If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse
If you put mme in a house I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse then I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat then I'd rather chase a mouse
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to shout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
For when you let me in then I wanna go out
I'm always on the wrong side of ever door
As soon as I get home then I like to get about
I like to lie in a bureau drawer
But I make such a fuss if I can't get out
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any use for you to doubt it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anyting about it
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
If you offer me fish then I always want a feast
And if there isn't any fish then I won't eat a rabbit
If you offer me cream then I sniff and sneer
For I only really like what I find for myself....no
So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle
So I leap on you lap in the middle of your sewing
'Cause there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it