(I had to resist the temptation to call it the "millennium issue..") Well, I hope everyone is enjoying getting back into the thick of work again, now that the holidays are (lamentably) over, giving us less time for the really important things in life, like sitting around and watching movies. That said, we still have the weekend, and with that in mind, I offer this somewhat compressed issue. I'm pleased to announce that my friend Ray Toy has written another review for the newsletter--his take on End of Days appears below (I wrote the other two reviews--yes, I do occasionally write a review myself!)

ON FILM:

END OF DAYS (RT): On The View, Barbara Walters said that she was riveted to her seat when she saw it. Of course, like all of Arnold Schwartzenegger's movies, there are plenty of explosions to satisfy the testosterone-laden. In addition to the pyrotechnics, there is also a concept that could lead to some cerebral entertainment as well. As an example, I can remember discussions about time paradoxes with my friends after seeing the Terminator movies. In this case, the concept is taken from Revelation 20:1-3:

    Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key
    to the bottomless pit and a great chain. He seized the dragon, that ancient
    serpent, who is the Devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and
    threw him into the pit and locked and sealed it over him, so that he would
    deceive the nations no more, until the thousand years were ended. After that
    he must be let out for a little while. (NRSV)

The premise is that every thousand years, Satan has the chance to become free. Since this is the second time that a one thousand year period has ended since the birth of Christ, this is the opportunity for Satan to bust loose. This concept does have the potential to be engaging.

Unfortunately, the story line falls from its own weight and from script writers who did not have the basic knowledge to back up their suppositions. An explanation given for the interpretation of Revelation as a basis for the storyline is that "visions are often seen upside down or backwards." Since the number of the Beast is 666, if you turn it upside down you get 999.

Added with the thousand year window for Satan's great escape, you get the foundation for our movie. The problem is that John of Patmos, the author of Revelation, a first century Greek-speaking Jew living under Roman rule, had no knowledge of Arabic numerals. With that foundation gone, the rest of the structure falls.

However, you do not need to be a biblical scholar to know that something is dreadfully wrong with the plot. Throughout the movie, we see vast organized conspiracies of Satan's earthly followers, counter-planning in the Vatican, organized counter-counter-conspiracies within the Roman Catholic Church, and so on. With all of that infrastructure in place, doesn't a Satanic incarnation seem superfluous? It all seems reminiscent of a Mafia boss conducting business from his jail cell. Who needs to be on the outside?

Of course, before you can actually formulate these questions, some bullets fly or something explodes. It is great fun in that respect. It's only after the dust settles that you realize that the story line did not make any sense, had no logical coherence, and had more holes than substance. After analyzing what little premise of the plot there was, only then do you realize that while you were busy watching things go boom and trying to figure out why, the producers had already picked your pocket.

THE CIDERHOUSE RULES (TDP): Definitions of home, and of family, are raised by Lasse Halstrom's endearing latest movie. The story follows Homer Wells, an orphan in a hospital in rural Maine (played well by Toby McGuire), from his birth to his attempt to make it on his own in young adulthood in World War II-era America. If McGuire and the other actors are good, Michael Caine--playing the orphanage's resident doctor, an even more fascinating and complex character--is astounding. In raising the question of the extent to which Caine's character is Homer's "father" (in every sense of the word but the biological), the film consistently enthralls, rarely settling for the easy way out in its script. There are moments of sentimentality and some cliches, but they are never allowed to overwhelm us (which was a problem with the other Halstrom movie I've seen, My Life As a Dog). The weakest link of the project may be Charlize Therzon, who plays a young woman who becomes Homer's friend. She's very pretty, but her acting is a bit too flat, and her function in the script a bit too predictable. Still, this movie is entirely worth the theatre ticket. (A few parenthetical notes: Caine maintains a fairly convincing New England accent throughout most of this film, which ironically makes him less charming, since his more familiar English accent is one of the most attractive and distinctive things about him. Also of interest is the central role that a current issue--abortion--necessarily plays in this movie. I was impressed with the way that this was handled; while there is little doubt which side of the issue the filmmakers are on, both sides are presented with some fairness and understanding, with the viewpoints rooted in the characters' selves.) RATING: 8 (out of 10).

ON TAPE:

SPIRAL JETTY (TDP): Robert Smithson (1938-73) was an abstract artist who became famous for his "earth" works, in which he arranged (or rearranged!) quantities of earth, stone, or water in geometric shapes. His most famous work was built on the Great Salt Lake in Utah in 1970. Titled the "Spiral Jetty," it is exactly what that name specifies--a jetty (an artificial peninsula of dirt and rock, normally built in a linear shape and intended to minimize the erosion caused by tides) built in an unusual spiral shape. It is an elegant, even beguiling work, seen directly by very few people but known to many through reproductions of aerial photographs. This documentary, which Smithson apparently made himself, shows the construction and final result of the jetty project with compelling, intensely realistic photography. The real-life aspect of this film is joyously palpable; we hear the rumble of the dump trucks as they deposit one load after another into the lake waters, and the beating of the helicopter as it passes over the completed work of art. We can almost smell the salty lake water as it washes against this new shoreline. The problem is that there is precious little information on Smithson--not enough is said about who he was, why he was inspired to do this, and why he did it on this scale, in this place. There is a fair amount of narration (apparently by Smithson himself), but the words are ambiguous and hard to connect with what is happening on the screen, and the speech is difficult to hear amidst the other noises on the soundtrack (the film is otherwise completely successful from a technical point of view). As a result, if you start watching this film knowing nothing about Smithson or this project (which, of course, is the case with most people), you're likely to be simply baffled. If you know even a little about it, however, the fantastic sound and cinematography will grab your attention. The best part may be the self-referential ending, which is the film's cleverest moment. (Earlier scenes shot in a dinosaur museum with black-and-white film tinted red are the most stunning visuals, apparently referring to the forces of natural destruction and renewal that the spiral jetty is generally considered to represent. They lack the touch of humor that the very end has, however.) I would see this movie if you ever get a chance--the best bet is PBS. (For more information about the spiral jetty, and to see a picture of it, visit the web page spiraljetty.org.  This is a part of the site of the Dia Arts Center, a nonprofit foundation which now owns the rights to the jetty.  You can also see short excerpts of the movie by clicking here.)  RATING: 8 (out of 10).

Until next time.... Don't eat too much popcorn (it's overpriced anyway),

Tony Porco