate how unique it is, the groom has put together a very special video which will show his loves for her. Funny ass video package to say the least. It shows Lita going to the bathroom to take the pregnancy test and Kane smiling and her crying the whole time, HAHAH. Sick. Kane goes to touch Lita and she pulls away. They say their vows.
Kane says when he first though of Lita to carry his seed, she was an instrument but now she is more than just the woman carry his child, she is now his property. She will no longer feel freedom, she will no longer feel the embrace of another man from this day forward until the day she dies. The priest is weirded out by this. Lita says that she hates Kane more than life itself and he is a a sick horrible person and she still loves Matt Hardy. She says her only hope now is that he suffers a horrible accident resulting in immediate death. She hopes he rots in HELL!
"that was beautiful" - Kane
The priest asks to move on. He asks if anyone should reject the wedding and the crowd goes nuts. He goes to marry them but Trish comes to the ring in a white hot ass outfit. She says she is here to support her on her big night but she did not pick a maid of honor so she figured she'd be the best fit. Trish says to Lita it will be OK because all she has to do is open her heart just like she opened her legs. Lita smacks Trish and rolls down the stairs with her and beats her senseless. Kane brings her back in the ring.
The priest asks Lita if she does and she bitterly says she does. She goes to ask Kane but the music of Matt Hardy hits and he attacks Kane from behind and hits him with the Twist of Fate outside the ring! Matt grabs Lita and they book for the back but as they are running, Kane sits up and creates a FIRE on the ramp so Matt and Lita cannot escape. He makes a go at Matt and they fight until Kane boots him in the face, slaps on the chokeslam and send him skying off the stage through some tables! He grabs Lita and drags her back to the ring and forces the priest to finish the ceremony. The priests asks Kane, he says I do and Kane kisses his bride. KANE AND LITA ARE OFFICIALLY MARRIED.
Credit: Powerwrestling.com & WrestlingAttitude.com