Music and the City
"ROOM SERVICE - THE PLEASURE AND PAIN"
This column is brought to you by…
Tic-Tac Breath Mints: The perfect sustenance when spending the entire day stalking your favorite rock band.
Sharpie: Don’t ask for an autograph without it…
-and-
Physique Shampoo & Conditioner: Rock stars will love your hair!
When my girlfriend Christine asked me to take her to meet Steven Tyler, I got that tingle again. I’ve met the guys from Aerosmith on a few different occasions, but the last time was a whopping nine years ago! It’s not that I haven’t had the opportunity in all those years, but as much as I do like talking to my favorite rock stars whenever possible – I don’t want to be considered their “Midwest stalker” either. …However, that 8 x 10 glossy of Tyler and myself has been hanging – autograph-less – on my wall for nine years.
It was time.
On the subway with Christine at my side, my own personal inventory included the photograph of Steven and me, two Sharpies, the cover of Aerosmith’s Just Push Play CD, my digital camera, and copies of two articles I’d written on Aerosmith and gotten published - to give to the man, the myth, the legend himself: Steven Tyler. (Hey, even rock stars need reading material, right?) Christine had brought a camera, CDs, and Sharpies as well, and lucky for us, Tic-Tacs galore.
Though this is a ‘groupie’ column of sorts…and I am a rock journalist…this is in no way going to be a tell-all (certain details don’t belong in print). Nor will this be a how-to piece. My methods for knowing where bands are staying when in town are ancient-Sassy-secrets, and are going to stay that way. This is simply a telling of our “Rock Star Friday,” for your amusement. But I digress…
When Christine and I got to the hotel and I was mapping out our strategy for her, I pushed the button to call the elevator and as if it were planned, the elevator doors open – and who steps out but Tom Hamilton and Joey Kramer. After talking to them and getting their autographs I assured Christine that such luck is very rare when trying to meet a band as legendary as Aerosmith. As fortunate as we were right off the bat, it’s generally not that easy.
A little while later in the hotel then, we caught Brad Whitford on his way out. Whitford is always very friendly and accommodating to fans - as far as I’m concerned, one of the nicest guys in rock. Christine and I shared a Tic-Tac moment and counted down…there just were Steven and Joe left! Moments later we see that tall frame, that thick black hair…and as we’re smiling at him and bracing ourselves to talk to Joe Perry, he plops down next to us…yet, it’s not guitar wizard Joe Perry after all…it’s guitar wizard Tommy Thayer from Kiss! And as cool and friendly as Thayer was…I spent the first five minutes of our time with him internally kicking myself.
KISS!
The band my mother wanted to take me to go see when I was eight-years-old but I refused because I was scared of the pyros! (Guess the hotel wasn’t the first time I was a dummy in regards to Kiss!)
I knew that Kiss was touring with Aerosmith…I even wrote an article about it for a Chicago area entertainment magazine…but did I bring a Kiss CD cover to get signed? -No. Did I even think about the fact that Kiss would most likely be staying at the same hotel as Aerosmith? -No. (Sigh) What kind of a rock journalist was I anyway?
While hanging out with Tommy Thayer, Christine and I got to pick his brain a little about what it’s like to be the “new guy” in Kiss and how long it takes all of them to put on their make-up before each show. We also got to talk to him about really important things too like what his views were on Chicago and whether his hair is really black or dark-brown; and he put up with it like the true gentleman that he is. Christine and I decided it was time for another Tic-Tac, but Thayer politely declined.
When Gene Simmons came down, other than the fact that he was sans make-up (obviously) and dressed like a civilian, he was the quintessential ‘Gene Simmons’ persona. As Thayer introduced us to Simmons and we each shook his hand, it was hard not to get hypnotized by those intense and ardent dark eyes of his. However, Christine snapped back to reality when Simmons wiped his hand off on his jeans after shaking her nervously-induced damp palm, and I was yanked back into the real world when he came over and playfully began tugging on my long hair.
At one point, I looked over at Christine and behind one of the pillows on the plush couch we were sitting upon (which I’m sure, is worth more than everything I own), I showed Christine how badly my hands were shaking. I’m a little weird when it comes to meeting celebrities. I think in some ways, I never got over that whole ‘be cool’ stigma that everyone goes thru in their teen years. A few years back when I ran into one of the Chicago Bears, I ignored him because he was looking at me as if expecting me to run over and fawn all over him…and when I met original Bon Jovi bassist, Alec Such, I scolded him (We’ll save that story for another time). The fan that cries and faints, I shall never be, but that doesn’t mean that I’m all calm and cool in the inside. And when Doc McGee came thru the lobby and stopped to talk to the guys, my mouth almost dropped open. Doc McGee of Bon Jovi fame - and myself a huge Bon Jovi fan! However, needless to say, I kept my cool.
