2002-11-16
Undelivered Letter - (To: Unknown)
My dear friend,
I was thinking about you again today, as I often find myself doing despite my attempts not to. Somehow you always manage to creep in. I was just thinking...and wondering.
Where do we go from here? There can only be so much that two people can handle. I love you dearly, but it is not the kind of love that I started out with... It is a tenderness towards a good friend...or maybe even a brother.
My friend, all odds are against us...and I fear that they have been from the beginning. Perhaps I was foolish to allow myself to lose my heart to you. I had thought I had made myself callous and cold against such deep feelings after my last 'love' broke my heart... But somehow you managed to ease your way ever so slowly through the sheilds I had erected around myself...and now I fear I cannot live without your presence close at my side.
So what now? Are you as lost as I am? Do you even have to worry and puzzle over these questions as I do or all along has this been merely a 'friendship-only' relationship to you?
It can't go any further...someone has to draw the line.
Sometimes I am afraid that I do not have the strength to push you away any longer and I find myself not altogether horrified by the thought that I may just give into your charm...
No! No more. This simply must stop. We shall remain as we are now. Merely very good friends...and I am happy for it. I would hate to lose you as my friend...and as I have said, I cannot live without you any longer.
