We look around us we will notice, that Allah had created everything with certain wisdom. I'm sure that all of us have marveled more than once, at the wonders of nature and it's survival ability. From the birds that know how to build a nest to the incredible journey the salmon takes going up stream to lay eggs. From the systematic circle of the earth around the sun in order to be fair with everyone on earth, to the amazing ability of the chameleon to change color. How do the birds know when to fly south, and how do they know how to get there and even if they got there?

Allah the creator of this earth and these being and us had a system for everything, and why did He do that because He is not a smart guy who learns about the birds per se he is the creator, the maker of everything, o H is the only one who can tell us how exactly it works. A manufacturer of any product will be the best source to go to for information, so why don't we to Allah for advice on how to handle our daily life?

It seems funny to me that all the other creations of Allah just do what they are expected to and we don't, and what is even funnier is that we are the only ones who have a manual a book of instructions, the Quran and even an instructor who taught us how to use it.

When an architect builds a house it has foundation, beams, walls, roof etc.  That is a structure, and Allah has given us the structures for every aspect of our life, so they will not only be no confusion but also so they won't be any unfairness whether from one person towards another or towards him or her self or from Allah towards that person. He is so fair that he taught us how to be fair even if we don't like it because it requires selflessness to be fair. One of the best examples of that is the family structure.

Our maker has told us how to treat each other to be fair and our instructor had showed us how by example. The family structure is the foundation of our society, and without it what do we have? We all have duties and rights based again on how we were made. For example since women are created to be mothers they are expected to care for the children, who require a lot of patience. Men who are not the child bearers and thus always physically capable of working they are expected to be the breadwinners in the family.

When I look at Islam I see the perfect community, but sadly when I look at Muslims I see something else. What happened to that structure? Marriages have become a torture chamber to both men and women. Husbands treat their wives as if they were bought like slaves and expect them to work and clean and on top of that he would be very cheap, because SHE IS NOT WORKING, how about the house work and the peace of mind you get knowing that his dirty shirt is going to be cleaned and pressed, not to mention his children that she is killing herself for. She is also is expected not to answer or talk back, and on top of that he might even get violent with her because she said something. How loving is this relationship when no allowance for human nature in it. The prophet never hit any of his wives he treated them with love understanding and tolorence. And there were problems, remember the story when Aisha had a spat with him and went to see her father Abubakr and when she got there she turned to her husband the prophet himself and said "Don't you lie now" he didn't say how dare you call me a liar no on the contrary when her father slapped her for saying that, he got angry at Abubakr. How about the time when she switched food with Umm salama r and he knew and kept eating but waited for her to say something, and when she told him he said to give Ummsalama her drink, but not once did he yell or accused her of taking him for a fool. How about when she used to tell him every time she was angry "YOU, YOU THE ONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE RASULUALLAH' and he used to say calmly "yes me the one who claims to be rasuluallah he didn't say how dare u say that you are a kafir.  How about he had all these wives and used to come home and help them, how many husbands are willing to do that, I hear a lot of this is her duty. I want to know just when a man is so unfair to his wife and claims to be Sunni who's Sunnah is he talking about.

Women too are to blame sometimes, and most of the times it is pure ignorance, they learn their Deen from cultures, many women go into the marriage with the assumption that the husband is going to try to be a MAN so she tries to control that, they refuse to do what he says because they don't want him to get used to controlling her, they neglect their house chores because they are no bodies maid, and the worst kind the one who waits for her husband to get home so she can start complaining about everything and expect him to be pleasant all the time. I know of many families who spend all their times at the Masjid, first the men were doing it to get away from the kids and the noise and the complaining so the women started to go and spend the day with the children, so on top of the fact that the masjid floor is always filthy and smelly, their houses are dirty and full of roaches, so now the husband really doesn�t want to go and she doesn't want to clean, now where is the solution here. They fight all the time and talk about each other and many ended with divorce. The woman says he won't give her a bigger apartment so she can keep it neat and the man says she is too dirty and doesn't deserve it, and who came first the chicken or the egg!

Many other problems and who are the victims here, the innocent children who did not ask us to have them, we are the only ones responsible for them and we still are selfish and step on them as if they had us. What comes out of these kids, I�ll tell you prisons are full of the products of such families and psychiatrists make a lot of money of them and society reeks with their bitterness. We all say this happiness because we are far from Islam, ok so what do we do? Many men see the only solution is a second wife, so they have a way out and a way to punish the 'bad wife''. Simply put he escapes one problem and creates on other.