Allaah has enjoined marriage in a number of ayahs. He says interpretation of the meanings): �then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall
not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess.
That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice. And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the
husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart; but if they, of their own good
pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has
made it lawful).� [al-Nisaa� 4:3-4] �But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a Qintaar
(of gold, i.e. a great amount as Mahr), take not the least bit of it back; would you take it
wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin? And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken
from you a firm and strong covenant? [al-Nisaa� 4:20-21] �provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his
wife at the time of marriage) from your property� [al-Nisaa� 4:24] And Allaah tells us the story of how Moosa married the daughter of the man of Madyan
(Midian) in return for working for him for eight or ten years. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): �and live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah
brings through it a great deal of good� [al-Nisaa� 4:19] �but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them�� [ al-Baqarah 2:228] These ayahs point to the command to marry, and indicate that it is Wajib (obligatory) or
mustahabb (encouraged) according to circumstances. Allaah encourages men to choose a
righteous wife, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): �Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and
guard in the husband�s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their
husband�s property)� [al-Nisaa� 4:34] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �Women may be married for four
things: wealth, beauty, lineage or religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your
hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).� That is because she will benefit her husband
in both his spiritual and worldly affairs, and will protect herself and his wealth, and will take good
care of the family and give the children a good religious upbringing. It is permitted for a man to marry four free women, and he may have intimate relationships with
as many as he wishes of slave women whom his right hand possesses. But it is recommended to
limit oneself to only one wife if there is the fear of treating them unjustly. A marriage contract is valid in Islam if the following conditions are met, even if the marriage
does not take place in a court, or in the presence of a Judge or the Imaam of the Masjid. In
addition, it does not need to be written. The waliy (guardian) of the girl has accepted the proposal by saying, for example, "I marry you
my daughter", and the one who proposed has replied, for example, by " I accept, " or "I am
satisfied" (i.e. with his acceptance). This takes place in the presence of two witnesses. The
woman is legally eligible to marry the man according to Islamic sharee�ah (that is she is not a
Mahram of the proposer [those to whom the proposer is forbidden to marry. etc.]) There are
three pillars or conditions for the marriage before the contract in Islam: 1. Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being
valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently
forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding
(radaa�) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on. 2. There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in
his place, who should say to the groom �I marry so-and-so to you� or similar words. 3. There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever
is acting in his place, who should say, �I accept,� or similar words. The conditions of a proper nikaah (actual marriage contract) are as follows: 1. Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or
describing them, etc. 2. Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee)
may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her
wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has
agreed either in words or by remaining silent).� They asked, �O Messenger of Allaah, how is
her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?� He said: �By her silence.�
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741) 3. The one who does the contract on the woman�s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah
addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): �And marry those
among you who are single�� [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: �Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her
marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.�
(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth) 4. The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: �There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.�
(Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami�, 7558) It is also important that the marriage be announced, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: �Announce marriages.� (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan
in Saheeh al-Jaami�, 1027) The conditions of the walee are as follows: 1. He should be of sound mind
2. He should be an adult
3. He should be free (not a slave)
4. He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim,
male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be
the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An
apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody. 5. He should be of good character (�adaalah � includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as
opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them
regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is
enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for
whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage. 6. He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �No
woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the
marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the
one who arranges things on her own behalf.�
(Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami�, 7298) 7. He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of
compatibility and the interests of marriage. The fuqahaa� put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related
should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified
conditions. A woman�s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before
his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers
sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her
father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her
father, then her uncle (her father�s brother through both parents), then her father�s brother through
the father, then the sons of her father�s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father�s
brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on � as is the case with
inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman
who does not have a walee of her own. Allaah has commanded men to give women their mahr, which may be a small or large amount,
and may take the form of money/wealth or other benefits. A man who has an orphan girl under
his guardianship is commanded not to treat her unjustly. If he wants to marry her, then he has to
treat her fairly with regard to the mahr, and not give her less than she deserves. If he does not
want to marry her, then he should not prevent her from marrying someone else so that she will be
forced to give him something of her property or some of her mahr, for this is injustice and
oppression (zulm). He has to work in her best interests just as he would do for his own daughters. If a woman is mature and willingly gives her husband something of the mahr, then he has the
right to consume it without any blame being attached to him, so long as that is not because he is
keeping her hanging [not keeping her as a wife and not releasing her to marry someone else].