So after the sad moment of goodbyes when Tommy, Gene and Peter left for their show, Christine and I sat there for a moment reveling in the “Oh-my-God… We-were-just- hanging-out-with-Kiss” excitement, we both popped another Tic-Tac, and then that’s when the dweeb from the hotel came over to kick us out. Because we didn’t have our own reservations, and we were asking for autographs, and the hotel is private property…blah blah blah. This guy didn’t even look like he was shaving yet. I suppose that if I were famous I would want the staff being just as assiduous in any hotel I stayed in, but the rocker/fan in me wanted to scream out, “Give us a break! We weren’t making a scene, didn’t freak out…and hell, the band came over to us!” Alas, we left the hotel…or rather; I should say we were ‘escorted’ out.
Meanwhile, it had begun raining rather heavily outside. Several hours had passed since Christine had a bowl of soup for breakfast, and myself a bowl of cereal. Steven Tyler was the goal, and five minutes away from our post out in front of the hotel could very well allow him to slip on by without our knowledge. So we made friends with the doormen, and waited. The hotel marquee kept us from getting soaked, but it was cold and windy out, noisy downtown traffic getting heavier as it approached rush hour, and I consumed more Tic-Tacs that day than I think I had the entire past year. Christine’s back ached, my feet were hurting, we were both hungry and desiring a drink at this point…when suddenly, I grabbed Christine & said, “There’s Joe!” So we meekly walked over to the tall man in leather pants with the thick raven hair…and as I’m expecting to hear Christine asking, “Can we have a couple of autographs, Joe?” I hear her asking, “Can we have a couple of autographs, Paul?” Once again while thinking that we were about to meet Joe Perry, we were duped by a member of Kiss…this time it was Paul Stanley.
When Doc McGee came out and signed our autographs I explained to him that as a long-time Bon Jovi fan, as far as I was concerned, he was like God. (Gee…and I bet the rock stars are used to hearing things like that.)
Then a member of Aerosmith’s security approached us. He asked us if we were waiting for the band, and risking getting shooed away, we told him the truth. Humbly, we asked if we could stay and he was okay with it. And then when another hotel dweeb came out to ask us again to leave (though we were standing outside the hotel), the security guy vouched for us. Hands down, this is the coolest thing that anyone has ever done for me. He totally didn’t have to do that and I’m sure his job would have been a little easier that day if we weren’t there. Christine and I thanked him profusely that day, but when I see this man again, he’s getting a big hug as well.
Still raining, more Tic-Tacs…a tow-truck blocking the entire street for at least ten minutes while rabid commuters laid on their horns and grumbled with frustration.
“It’s really going to happen, isn’t it?” Christine asked me with wide-eyes.
“Yes, it is,” I smiled, and at that point realized that my knees were shaking - which is just something weird that happpens to me when I’m nervous. I’ve met Steven Tyler before and know, personally, how awesome he is. And he’s one of the few celebrities I can let down that “coolness”-guard with, yet I was still jazzed at the thought of seeing him again.
Steven Tyler is this wiry-framed, floridly boisterous entity. In Aerosmith’s tell-all, "Walk This Way – The Autobiography of Aerosmith", Tyler talks of his fascination with the Rolling Stones before Aerosmith had become a force of their own to be reckoned with. He remembers what it was like to be one of the fans who just wants a touch of that rock-idol’s hand, or their smile, or that recognition that lasts scarce moments but gives you a golden memory to play back in your head for years to come. And he knows how a little bit of kindness from someone a fan dotes upon can mean the world to that person.
When he came out and approached us with a smile and hip sounding, “What’s the hubbub?” The rain, the hotel dweeb, everything - just melted away. As a matter of fact, so did the rest of the band. As we stood with Tyler, out of the corner of my eye I saw Tom Hamilton and can assume the rest of the band was with him – including the slippery Joe Perry. When Christine asked Tyler which nipple was his on the Get A Grip CD, he lifted up his shirt exposing his chest to us and said, “I don’t know, you tell me!”
Commenting, “Awwhhh,” to the photograph of the two of us while he signed it, telling Christine with genuine emotion in his voice that her Aerosmith tattoo was beautiful, signing his name, smiling for pictures, and graciously giving us hugs and kisses, Tyler couldn’t have been sweeter.
Before Christine took a new photograph of Tyler and me, he insisted on pulling a large sum of my hair over the front of my shoulder for the picture. And when Christine hugged him goodbye…and seemingly was refusing to let go…he hugged her back gently until it was time to leave.
In the cab on the way back home, it felt so good to sit down. My knees were still shaking, as were Christine’s hands, as we recounted the highlights of our rock-star-studded day.
Our day’s ‘fun-fact’ summation:
Times we were referred to as ‘groupies’: 1 (by a woman who didn’t even know who Paul Stanley was)
Times we were kicked out of the hotel: 2 (technically)
Times Steven Tyler showed us his nipple: 2
Times non-rock fans asked us whom it was that we were getting autographs from: 3
Cab ride: $20
Weary body parts: Several
Tic-Tacs consumed: Countless
The experience: UNFORGETTABLE
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