Love

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Blood Stained Sneakers
Can You Hear Me?
Failure Through Time
Gather Me Up
Happy Hatefulness
I Can't Keep Hurting...You
I'll Break You
Insanity
Intoxication
Let Me
Mental Purgatory
My Cancer
My Song...
Never Never Land
On Thorns And Neatly Wrapped Packages
Sacrifice
Sailing On Dreams
Spare Me The Hangover
The Me I Am
The Song Unsung
You Are My Poison
©
Back Up Blood Stained Sneakers Mouth to mouth Skin to skin Show me where I should be You're just a little bit of thunder That follows me through the night After I have broken And cried out to the sky This is what happens When we become one, Bleeding like a winter rose Time is a weapon My skin, A shallow wall Your blood has yet to penetrate My heart has four empty rooms Three wait for lightning And one waits for you In the shadows of the night Quarter till freedom Cats cry on their deathbed While they bathe in wine The pain The pleasure The blood My shoes cry in agony They have walked too many miles Let me rest again I need to live to see The next time We become one Light me on fire The stars weep for me © Back Up Can You Hear Me? Living the life Living the dream Dream of a new life Dream of me Dream to kill Kill to dream It don't make a damn If you kill at all Would you kill yourself for me? Maybe you would But to steal a demons soul Is to eat from the dead mans bowl The one you stole Damn this life Damn the man Damn all that is good Damn Is there anybody in there Can you f*cking hear me Scream for your life Scream for the pain The pain that is loved Put away your pride Lay awake in bed Think of what you've done Ride the rollercoaster Ride it hard Don't it feel good Yeah A sadness is set The sadness is felt It felt you up And you loved it so So what The open sores are felt They agonizing torment Reluctant to leave Ready to cum Ah It feels good If love was an option I'd kill all remnants of its presents And love the one I kill I kill you I kill you I loved you Damn © Back Up Failure Through Time The streets of my memories Are not paved with sainthood... Instead they are cluttered With the souls of would-be saints. For the gods have failed us Or perhaps they no longer have the power to help or care For they leave us here to suffer in pain... And rot and die. Forgiveness is empty... Guilt is irrelevant. For nothing we have ever done, are doing, or ever will do... Will matter when we finally die. I have lost all hope... my dreams are gone. All I ever wanted was to love you... Now my soul is broken. © Back Up Gather Me Up gather me up and feed of my pain, i burn through your hellish fate, the tears that prolong my suffering leave nothing but the ashes that colour my hate. the song of cowards echoes through the endless plain, the plain that once filled my dreams and the coward ive became, endless the storyline, cruel, naked and blood stained. as the cup of life overflows my soul devours the putrid remains, hopeless, alone and condemned to forever cry in vain. © Back Up Happy Hatefulness Ya got your evil ways, ya sick and twissed evil ways. Ya happy hatefulness, take a piss, slit your wrist, break from this, end with a kiss! Sappy sucker, mother f*cker, ya happy hatefulness! Just a normal pain, a kinda strain on ya brain. Happy hatefulness, blissfulness, darkness, my personal happy hatefulness... happyness for my happy hatefulness! Stupidness for the crazist of my happy hatefulness. The evil things, all kinds of evil things... cuts sting when ya bring these evil things, my happy hatefulness!!! Love the evil, hate the people... for my happy hatefulness... HAPPY HATEFULNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! © Back Up I Can't Keep Hurting...You I can't give you what you need I am not what I let you see I can't unearth the growing seed The pain that flows inside of me I can't show you what I want to show I'm so confined within my skin I can't tell you what you need to know There's no one here I can confide in I can't explain my violent actions I am holding in so much I'll always have that enraged reaction To your forceful touch I can't be what you want me to be I'm chained down by my spite I can't control the animosity Of hurting you at first sight I can't be trusted not to hurt you I wish there was way I can't imagine the things I'll do Or the things I'll say I can't feel what you want me to feel I'm numb to everything I can't be there to help you heal I just aid in your suffering I can't show my tears for you Even though I'm crying They erased the line I drew And the pain is unjustifying I can't keep you from leaving And I'm not going to try Go now before you begin believing My 'I'll never hurt you' lie. © Back Up I'll Break You Silence No one to bother me Silence No one to drive me insane Forever Through eternity I cry Forever To the end of time Silence My forgotten voice Silence Not a single noise Forgotten My soul, my being Forgotten My friendships, my life Til the end Your soul I'll bend Try to take me Try to make me Silence... Forever... Break the silence And I'll break you © Back Up Insanity In the evil love of his,i am haunted,for he is my home ,my shelter. I fear my life.i seek the light of hope in the shadow of a fading sun,i seek the passage through the