CAPSULE FILM REVIEWS BY TONY PORCO (ISSUE 2)

THE WEDDING BANQUET (Taiwanese-American). A young, gay man who recently emigrated from Taiwan to the States has a tenant from mainland China who needs a Green Card to stay in the US. He also has parents who are absolutely on his back to get married and start producing grandchildren as early as possible. When the parents arrive in the States for a surprise visit, his lover has what may turn out to be the perfect solution: a fake marriage to the tenant! As you might expect, because this is a movie, not everything goes according to plan, and a side-splitting romantic-comedy ensues. The irony, of course, is that the only thing making this movie different from a multitude of earlier Hollywood movies of the same genre--the only thing making it a really big deal--is the principal couple just happening to both be men. If you can put that aside (and I think many of us can, in this day and age), you'll really enjoy it. If I had to pick a favorite character, it would be the Taiwanese father, a World War II veteran with an interesting past and a few surprises up his sleeve.

DANGEROUS MINDS: A young, recent divorcee returning to the job market wants to do her student teaching at a tough Palo Alto high school. Instead, she ends up hired, and facing a class full of the rowdiest kids from that or any other school, euphemistically referred to as "the Academy" (she aptly describes them, after being introduced, as "rejects from Hell," but we know better, because this is a movie). This implausible beginning, thankfully, is saved by the film that comes after it; Michelle Pfeiffer carries off the lead role better than I expected, and the students pass the critical test of believability. New director John Smith keeps us rooting for the kids as Pfeiffer tries a host of unorthodox teaching methods on them and as she predictably encounters resistance from the school bureaucracy (one of whom, the actor playing the principal/chief bad guy, does possibly the worst acting job I have ever seen in a major motion picture that wasn't directed by Amy Heckerling). One more nitpick before I move on to the next movie: I've never seen any high school kids, or normal human beings of any age, who have enough energy to dance and jump rope voluntarily at eight o'clock on a weekday morning.

APOLLO 13: One of the strange ironies of recent history is that of all the NASA missions into space, including 7 ones to the Moon, the one that is perhaps best for a movie was the Apollo 13 mission, known to historians as a "successful failure" (a failure because mechanical malfunction prevented the astronauts from landing on the moon, yet a success because the astronauts got home alive when their survival was in jeopardy). Why? Because, as the characters themselves learn in the movie, people are much more interested in the harrowing and the unexpected than in the routine and well-done. Using this logic, the filmmakers did what many have done before them: turn a frightening real-life experience into a riveting movie. Tom Hanks (as mission leader Robert Lovell) and Gary Sinise (as a crew member) both manage to bring off very challenging acting assignments, much as they did in Forrest Gump; director Ron Howard and the photographers keep us reeling in space with them and caused me to get almost claustrophobic with their simulation of the tight confines of an Apollo command module. Meanwhile, the NASA Phd geeks in Houston who labor intensely to save the crew's lives virtually steal the show, making it almost a sequel to "Revenge of the Nerds!" (If you don't believe me, ask yourself this: When was the last time you saw a slide rule being used in an adventure film?) Are there any major flaws? Only in the beginning, when there are one too many premonitions that something is going to go wrong (from the number 13 to Lovell's wife's uneasiness to a car stalling--I wanted to yell out, "We get the point!"). Also, the usual annoying Hollywood string soundtrack music ruins a subtle, challenging scene with Hanks and his son. Definitely see it, and preferably on a big screen if you can!

THE INCREDIBLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF TWO GIRLS IN LOVE: A teenage first-love film much like a thousand others, unique only in that it happens to be two young women--one definitely a lesbian and the other uncertain, one black and one white, one rich and one poor. The grandiose title says it all; the two young ones deal with their budding romance (and its associated awkwardness), their parents, their school tensions, their nervousness about the future and about being gay, and everything else in their small world as though their story were some kind of universal epic. It works because, unexpectedly, enough of it is familiar, even to us straights, to resemble just such an epic (much like "Wedding Banquet," reviewed above). All this would have been near-impossible without good leads; fortunately, Nicole Parker and Laura Holloman are nearly perfectly cast, and first-time director Maria Maggenti did a decent job with the rest. I wish I could tell you that all this leads up to a terrific climax (come to think of it, I always wish I could say that!), but unfortunately the ending is really lame and does a disservice to the hour-and-a-half of terrific "adventures" that come before it.

SPANKING THE MONKEY: No, this is not a porno film; for one thing, even the most perverted porn film would probably not have a plot like this! A young medical student in his 20's lands a prestigious internship in Washington, but has to delay his departure because his ever-traveling father forces him to stay at the homestead in upstate New York and take care of his mother, who is recuperating after a broken leg. After considerable trials, the mother and the son, uh, well, um...Well, I'll just say "see it" instead of giving away the plot. I can tell you that it's actually quite a good movie about people who have long ago failed to communicate, and are just going through the motions of it now. While some of what goes on are things of which I would not approve, that's as true of Lawrence of Arabia as it is for this movie. (There; I hope I intrigued you enough to see it...)

