because your children would ask you where you met daddy,
and you'd have to say
you don't remember anything about that night
vodka, tiny yellow umbrellas,
midnight music, and someone's hand on you back.
you followed a stranger to
a strange bed.
after 20 years of clutching your hymen,
like a jewel,
you woke up used, naked, alone,
reached across the sheets for a warm body,
but found only
an indention in the pillow
and a twenty, left for your cab fare home
you never imagined it'd be like that.
but that was years ago.
these days your gone before your lovers ever know
you were there.
you justify it all so easily
because, you cannot be bothered with
morning sickness or babysitters
maternity-leave does not fit into your
five-year-plan.
and because,
what guy will introduce you to his mother
when you've got spit-up on your sleeve
you'll forever claim you were doing a favor,
when you draped yourself in a
back-less cloth and let life pass them by.
you think, i am lucky that i never said hello,
but really
you've done yourself a misdeed
cause you'll never learn what it means
to really say goodbye