absolute safety. An unborn baby seeking life through the wall of his prison. A tear drop,a bless,a cry for help drowning in the sea of monstrocity A dream;no a nightmare frightening the wisest on earth. Where's freedom?for i can't see the way clearly. A cut deep in the soul which can't be touched.a cut not by a knife but by.... A flower not anymore shal seek the sun. A kiss that scracheses the heart & fill it with joy & grief. Music that haunts the listeners & make them unable to be again. A sky but not blue, dark as it is not the sky but a wing enfoulding the all A cigarette burning at the end of the table.what the fuck is that?? It's a phone call from an unspoken tongue, no words can be heard but the chains of course can be felt. Waitting for the rain the innocent guard ,but yet waitting like a fool,waitting for a touch from heaven under an apple tree but all he gets is the shit of the birds. A harmful kiss that sucks everything you have. A perception that is real. A dead looking for the waves to get higher so he can surf. A fish in a bowl that seek the side of her mothers' tenderness. A warm pillow in a cold night;still the cigarette burning.is it my life? I;ia all what i think i am & not.the one seeking the light & yet enjoying the shadow. who defined hope & wish?tell him i'm looking for him by the beach,i'll stay there for he can come to me. & yet still the cigarette burning,I WONDER WHEN IT WILL STOP.. © Back Up Intoxication Wanting, needing hoping to be poisoned by you and your intoxication. Mind spining, world stoping all because of you. I have become the one thing I hated. I have fallen in love with you. Can't you see, can't you see? Look into my pale brown eyes, see the love, and feel it when I touch your face. So perfect that face. Those steel gray eyes that turn colours in seconds, hide so much hurt, and a full mouth that refuses to tell me it's souls secrets. That smile, hides secrets too. Years of malice packed on with abuse, and neglect from former loves, that all left you broken in more ways than one. I would say them, those words I have always hated, but your not ready... I can tell in your heart. That fragile beating heart, that is still stiched up from the last stab and the last bitter sweet love. That left you hurt, and pining for something you can no longer feel. But I feel it from you, But you don't love me, at least you won't admit it. The fear of being hurt again is too much I know. I've been there done that, and still hate it so much. The shards of your hurt reflect in the pain of your eyes. But I still love you, and this you won't know yet. © Back Up Let Me Let me kiss you with these blood stained lips. I just want to feel your warmth again. Let me want you, and try not to hurt you. I can feel it coming over me again. I need to release this pain inside, But you always run and hide. I love you, and this you don't know. It's too much for me to take. Your never there when I need you. Take my hand, and do it again. You know you want to use me so go on and do it. Everyone else does, why should you care? Now you stopped, why? The high is kicking in, I can't feel anything. Just let me... © Back Up Mental Purgatory No space around me Numbing thoughts Trapping me again Swallowed up whole. Shimmers of pain and confusion Heart is growing cold. Believe my lies Abandoned by sanity. Rejected by God Left to stand in the shadows Soul searching for peace But only finding war. Wrists dripping with blood As I watch it fall It obliterates my life Still trapped alone and caged. Noises begin to fade A glimmer of hatred Here in my heartI am just a child.You broke me in vain Life falling apart at the seams Everything going black The pain was unbearable Insignificant for you to see Fall through the glass Feelings of despair Drinking to stop the tears I'm left alone To face all my fears In this steel dirty cage I cry blood red tears. © Back Up My Cancer my cancer is life it takes all i have It took my happiness and my hope i loved then loss he knows i love him but cant be with me i belive in a god but theres no devil though hell is were i belong i cant get there i looked but none is like him i wish to be with him but im scarred to ask for i need not another heart broke i need to die but cant cigs and vodka is all i have left but im only 17 it's not right i need my youth i grew up to fast this is my cancer its my life © Back Up My Song... And I give it all away To have someone to hold onto. silent tears greeted with a silent home laced with sorrow and regret. It's all so clear isolated beyond repair this is me alone again this is all I need did you regret what you saw? the love for you in my eyes. This is all so clear. And I give it all away To have someone to hold onto. Empty bed welcomes the lonely and shattered heart. Covers smother the body, and the tears, to cover up the insecurity and broken heart. Shame is the land where my thoughts lay to sleep And I give it all away To have someone to hold onto. And I give it all away To have someone to hold onto. © Back Up Never Never Land Wasting Never Never Land Hiding you away Nothing to say No things we've said No words you've read Impulse arguments Cracking last sentiment To a place that we came so nearAll fell short tainted with