Hey, folks--this is undoubtedly the last issue before my son/daughter is born, but as I mentioned before, I am still planning on doing the newsletter, if less frequently. (Jill and I are certainly planning on continuing to watch movies, and we are already working on lining up a sitter!) I know that there are several much-anticipated films out now that people have been asking me to rate (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Ali) and Jill and I are still hoping to make it to at least one of them, but as of this writing, we haven't had the time just yet, which bodes ill for the promise I just made. I have been diligent about updating the "unreviewed" page, which is viewable at http://home.earthlink.net/~porcos/unreviewed.htm. On another positive note, I discovered that the obscure film Spiral Jetty (about artist Robert Smithson's huge earth work of the same name), which I reviewed for the January 2000 issue, isn't quite as obscure as I thought it was--it can actually be downloaded from the web page of the gallery that represents him! (If anyone wants to do so, the movie is at http://www.robertsmithson.com/films/films.htm. You need Quicktime software to watch it, but the site has instructions on how to get a copy.) All that ado aside, let's get to the heart of the newsletter.....
 

ON SCREEN:
 

SHALLOW HAL: A very superficial young man, the eponymous Hal (Jack Black), never seems to get anywhere with women, who are all too aware of his habit of judging them only by their bodies. One day, his luck changes after he is hypnotized by self-help guru Tony Robbins (Tony Robbins, who is really funny). Unbeknownst to Hal, everyone he sees in this altered state appears attractive--or unattractive--based on the goodness (or lack thereof) in their personalities. It doesn't take him long to meet a clever, caring, altrustic, and sweet woman (Gwyneth Paltrow) and fall in love, not realizing that he is the only person who doesn't know she weighs three hundred pounds. It's a clever premise with a lot of potential, but the filmmakers and the star seem determined to waste it. The script wants us to root for Paltrow's character, but also hypocritically insists on using her (and every other available large person) for an endless train of fat jokes that strain credibility, taste, and basic laws of physics. Black, meanwhile, seems to forget that he's acting and not doing standup comedy, and spends too much of the movie doing and saying things that he thinks are funny but aren't (at least he's as clueless as his character). There are some moments of really good acting--Paltrow captures the awkwardness of her character's situation, and Jason Alexander (playing Hal's equally tiresome best friend) gets a few laughs, even though he's really just playing George Costanza all over again. I'm told that the Farrelly brothers, who also directed Dumb and Dumber and There's Something About Mary, specialize in gross-out slapstick. Why on Earth they were given this premise, which requires a bit of sensitivity and (what a radical concept!) the occasional bit of subtle humor, is beyond me. Paltrow's characterization, and the sweetness of her best scenes, make this almost worth watching--but not quite. (I should mention that I really liked the ending credits, which include stills of every crew member and an oddball coda reminiscent of Ferris Bueller's Day Off; these are clever ideas that really deserve a better use. If you want a much better and funnier movie with the same judge-people-by-their-characters-not-their-appearances theme, I would recommend Shrek.) RATING: 3.
 

GALAPAGOS: I have to admit that I'm something of a sucker for nature films. Yes, I know that there is a lot of cheesiness and triteness associated with the genre (summed up by Time magazine art critic Robert Hughes as "bugs f---ing to Mozart"), but I still find them fun and even artful at their best. The IMAX 3-D film Galapagos is both things at once. It tries to replicate the excitement Charles Darwin must have felt discovering the isolated Ecuadorean islands that would form part of the foundation of his theory of evolution. It also succeeds, because the cinematographers capture the drama of what they are shooting, and because the 3-D technology is used almost perfectly. There's just something about a lizard bracing himself as a breaking wave crashes on the rocks, or a school of fish parting hurriedly to reveal hammerhead sharks directly behind them--especially when the sharks and lizards look like they're a foot or two in front of your face. (An underwater sequence in a large glass diving bell is the only scene that seriously strains the technical capabilities of the 3-D cameras, causing a lot of blurs and harsh lights.) This is easily the best IMAX film I have seen, not least because of the excellent use it makes of that technology, and I recommend it heartily. RATING: 9.
 

