Music and the City
"Does Rock & Roll Rule, or Does it Rule Us?"
(And The Story of The Plastic Pink Flamingo)Every rock & roll fan has got that one album that acted as a sort of an anthem in their lives. The one album that you can play 10, even 20 years later…and it’ll take you right back to what was going on in your life when you first discovered and bought it.
For me, it was Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet.
I used to have this personal rule about buying CDs (this was the time before Napster and the like), even if I really really liked one of the songs off of the album, I’d wait until I at least knew that there was a second song that I liked a lot as well. So even though I thought that “You Give Love A Bad Name” was the coolest thing I’d ever heard – I waited. Then when “Livin’ On A Prayer” hit the airwaves and video stations I knew I HAD to get that album.
It was snowing heavily the afternoon I went to buy Slippery When Wet. Very cold, very slippery (no pun intended)…a typical winter day in Chicago. I wandered from record store to record store (pre-Amazon.com)…even slipping and falling on the slick sidewalk and having a group of kids laughing at me…but to no avail. Everyone was sold out of Slippery When Wet and I was beside myself.
I met one of my best friends in the entire world, Jobee, because of Bon Jovi. Together, we went to Bon Jovi’s concerts, bought the same kind of suede-fringed jackets that Jon and Richie had, and even went in search of the same sort of ‘slippery when wet’ road sign that was featured on the album so that we could take pictures of ourselves by it. It was a good time to be young & completely immersed in the band that we loved.
[The organ/keyboard intro to Bon Jovi’s opening cut on Slippery When Wet, "Let It Rock,” is called the “Pink Flamingo.”]
Probably the best band to become completely obsessed with, however, is Kiss. I always liked Kiss but was never completely into them until recently. It’s one thing to get turned on to a band, and if you’re lucky, there’s one other album out there by that artist for you to check out. So what if I am reliving my early-teens at this point in my life. Kiss has got tons of albums…and all these great toys!
In Gene Simmons’ best-selling book, Sex Money Kiss, he talks about how to do what you love, and get people to pay you for it. Simmons has capitalized on this notion better than most. And yes…I am the stereotypical consumer. I bought his books, I’ve got the Kiss toys and CDs. I follow the herd and throw my (few and far between) dollar bills at the bands I love along the way.
I’ve personally heard a lot of people making snide remarks about Simmons’ obsessive marketing techniques; how he’ll put either his name, or Kiss’ name, on ANYTHING in order to make a buck. But that’s the American dream, isn’t it? How is that any different than the actors on the television show Friends being paid their various millions per episode? Or Dell selling lots upon lots of computers after hiring that geeky, annoying “dude” kid to do their commercials. Where there’s an interest and demand, there will be a profit.
[Jobee and I became obsessed with the plastic pink flamingo lawn ornaments - disgusted whenever we saw them… And one person who had a couple of these hideous decorations in their yard was Jobee’s next-door neighbor…]
I have no issues with Simmons selling everything from Kiss wine to Kiss coffins.
Kiss caskets. Tacky? Maybe a little. But how better to tell the living left behind that you are an individual? …And that you are still, in your death, a representative music fan and consumer!
Not only that, but also that you paid an outrageous amount of money to be so. That’s where my only issue arises with some of Kiss’ stuff…the fact that I can’t afford it. I’d love to own copies of the nine-pound books “Kisstory” and “Kisstory II,” but at $158-bucks each…well, let’s just say the economy better be improving soon or I’ll forever be Kisstory-less.
I guess I just can’t be as much of a Kiss fan as I’d like to be…not until I reach a higher pay bracket anyway. And to some, it might sound silly, but it’s thru those books and toys, those CDs and t-shirts that the average person can feel closer to the music they love, the musicians they lust, and the lyrics that touch their souls. When fans pay to have their favorite band’s logo tattooed on their body, it’s a way of identifying with, and declaring, how that band’s music is a part of their life.
I thought it was awesome when Pearl Jam tried fighting the evil forces of Ticket Master in honor of the wallets of their fans.
But…Lars Ulrich? I highly doubt you’ll lose your multi-million dollar estate any time soon if I download a couple Metallica songs for free. Between the concert I went to a few years back and the CDs that I own, I’ve contributed plenty to the Metallica-fund during my consumer years. Now why don’t you buy me a copy of “Kisstory” and we’ll call it even?
[One night, while Jobee waited in the get-away car, I stole her neighbor’s plastic pink flamingo… I cut off its head while slicing into one of my fingers as well… cutting down to the bone, and leaving a scar ‘til this day. I still have the head. Jobee blew up the body one 4th of July. The neighbor died not long after- I’m going to assume in good faith that it wasn’t grieving her missing lawn ornament. Maybe it would have been easier to just
buy a Bon Jovi keychain?]On that note, I’ll wish all my Sass & The City readers a happy holiday season.
May there be plenty of sparkling CDs underneath your Christmas tree (and under mine too).
My only New Years resolution is to get Gene Simmons to buy a Sass
t-shirt.
