1.When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, officer? There's no blood in my alcohol? 2.When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3.When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4.If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer doesn't go that high. 5.Touch him. 6.When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat. 7.Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 8.Refer to him by his first name. 9.If you are a guy, pretend you are gay and ask him out. 10.When he says no, cry. 11.If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harrasment. 12.If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 13.If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood. 14.When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way. 15.When he puts handcuffs on, say, "Usually my dates buy me dinner first." 16.Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, because you don't like the ink on your fingers. 17.After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say, "Oops! That's the wrong name." 18.Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees tell him, "Sorry, I ate the last one." 19.When he comes up to the car, say "Liscense and registration, please," right when he says it. 20.When he goes to read you your rights, sing La la la, I can't hear you! 21.Trip and fall into him. 22.Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away. 23.Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to use his pen. 24. Chew the pen nervously. 25.Clean your ear with the pen. 26.If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring. 27.Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say, "I thought your name sounded familiar....." 28.Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was. 29. Act like you are lobotomized. 30.When he is telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly. 31.Or mumble to yourself. 32.When he tells you to stop, say, "What are you talking about, DUDE?" 33.Offer to drive him to Dunkin' Donuts. 34. Ask him if they know how to make the donuts. 35.When he comes to the car, say, "I have a badge just like yours!" 36.Ask if he watches "Cops". 37.Ask if he ever watched "Cop Rock". 38.Giggle if he did. 39. Talk to your hand. 40.Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and his Five Favorite Friends. 41.Accuse him of sexual harrasment if he does. 42.When he frisks you, say, "You missed a spot" and grin. 43.When he asks to inspect your car, say, "There is no alcohol in the car. The last cop got it. 44.Try to sell him your car. 45.Ask if you can buy his car. 46.If he takes you to the station, ask to sit in front. 47.Play with the siren. 48.If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner. 49.If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. 50.Oops....I meant OVER for dinner. 51.Ask him what those pretty lights on top of his car are for. 52.Point at him and giggle. 53.If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in pig latin. 54.When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh. 55.When you are in the back, tap on his neck through the fencing. 56.Turn your head and whistle. 57.When he pulls out his night stick, say, "What you gonna do with that?" 58.If you are female, say, "I don't do that on the first date". 59.If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine. 60.Ask if you can see his gun. 61.When he says you aren't allowed, tell him, "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger." 62.Stare at the lights and say,"Ooh, look at the pretty colors!!!!" 63.Tell him you like men in uniform. 64.Ask the cop if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party. |
| 64 Ways to Annoy a Cop |
| Or you could stroke his arm and comment on his muscles (or lack of them) |
| Or when he pulls you over, refer to him as "Daddy" or "Master P" |
| Or don't say any words, just radom numbers and letters. |
| Or when you step out of the car and put your hands on the hood, swing your butt around with an "attitude" |