If he keeps her hanging in order to get back all or some of that which he gave to her, he is guilty
of a grave sin. Allaah explained the reason behind that by asking how he could take that (the mahr)
when he has enjoyed an intimate relationship with her and they have gone in unto each other, and
�and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant� [al-Nisaa� 4:21 � interpretation of the
meaning]. This covenant means the obligations of marriage which include the fulfillment of all
rights, the first of which is the mahr. The mahr is reduced by half if the husband divorces his
wife before consummation of the marriage and the mahr has been agreed. She has the right to
half of what has been agreed unless either of them gives up his or her half, which then belongs
to the other. In these ayahs it is shown that the mahr is the property of the wife and that it should
be paid in full when the marriage is consummated; the same applies if the husband dies, because
that is a conclusion to the marriage. Allaah has commanded both partners to live honorably with one another, treating one another
kindly and refraining from harming one another. Neither of them should deny or withhold the rights
of the other, or object to fulfilling those rights. Living honorably with one another means that
maintenance, clothing, accommodation etc. should be provided according to �urf (local custom),
if there is any dispute as to value and definition. It also depends on the husband�s own
circumstances. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): �Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted,
let him spend according to what Allaah has given him. Allaah puts no burden on any person beyond
what He has given him.� [al-Talaaq 65:7] Allaah urges husbands to be patient with their wives even if they dislike them, because their
nature may change, or He may grant children through them, or there may be many benefits in their
living with them and having them take care of their property. The phrase (interpretation of the meaning): �and you have given one of them a Qintaar (of gold,
i.e. a great amount as Mahr)� [al-Nisaa� 4:20] indicates that it is permissible to give a large mahr,
but it is better to be simple in this and other matters, for the best of women are those whose
demands are simple. Allaah has forbidden seven kinds of relatives (for marriage): mothers, including every female in
the direct line of ascent (i.e., mothers, grandmothers, etc); daughters, including every female in the
direct line of descent (i.e., daughters, granddaughters, etc); sisters from all sides (i.e., including
half-sisters through the father or mother); sisters� daughters, no matter how far the line of descent;
brothers� daughters, no matter how far the line of descent; paternal aunts, i.e., every sister of your
father or grandfathers; maternal aunts, i.e., every sister of your mother or grandmothers. Every
other female relative is permissible for marriage, such as daughters of paternal uncles or aunts, or
daughters of maternal uncles or aunts (first cousins). When there is a relationship through
breastfeeding (radaa�), the corresponding relatives of the breastfeeding woman and her husband,
to whom the milk belongs, are forbidden for marriage, just as is the case with blood relationships.
As far as the nursing child is concerned, the prohibition applies only to him and his children
[i.e., his siblings are not affected]. Allaah has forbidden marriage to four in-laws, three by virtue of the marriage contract itself
[i.e., regardless of whether or not the marriage is consummated]. These are the mothers of your
wives, the wives of your sons, and the wives of your fathers. (The fourth category is) the
daughters of your wives if you have consummated the marriage with their mothers; but if the
marriage has not been consummated, there is no sin in marrying the wives� daughters. Allaah has forbidden being married to two sisters at the same time. The Sunnah forbids being
married to a woman and her paternal or maternal aunt at the same time. It also forbids a free man
to marry a slave woman unless he cannot afford to marry a free woman and he is afraid of
hardship, and the slave woman is a Muslim. It is forbidden for a Muslim man to marry a kaafir woman and stay married to her, except for
chaste woman from among those who were given the Book, Jews and Christians. It is forbidden
for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man. It is forbidden to marry a zaaniyah (woman who has
committed fornication or adultery) until she repents, or to marry a woman whom one has divorced
by talaaq three times, unless she has married another man in a genuine marriage, had intercourse
with him and been divorced by him, and she has completed her �iddah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning); �and a believing woman if she offers herself to the Prophet, and the Prophet wishes to marry
her a privilege for you only, not for the (rest of) the believers� [al-Ahzaab 33:50].
This clearly indicates that the believers are not allowed to marry except with a mahr that has
been stated or agreed upon. If a condition is stipulated that there is to be no mahr, that
condition is nul and void.
Is the marriage itself invalid because of that, or should a mahr like that of a woman of similar
status be given, and the marriage remain valid? There are two scholarly views on this point.
