2003-01-27
Undelivered Letter to Andrew
My dearest Andrew-
Well, right now you're probably half way out across the ocean already. Sailing on the massive ship of steel...probably looking at the stars, if I know you. The water must be beautiful. That inky black with the shimmering of the moonlight reflecting off of the rippling waves. Have you fallen in love with it yet as you had threatened? Are you ready to just leave everything behind and commit yourself to the sea?
Or is your mind filled with other things tonight...?
Perhaps you do not think on the beauty and serenity of the water but of the hell that you are entering into. The war.. How terribly contrasting both thoughts must be. You are allowed to sail across that massive expansion of water that you have been in love with all your life...only to meet a horrible place in the end.
Are you afraid...?
I came to see you off and had hoped that I could bid you a final farewell but you were already on deck. Did you see me? I was the one running along the dock in order to keep steady pace with the ship as it pulled out of port... I wanted to memorize the faces of the men that stood waving good-bye to their wives and children.
When they first showed the picture of Osama bin Laden that night of Sept. 11th on television I thought "So...this is the face of a murderer." But as I was watching from the docks as men, with tiny babies in their arms, kissed their young wives good-bye I could not help but think "So...this is the face of a hero."
Why did you have to be a hero, Andrew? We are so young! We haven't even had a good chance at life yet!
Heros have always been something that you see in movies. Men going off to war have always been just that to me...*men*.
But not you...and not the others of you that have already begun to tell me they will leave for war just as soon as high school is over. You're no more than boys! Oh, I know you will be angered to hear me say that, but you know it's true! You went from playing soldier in ROTC to an *actual* soldier on the front!
How is it that we grew up so fast, my friend? Where did our innocence go? When war was something we only read about in the history books..?
Well...I have little left to say.. I am praying for each of you every day. Come home soon, my friend. Jennifer misses you greatly and constantly speaks of how you two are to get married once you return.
Take comfort in the thought that we sleep under the same stars, my friend...and know that whenever I look upon them I will think of you.
