Here's the previous jokes I've displayed. Once again, if you have any good ones, feel free to send them to me.

Clairvoyant Child

There was once a clairvoyant little boy, who could foresee the future.
One night while saying his prayers, the little boy was heard to finish, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, goodbye Grandpa." The next day his grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack.
A few weeks later, the little boy was praying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, goodbye Grandma." The next day his poor grandmother was hit by a bus while crossing the street -- she never felt a thing.
A month or so later, the little boy was praying and said, "God bless Mommy, goodbye Daddy." His father panicked. He had himself driven, very carefully and slowly, to work, by an armed guard in an armored security truck he hired. He couldn't concentrate, however, thinking about those words, "Goodbye Daddy." He finally came home early, but very carefully. He was met at the front door by his wife, who said, "What do you think happened today, dear? The most awful thing -- the milkman dropped dead on the back porch."

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was unevenful except that every few minutes, the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final yahoo and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arm around his waist and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback."

Subject: Boys will be boys :o)
Little Boys and God
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.
The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"
The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming himself in the closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it."

Subject: What a rip!!!!
So there's these 2 naked statues, the man and the woman, they had been standing looking at each other in this park for a hundred years. So an angel comes to visit them and says that since they've stood there patiently through such ages of summers and winters, they will be rewarded with half an hour of human life to do what they have been wanting to do most...
So these 2 statues come to life , and look at each other and laugh a bit, and say, "Shall we?" and "Yes" and then they nip off behind the bushes, and there is a lot of rustling...
After about 15 minutes, they come out from behind the bushes all hot and flustered and happy, and the angel says they've only used up half of their time, why don't they start over again.
So the statues giggle a bit and the man statue says to the girl statue,
" Okay, let's do it again, only this time we'll do it the other way around. I'll hold down the fucking pigeon and you shit on it."

Subject: Stage fright
Subject: IT'S FUNNY
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.