The Story Of A Caterpillar.

I feel like I am like every other caterpillar. I live in a Shisham tree, we call it Sarovani. Of course to me every tree is like a city. We have our regions; mine is called Fajita. We have our schools and even
colleges in foreign trees. We live in colonies and I have friends and family. I go to school of course, I
used to. Now I’ve graduated and I’m wondering where to go.

I am standing at the tip of one of the branches when I hear a voice. It is muffled and I realize that it
must be one of the pupae’s. You don’t see them as often as you used to. At least you see them more than the butterflies.

I rather like butterflies. Sometimes I envy them; it must have taken so much conviction to get to the stage they are in. But anyway talking about that voice, it was surprisingly young as most caterpillars pupate at a later stage.

“Hey kid!” the pupae had said.
I do not like being called ‘kid’ but I ignore it. I respond to the greeting, “Hi! My name’s Dajyi,yours?”
The voice now that I hear it again is probably belonging to someone just perhaps a few months older
than me. “My name’s Rendi. And yes I am young, just one year, two months.” Just three months older than me, still three months is a lifetime…And that is really how we met and what blossomed into
a great friendship in just a little while.

* * *
“So Dajyi what do you plan to do with your life? Are you going anywhere? Are you moving ahead?” he says a week later to our first meeting.“Yes Rendi I’ve finally decided, I’m going to Flora
University.”
“That’s not what I meant Dajyi, that is a movement in the literal form of the word.What I am talking about is evolution, are you thinking about evolving?”
“Rendi this is an evolution, a mental one.”
“But what about a spiritual evolution? Do you think you were made to study, do a job, marry, have kids, grandkids and die?”
“Of course not, I plan to pupate but later in life, there’s so much time.”
What is wrong with him today? I hate people meddling in how I live my life still the conversation is
interesting.
“You are confusing Dajyi something that is very important. Evolution must take place as early as
possible and the reason for that is uncertainty. You can never be certain how long you will live. What if you find out tomorrow that you are to die in two days time? Would you have enough time to pupate and perhaps turn into a butterfly? No you wouldn’t.
“And Dajyi the more time you spend in this world of caterpillars with it’s own rules and it’s own systems and laws, it’s own style, the more you like it. The more you grow fond of it. You might grow old not wanting to pupate, as you are content with this life you live. Or you might go through so much that you feel there is no point in changing.
“Do you not agree?”
Confused, that is what I am.
Or perhaps I am just disturbed. We hate it when a magnifying glass comes from nowhere and shows us that the line we thought was immaculate and straight is in actuality all bent and crooked.
This little speech of Rendi’s has that effect on me, it makes me feel that all I have achieved till now is
worthless and that what I thought were steps in the right direction, were steps- yes- but not in any
direction, they were an ever-changing vector.
I look up at him, there are not really any eyes to see, just a muffled voice in a silver delicate cocoon
but I look up at him, perhaps abstractly and all I can say in my confusion is, “I’m not sure, Rendi, I’m just not sure.”

* * *
I am convinced now that I must evolve; I go home and tear up my college applications. I snatch the plug out of my stereo system; everyone knows how one can evolve. Some things must be left and some adopted. I get rid of all those things that are a hindrance to my evolution and take out all those things from the upper shelf of my house’s cupboards that I need to assist me to evolve. My parents look at me strangely but say nothing. My brother; Catina does however ask me what I am doing, he is younger than me, six months, yet I still give him the same lecture Rendi gave me, he seems to understand. He wants to accompany me the next time I go to Rendi, I am hesitant, and I do not want
him getting into trouble. Some families are not against evolution but my parents do not want to lose
me to this seemingly ‘worthless’ change.

* * *
Over the days I meet Rendi more, Catina and one of my friends, Zamia, come with me. We meet and talk about things in general, often I see Catina spaced out and understand that he does not understand everything being said but I suppose it’s okay. My parents have Catina and me sit down and try to
persuade us to stop this nonsense but we are adamant.We stop doing many things that our parents are still doing and do on a larger scale many things are parents are doing at a much smaller.
Finally one day as I am going outside my father roughly grabs one of my arms and turns me to face
Catina who is sitting on the floor, thinking. “Look at what you have done to your little brother
Dajyi, he is always sad and depressed.” I look at Catina and then back at him, “Sad because his life as you have made him live it until now has been a waste.” I say my voice full of malice for the false accusation.
He pushes me towards the door and I tumble out.
“Come back Dajyi,” he says to me his eyes oozing anger and hatred, “when you develop some sense.”
“Father, if I develop some sense I might not be coming back.” I turn back before leaving and see the confused expression on his face.
Catina is coming with me.

