Troy: I�m just gonna use your bathroom. Me: No pooping. Troy: Oh, I don�t poop. Monique: Yeah, Troy shits gold.
~~~~~
Kelle: I put it in the outside pocket cuz there�s tampons in there and Fulvio knows it, so he wouldn�t go in there.
~~~~~
(About the nun in the cafeteria) Me: I almost ate with one Thursday. Shan: The same one? Me: Yeah, the white head.
~~~~~
(On how she thinks her brother is great) Shan: I kinda wish incest was okay.
~~~~~
Me: I have so much to do, I feel like I�m up shit�s creek without a paddle. Actually I�m probably just drowning in it. Shan: In shit�s creek, ew, that�s gross!
~~~~~
(Dr. Holt has just told us about the 3 major projects, plus regular work, she wants from us in the next week) Me: I don't want to be a conductor this badly. Monique: I don't want to graduate college this badly. I could be happy as a homemaker. Me: I just want to be barefoot and pregnant.
~~~~~
iDoWhatiCandan: have a good break k-polisj iDoWhatiCandan: im not gonna correct that typo, cuz all polish names just look like big long typoes anyway
~~~~~
PrettynPink9825: lura i 'm durnkm PrettynPink9825: so i wnat ed to im yoiu PrettynPink9825: since i neve do DefyGravity0925: haha yay! DefyGravity0925: thanks!! :-D PrettynPink9825: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!klad;kjgasdga PrettynPink9825: ll PrettynPink9825: alreight PrettynPink9825: goodite!
~~~~~
Kim: Don�t listen to Manny, he�s drunk. Manny: I am not, I am a prophet!
~~~~~
ThomBryda: ugh, we hate men. DefyGravity0925: i really try not to, but they always seem to fuck me over lol DefyGravity0925: i haven't heard from [him] ThomBryda: god, youre getting so fucked and youre still a virgin
~~~~~
RI Music Teacher: Unified Arts�ha! Unified Farts!
~~~~~
Scott Schuler: Dubya once said �Rarely is the question asked �Is our children learning?�� He�s absolutely right, I�ve never heard anyone else say that.
~~~~~
Scott Schuler: If your student sells drugs, he�s probably keeping track on Excel.
~~~~~
Me: Who knew groundhogs were so fat? Shannon: No shit he�s such a fatass. He sits in a hole all year and gets one day of action. He used to be a squirrel.
~~~~~
Shannon: Look at his last girlfriend, tits on a fucking stick.
~~~~~
(On the bra sizes of our room) Shan: 506 B, ha! More like 506 D!!
~~~~~
(Discussing the different types of stuffed animal viruses) Me: Oh! I really hope you get the Clap!
~~~~~
My mom: coming down like cats and dogs and still snowing in delaware so this baby aint over yet
~~~~~
TiggerJag1: :-D <==== excited about seeing you tomorrow DefyGravity0925: :-D<===uber excited TiggerJag1: why you gotta beat me DefyGravity0925: cuz you're a minority and thats what us white people do to minorities DefyGravity0925: beat them TiggerJag1: ooh zing! TiggerJag1: laura---1
minority--0
~~~~~
Me: Oh, hang on a sec. I think it�s his [Tchaikovsky] piano concerto. Shannon: What is it in? Me: Bb minor. (Pause) Shannon: I meant what movie.
~~~~~
Shannon: Motherfuck. Me: Ew. Shannon: No, you, you�ll be a mom who fucks. Me: Well, I hope to fuck before I�m a mom. (Pause) Me: Well, I guess I�d have to.
~~~~~
BCKaT03: bueno BCKaT03: buenA BCKaT03: eeks i don't like making silly grammatical mistakes when i talk here b/c i feel like they're laughing at me on the inside like i do when the chinese delivery people try to speak English
~~~~~
My mom: hello sweetie..teach me to Salsa this weekend? maybe then I will meet a nice dark latino! ;-)
~~~~~
TiggerJag1: laura if you don't do your work im gonna live up to my minority status and beat your ass
~~~~~
thombryda: i never realized that live could be pronounced two different ways. thombryda: like live and live DefyGravity0925: are you serious? thombryda: lmao DefyGravity0925: dont make me hurt you lol thombryda: like thombryda: i want to live thombryda: and thombryda: we're live on the air DefyGravity0925: you HAVE to be kidding me
~~~~~
(After George Mason beat UCONN) Auto response from DefyGravity0925: Who the hell is George Mason?!?! What just happened?!?! This is insanity. ElScorcho459: george mason university??? or like... relative to w.b.? oh laura k i hope you and your masons find some peace and resolve someday
~~~~~
Krystle�s voicemail: i'm at the wild onion singing karaoke, i wanted to give you a call, cuz i never drunk dial you and you really wanted me to...and I�m leaving you a message�and i'm upset cuz you aren't there to pick up the phone so call me later but happy birthday to me, i'm 21! (A chorus of �Wooo!� in the background), call me later, love you, MUAH!
~~~~~
Hot guy on TV: Kiss my ass! Shannon: Bend over and show me where to sign!!
~~~~~
Missy: Foreplay?! Is that what you call it?
~~~~~
(Singing Ricky Martin�s �Shake Your Bon-Bon�) Emily: I�m your desperado. Annie: I�m from Colorado.
~~~~~
Me: Balls. Missy: Oh whoa, his balls were soooo small!
~~~~~
Me: I need a big spoon with a penis. I need a spork!
~~~~~
Annie N.: Seriously, black people are bad drivers. I think it�s just because they haven�t been driving as long. Me: As a culture?
~~~~~
Keefe: Back in high school, girls used to be like, �you�re so handsome!� And I�d be like, �Thanks�You�re fat, but thanks.�
~~~~~
TiggerJag1: i mean if the building is going to burn down i at least want you guys to know why im not responding to your IMs haha
~~~~~
Shannie85: I have a poem for you
hey poophead
you should go to bed
the end
~~~~~
(On his new iPod) Tom:
i had a real debate on getting black or white. i decided. i get a lot of black. and black doesnt always go with everything. and white usually goes with anything. good for all seasons. so i was like, ugh. the black is just HAUT but the white just screams "i go with everything" and sometimes white is classier than black...can you tell i have a lot of free time?
~~~~~
Dr. Kelton (to Mcnamara, who is wearing sunglasses): You fooled me, the movie star thing!
~~~~~
JazMc5: im so excited for your recital JazMc5: i get to just have laura for 60 minutes of my life in full force JazMc5: its like my musical wet dream
~~~~~
Elderly man (as I jog past him): You're speeding again! You're gonna get a ticket.
~~~~~
Kyle: im not going to do that because im not gymnastically abilitated.
~~~~~
DefyGravity0925: tell me i should get up and go running tomorrow so i
dont like look a sausage in my recital dress ThomBryda: get up tomorrow and run so that you'll attract the men that
will be real men and treat you the way you're supposed to.
how bout that?
~~~~~
JazMc5: theyre very close to the rhythm of my soul, dotted quarter dotted
quarter quarter DefyGravity0925: haha you're a tool JazMc5: no im a measure JazMc5: HHAHAHA
~~~~~
Monique (on the phone): Hi Dad! Are you at home?........Oh, how�s Texas?!?!
~~~~~
Laura D.: I feel like...learning...is just...boring.