fear Wasting Never Never Land Wasting Never Never Land Only sitting when we struggle to stand Wasting Never Never Land Always trained in the way you thought We were stained from the way we were taught Rocky mountain dreaming Cos all childhoods misleading Given blueprints in all my love Burning them and turning to aboveAnd we're wasting Never Never Land The future slips from our vasolined hands Wasting Never Never Land © Back Up On Thorns And Neatly Wrapped Packages I wish I could be this package all neatly wrapped with fancy paper and ribbons just waiting for your arrival. But I'm not that; That's not me. And I'll make no apologies on my behalf for this deteriorating condition- this shabby job of wrapping that I use to hide myself. I cast no blame on the fates that befell me. I am what I am. I made do and made myself. I am a rose and the complex sweetness of my true nature can only be revealed after the thorns have pierced your tender hands. © Back Up Sacrifice With a lot of feeling not too much pain I sacrifice myself again over and over I try not to care sometimes inside I feel like a time bomb waiting for you to set me off you did it again you'll do it again inside is where I sacrifice myself with a lot of emotion yet feeling nothing at all I keep to myself and wait for you in the shadows held you back that's what you said i had done when you know its not true I'm starving while you drink of the blood taste of the flesh crushing me I sacrifice myself again with lots of passion yet feeling no emotion you're pushing me you're breaking me you're laughing at me so you sit there, grinning at me thinking you're so damn cool and all I can do is sacrifice myself again and I do it all for you © Back Up Sailing On Dreams I searched long, and I struggled endlessly for a dream. The dream seemed impossible, so far away... unreachable. At times I thought I'd never find it. But it arrived suddenly. And it was far better than I could have ever imagined-- only it was not what I'd expected. For how was I to know that I'd find my dream in you? The dream is not about fame or fortune, and it's not about power or success; the dream arrived via the heart, built out of emotion and borne of love. The dream is as pure as a dove circling heaven, and it's blessed by legions of angels; it's an awakening of the soul, bringing me closer to God, and making me see the goodness in all things. Now I feel complete at last, and through the strength you've given me, I feel as if I can accomplish anything. Now I'm sailing on these dreams of you. There's nothing in life that I'd rather do, than dedicate my heart and soul to a lifetime of loving you. © Back Up "Spare Me The Hangover If I were anything but me, I'd be a drink served on ice. Absinthe with a splash of cyanide. Serve me in a white boot. I'll bat my eyeslashes, and use my hands on you. How I seduce you... oh, spare you the lines. If you were anything but you, you'd be my chaser. Serve you in a brandy glass. Our flavors would mingle and make nice and I would make the first pass. How you intoxicate me... oh, spare me the hangover. © Back Up The Me I Am Take my hand, And tell me i am someone, Tell me i am something. Hold me and say that i'm not nothing, That i'm not empty, But i know that i am. I don't own some complicated mind, With thoughts beneathe thoughts, And sense within confusion. I don't have hidden meanings, Or ambition, Or longing. I dont yearn for the impossible. I just Am. And i hate the me i am. Sometimes, I like to dream. I like to pretend that i have purpose, That i am someone, Something, That i'm not empty. But then i wake, And i'm still me. I'm still nothing. © Back Up The Song Unsung I walk along a path of darkness Up ahead I see a light A figure steps out, I can see it My angel is waiting for me My beautiful whore, so deadly and sweet A lovely rose covered in thorns I plant a kiss, on her stone cold lips Her numbness awakens my arousel She is the one light In my world of darkness Yet her light does little To the black abyss surrounding me I know I can't be saved But maybe she can From the wrath of my nature And the ties I am bound to Vardoulacha I am in a cold dark cell The persecutors put me in A prisoner of their ignorance A prisoner of their sin I am damned as a heretic By their stinking, filthy Church But they shall feel my wrath, you see After my rebirth I break the chains that hold me Escape from my dungeon cell Hunt them down in the dead of night And make them feel my hell The Enemies, they shall surely pay As I conjour up their deepest fears When the hunters become the Hunted My victims will pay dear I am their fears, I am their evil Come with me child, and you shall see The world that I have shown © Back Up You Are My Poison You are my falling rain You are the navigator of my pain You are my prince of darkness You are my source of blackness You are my one obsession You are the cause of my deep possession You are my candle in the night You are my blinded eyes only sight Your are the storm within my soul You are the void that will never be whole You are my fire burning You are my broken heart yearning You are the only thought I think You are the poison I will drink. . . © 1
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