* * *
We go to Rendi; Zamia, Catina and I, and are standing there talking to him when from behind us we here someone coming, we turn to see it is Colonel Maginesa, the head of Fajita.
“Hello children,” I notice he ignores Rendi but that is understandable, “I hope you are keeping good
health, I have come to give you a choice. Either change back and stay or go on like this and leave.”
There is a smirk on his face and I understand its presence. They are afraid of us because we are a
threat to their way of life. They are against our changing because we influence others to change,
therefore changing the way these people live, their lifestyle and this is something I knew they would not
tolerate.
“Do my parents know of this Colonel?” I say my head still down, I hear feet scraping, many feet scraping.
“Dajyi,” he says, “it is their idea.”
I look up and lock eyes with Catina and Zamia; they bend their heads down in shame.
They stand beside the Colonel.
I turn my back to them and face Rendi once again, he must know what is happening but I am glad that he does not interfere. I hear Catina sobbing, “Come on Dajyi, don’t make this more…” his voice trails off. But I am adamant, Catina, Zamia, my family, Fajita and even Sarovani, they are not worth my evolution, my Heaven.
No one is.
I stand at the tip of the branch, clinging precariously, “Then if this is how it is to be, so be it.” I say and jump off the branch onto the soft, free grass below.
I hear no one scream behind me.

* * *
Us caterpillars, due to our make, can fall from great heights and survive provided the ground is soft, grass or mud preferably. I land and without looking up begin to walk away. I realize that I really do not need them, as they would only prove to be obstacles and only plague my mind with doubts concerning my evolution.
The only sensation I really have is a pang of pity for Catina and Zamia. But they are neither my business nor my responsibility.
I walk on.

* * *
I approach a small plant that is filled by pupae’s, odd because I have never seen anything like this
before. But then I think that it is the first time that I have really ventured far from my house. The plant is absolutely filled with pupae’s.
As I stand looking at the plant with admiration from a distance, and a twinge of envy, I hear a fluttering of wings. I look up to see a beautiful Monarch butterfly above me- it is hovering- which is odd for a butterfly.
“What about you?” says the butterfly asking me about something I have no idea about.
“What do you mean?” I ask him.
“What about you,” it just says again, slightly cocking it’s head towards the pupae-filled plant and suddenly, just like that, I know what he is talking about.
“Hopefully,” I say to him, and I know that he understands what I mean.
I mean that I wish to pupate. Soon.

* * *
This soon comes earlier than I had anticipated; I spend a day eating leaves and grass remaining near the pupae-filled plant. And the next day when I wake up I feel very, very different. It is as if my body is failing me, I need to do something else, I cannot eat or think, my body is just fidgety.
It is as if my mind does not belong in my body.
And then before I know it I am looking for a place on the plant.
And then before I know it, I am weaving my very own silver cocoon.

* * *
All day I spend in weaving my cocoon and as I get into it at night I instantly fall asleep.When I wake in the morning there is a strange peace about me. When I had come near the plant for the first time I had been struck by the fact that there was silence. Despite the immensity of the number of pupae there was absolute silence. And now that I am in my own cocoon do I understand why.
For there is no need to really talk, I am content.
True I am only suspended in my cocoon and nothing more but I think of evolution and I try harder to become a butterfly. From far away I hear the sound of music being played and it fills me with contempt and disgust and in that moment I realize why so many pupae never really turn into butterflies.
The answer is really quite simple, they might leave the world of caterpillars but they still like it. They
still like it with its’ meetings and it’s laws and it’s songs and its worthlessness. And that is why they
never really truly pupate, for it is only when they begin to hate these things, as they are to be hated,
can they truly change.

* * *
To my surprise my ultimate metamorphosis does not take me too long, a month at most. This month I have spent thinking and praying. Thinking and praying and seeking pardon.
I had taken enough food to last me this time.
Finally as I wake up one day the cocoon is not snug and cozy to me but tight, restricting and I stretch
myself, hard. The cocoon expands, and at first it seems that it will stay that way but then suddenly, almost as if it is not being ripped but only unraveled, it breaks open.
And I …
I spread my wings and fly into the morning sky.

* * *
There are times when you think you are listening to everything very clearly but when you stretch your
mouth everything becomes so much clearer. You think you can see perfectly clearly until you begin to wear glasses. I feel as if I have stretched my mouth and worn microscopes in my eyes. Everything is so clear, but not in the literal sense. I do not mean that up high I could see ants crawling in the grass, only that I was able to understand the meaning of everything more clearly, but maybe that was something I developed while in my cocoon without my even knowing it. I fly high into the sky and it is a great feeling, for it is now that I truly feel safe, once again I do not mean this in the literal sense.
Before I was afraid that I might die, and I was fearful of death because I had yet to evolve, I had
yet to seek pardon. But now that I have done these things I do not fear death, for I have sought pardon with a true heart, and true tears. I have evolved and I have done so fully, not only leaving things behind but also learning to hate them at the same time.

And as I fly now I am happy, content.

And such happiness and contentment as I have never known before.

Bilal Naeem (15 years)