ON TAPE:

THE SILK ROAD (Japanese): This series, shown originally on PBS in this country, was actually produced by NHK, the Japanese equivalent of our Corporation for Public Broadcasting. NHK sent a film crew, scientists, historians and guides on a journey across rural China on what used to be the route of the "Silk Road," the route that Marco Polo and other travellers used to reach the great civilization from points West. The result, 10 years in the making, was the most expensive documentary ever made--and one of the most amazing things you will ever see on your television. I simply cannot recommend it highly enough. There are a total of six episodes; the two that I saw recently are the second, "1000 Miles Beyond the Yellow River," and the fourth, "Art Gallery in the Desert." (While it is definitely worth it to see all six installments, you are not doing great violence to the series if you see only one or two of them, or do not see them in order.) "Yellow River," as the name implies, starts at the legendary Yangtze and proceeds inland from there. Included is a beautiful cavern on the river accessible only by boat, which contains huge, thousand-year-old carvings of the Buddha; the giant waterwheels used to collect Yangtze water for irrigation; and, near the end, visits with some of the indigenous cultures living in the highlands West of the river. (One unintentionally funny touch is that almost everywhere we go, including the river caves, we seem to be the first Westerners to go there in a century or at all.) "Art Gallery" centers on a particular site--the caves of Dun Huan in the Gobi desert, filled to overflowing with wall paintings and carvings of spectacular Buddhist art, ancient but preserved by the dry climate. My only complaint with the series is a technical one--the English narration is not mixed well with the rest of the soundtrack; sometimes it is much too loud, while at other times it is drowned out by the music or by sound effects. (Speaking of the music, the score by Kitaro is another of the series' great assets.) See it!

FORREST GUMP: I have always thought that Tom Hanks, while good, was a bit overrated. I came away from this movie thinking that I may have underestimated him--that in this case, it was not his acting, but this film, which was overrated. Most of you know the plot--Gump is a baby boomer kid without much happening upstairs, growing up in a small town in Alabama. As his life unfolds, he works hard, sees the inherent good in people, and finds himself a lucky bit player in almost every major historical event of the last 40 years. The premise of the film: because he is (at least seemingly) a simpleton, he sees life completely without guile or cynicism, unlike the rest of us. The problem for me was that he was so guileless and so simple and hard-working that I did not find myself involved in his life much, or cheering his good fortunes. Hanks brings off a challenging role quite well, but I found that he just couldn't keep my interest for such a long film. I was much more interested in Gary Sinise, who does just as good a job as "Lieutenant Dan," Gump's worldly Vietnam superior and compatriot after the war.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: Remember those annoying people in your high school English class, the ones who used to whine incessantly about being forced to read Shakespeare and about how dreadfully boring it was? This is the movie to shove in their faces--a highly intelligent yet vibrant interpretation of a play that must be one of the Bard's very best. Kenneth Branagh really knows what he's doing--well enough that he gets away with casting himself as the male lead, Benedick, and putting his wife Emma Thompson opposite him as Beatrice (and by the way, Thompson looks terrific with a suntan, which was all I could think about for the first half-hour or so). Robert Sean Leonard (remember him from Dead Poets Society?), the ever-reliable Denzel Washington, and Kate Beckinsale are all almost perfectly cast in supporting roles. Only a few complaints come out of all this--Michael Keaton and Keanu Reeves are both credible in their parts, but you get tired of them after a while (and no, it's not an Americans-can't-do-Shakespeare thing, because Washington can certainly cut it). Also, it's too bad that the charming British character actress Imelda Staunton (who did such a great job in Antonia and Jane) has a role without any lines.

So that's it for another issue. By the way, for those of you who have a really perverse sense of humor and aren't offended easily, I'd recommend Film Threat magazine, which bills itself, aptly, as "Hollywood's Voice of Treason."

COMING IN FUTURE ISSUES: --Now, almost 45 years after his presidency, everyone thinks that Harry Truman was a great and courageous leader, an average guy who just said it like it was and got into those scary corridors of power where us other average guys fear to tread. Back then, things were a bit different--for one thing, almost everyone hated his guts. I'm looking forward to seeing how historically accurate HBO's film is--although, to be honest, I can't imagine ever hating Gary Sinise's guts...Also, I'll be cleaning out the closets by finishing up belated reviews of movies that I saw in the theater but are now coming out on video ("Strawberry and Chocolate" and "Circle of Friends"), pontificating on the virtues of Fellini, and introducing a new column...