ON TAPE:
 

DISAPPEARANCE AT SEA: In August 1968, a young British eccentric named Donald Crowhurst set out alone in a sailboat to win the around-the-world Golden Globe Race. He soon realized that he was too unprepared to win the competition. Instead of returning to shore, however, he deluded the race organizers (and himself) into believing he was in the lead, radioing back false coordinates and assuring them that he was going to win. As the days became weeks, the endlessness and loneliness of the open ocean made Crowhurst ever more detached from reality, and he began to ramble in his journal about meeting God and proving Einstein's theory of relativity. Finally, he killed himself by plunging into the sea, after which his abandoned boat was found. It is a compelling story, but one that is difficult to connect with Tacita Dean's otherwise-outstanding short, Disappearance at Sea. Straightforward in its form, the movie focuses on one object--a lighthouse on a peninsula in England--and follows its steady revolutions as darkness gradually crowds out the setting sun. The optics of the lighthouse are captured perfectly on film. Shifting points of view and changing light facets make something that should be dull--watching a lighthouse spin around and around over and over again--surprisingly arresting, something like looking into a kaleidoscope. Most importantly, the lack of plot and narrative does indeed convey a haunting sense of isolation (although it also conveys a simple feeling of how relaxing it can be to stand next to a lighthouse and watch a sunset from the shore). Nevertheless, I would never have guessed that the movie had anything to do with the madness of being isolated at sea (let alone the specific situation of Donald Crowhurst) if I had not read the program that came with the film. In fact, the best evocation of being alone in the middle of the ocean and going bonkers that I have ever seen actually comes from (of all things) a recent Hollywood film, Cast Away, which I reviewed a few issues ago. I would still recommend seeing this film if anyone gets the chance, due to its astonishing cinematography and mastery of mood. (I saw this movie in a special exhibition at the Hirschhorn art museum in DC; the aforementioned program was my main source of information about Dean. I am going to try to get a copy of the film, in case anyone is interested in seeing it. For more information about the film, and to see stills from it, visit the following web pages: http://www.tate.org.uk/britain/exhibitions/tacitadean/disappear.htm, http://userpages.chorus.net/mac/dean/dean.html, or www.adderley.net/. The latter is apparently the home page of the cinematographer.) RATING: 8.

SHREK: Shrek disappointed me at first, but I found myself enjoying it more and more as time went on. It's a lot of fun because it does what many good parodies do--it makes fun of a certain style of movie (or book, or TV show, or whatever) while simultaneously giving us a solid, likable example of whatever is being made fun of. The story revolves around a (likably) mean ogre named Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers), who suddenly finds his beloved fetid swamp overflowing with fairly-tale characters--gnomes, elves, the three blind mice, and like critters. They're all refugees from the land of the evil lord Farquahad (John Lithgow), who sees them as a threat to his suspiciously Disney-like kingdom. Shrek bargains with Farquahad to get his land back, and agrees to (what else?) rescue a beautiful princess (Cameron Diaz) for the lord to marry. Along the way, he picks up a sidekick, a rather verbose donkey named Donkey (Eddie Murphy). The lead-up to the quest gets kind of tiresome. I found the first half-hour or so of the movie extremely grating (the pop-culture references get overdone at that point). The ending is kind of a turnoff too, but in between, as the actual story unfolded, I found myself rolling my eyes a lot less and laughing a lot more. Myers and Diaz are both well-cast, but the real treat is Murphy, who hasn't been this funny since 48 Hours! (I expected him to expand on the better acting he showed in Boomerang and The Nutty Professor, but not as a cartoon jackass!) In addition, the animation and artwork, especially the matte paintings, are extremely well done, although I didn't find them as lifelike as everyone else. (Personally, I don't ask that animation be lifelike; I just ask that it be good.) Besides the beginning and ending, my largest pet peeve was that, amidst all the clever poking-fun at cartoon cliches, the film stuck fast to one of the most enduring Disney cliches by making Farquahad a menacing little dwarf. If they had made him a strapping, handsome (but evil) gentleman, that would have been really subversive. (By making the ugly Shrek the hero, they've already taken a step in the right direction). Overall, however, this movie is a fun experience for children and adults, and very worth seeing in a theater if the opportunity presents itself again. RATING: 7.

OH, BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?: The only film by eccentric indie filmmakers the Coen brothers that I've ever seen is this one, an odd retelling of Homer's Odyssey set in the American South in the 1930's. George Clooney plays the protagonist, Ulysses Everett Magill (get the name reference?), a charismatic convict leading two others on a jailbreak (Tim Blake Nelson and John Turturro, a Coen brothers favorite). Along the way, they meet Depression-era versions of lotus eaters, Scylla and Charybdis, sirens, and even a cyclops (the brilliant John Goodman), not to mention Ulysses' wife, who of course is named Penny (Holly Hunter). All of this is surprisingly entertaining. Clooney keeps a look of perpetual bemused puzzlement on his face for almost the entire running time of the movie; this is actually far less annoying than it sounds. While Clooney naturally attracts the most attention, Nelson and Turturro bring a lot of understanding to their roles as well. I heartily recommend this movie if you're in the mood for something offbeat, although basic familiarity with the plot of the Odyssey will help you appreciate it. (Mention should be made of the incredible music score, put together by blues guitarist Ry Cooder, which actually provides fodder for some of the movie's funniest moments. Also, Charles Durning is very entertaining as a classic old-style Southern politician.) RATING: 8.