This also indicates that �quid-pro-quo� marriages are forbidden, where two men give one
another their charges (daughters, sisters etc.) to one another in marriage, and the mahr of
each woman is the giving of the other woman in marriage. Allaah states that if a man marries a woman without agreeing upon a mahr, then he divorces
her before consummating the marriage, then she should be given a gift � a rich man should give
according to his means, and a poor man should give according to his means (cf. Al-Baqarah 2:236). Giving a gift to a divorced wife in other cases is Sunnah mu�akkadah (confirmed Sunnah), as
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): �And for divorced women, maintenance (should be provided) on reasonable (scale). This is a
duty on Al‑Muttaqoon (the pious)�[al-Baqarah 2:241] Allaah addresses women�s guardians with regard to their marriage in a number of places, for
example (interpretation of the meanings): �And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period,
do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands� [al-Baqarah 2:232] This indicates that the guardian has a say in the matter with regard to marriage. The ayah (interpretation of the meaning): �and they have taken from you a firm and strong
covenant� [al-Nisaa� 4:21] indicates that there has to be the proposal and acceptance,
because the firm and strong covenant includes the proposal of marriage and acceptance,
which implies the inclusion of the rights of the wife, including the mahr, etc. The ayah (interpretation of the meaning) �if they mutually agree on reasonable basis�
[al-Baqarah 2:232] indicates that the mutual agreement of the two spouses should be taken
into account, and that that mutual agreement should be on a reasonable basis. If a woman
agrees to marry a man who is not compatible, then her guardian has the right to prevent her
from marrying him. If a wife is rebellious, Allaah commands the husband to advise her and to forsake her in bed
[deny her her conjugal rights]. If she does not then come to her senses, then he may hit her
(lightly). If there is the fear that there is a split between them and that reconciliation is difficult,
then two arbitrators should be appointed, one from the husband�s family and one from the wife�s
family, and they should try to reconcile them if at all possible, whether by giving some
compensation or by foregoing some rights, or some other way. Otherwise, they may separate
whether by khul� or by asking for talaaq, depending on the circumstances. Mut�ah marriage means that a man marries a woman � either Muslim or from the people of the
Book � and specifies how long the marriage will last, for example five days, or two months, or
half a year, or many years. The beginning and end of the marriage are specified, and he pays her
a small mahr (dowry), and after the specified time is over, the woman exits the marriage. This kind
of marriage was permitted during the year of the Conquest of Makkah for three days, then it was
disallowed and prohibited until the Day of Resurrection. This was reported by Muslim (1406). The wife is the one with whom one stays on a long-term basis, as Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning): �� and live with them honorably �� [al-Nisaa� 4:19], but in the case of mut�ah a man does not
live with the woman for long. The wife is the one who is called a wife in sharee�ah, with whom the relationship is long-lasting.
She is mentioned in the ayah (interpretation of the meaning): �Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, � for then, they are free
from blame� [al-Mu�minoon 23:6] � the latter (a slave whom one�s right hand possesses) is not a
wife according to sharee�ah, because her stay is limited to a short time. The wife is the one who inherits from the husband, or from whom the husband inherits, because
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): �In that which your wives leave, your share is a half if they have no child�� [al-Nisaa� 4:12].
But the woman in a mut�ah marriage does not inherit, because she is not a wife, since she spends
such a short time with the man. On these grounds, Mut�ah marriage is considered to be zinaa (adultery or fornication), even if
both parties consent to it, and even if it lasts for a long time, and even if the man pays the woman
a mahr. There is nothing that has been reported in sharee�ah that shows that it may be permitted,
apart from the brief period when it was allowed during the year of the conquest of Makkah. That
was because at that time there were so many people who has newly embraced Islam and there
was the fear that they might become apostates, because they had been used to committing zinaa
during the Jaahiliyyah. So this kind of marriage was permitted for them for three days, then it was
made Haraam until the Day of Resurrection, as was narrated by Muslim, 1406. From al-Lu�lu� al-Makeen min Fataawa Fadeelat al-Shaykh �Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen, p. 41. Qiwaamah (the role of being in charge or head of the household) is one of the things that Allaah
has given to men, exclusive of women. What is meant by qiwaamah is that men are entrusted with
the task of being responsible for women, to take care of them, to guide them in the best possible
way, and to issue commands and prohibitions - just as a ruler takes care of the people under his
control. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "...but men have a degree (of responsibility) over
them [women]..." [al-Baqarah 2:228] and "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,
because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support
them) from their means..." [al-Nisaa� 4:34] Ibn Katheer said: "This means that men are in charge of women; they govern them and
discipline them if they do wrong." Al-�Allaamah Shaykh al-Shanqeeti said: "This indicates
that men are better than women, because the masculine is honor and perfection, whereas
the feminine naturally has something lacking physically. All people are agreed on this,
because all peoples give women the best of adornments, which is only to make up for this
natural lack..." Rare cases among women are nothing to go by, because the exception does not change the rule.
Some of the reasons why men are given the role of qiwaamah include: 1. Men are more intelligent and have a better ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Al-Qurtubi said: "Men have the advantage of being more wise and more capable of
management; for this reason they were given the right of qiwaamah." 2. Men�s religion is more complete, because women menstruate and bleed after childbirth,
and do not pray or fast at such times - unlike men. 3. Spending money in charity and on one�s family is a duty on men, but not on women.Thus if a
man refuses to spend on his wife, she has the right to seek an annulment of the marriage by
going to a Qaadi (Sharee�ah judge). In summary, qiwaamah is only for men, as is made clear in the Qur�aan. If a woman spends
on her husband, herself and her children, this is an act of kindness on her part, as Allaah, may
He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): "... but if they, of their own good pleasure,
remit any part of it (the mahr) to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah
has made it lawful)." [al-Nisaa� 4:4] Qiwaamah is for men in all cases: one can hardly imagine
a man asking his wife for permission to go out, for example. And Allaah knows best. For more information on this matter, please refer to: Ibn al-�Arabi, Ahkaam al-Qur�aan, 1/531;
Ahkaam al-Jassaas, 2/188; Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 2/169; Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/491; al-Shanqeeti,
Adwaa� al-Bayaan, 1/136-137)
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