02-08-03
good grief, i can't believe i'm writing in my journal at 4:00 in the bloody morning! but i fear that if i don't write now then by morning i will have forgotten everything...
::sighs:: i had another dream...
i know ya'll are probably sick of hearing about these crazy dreams but i'm afraid to keep them inside. i have to write them out or i fear i might just go mad with them all pent up inside!
::shakes head:: i know his name now... the name of my ghost. though i must admit that i was slightly disappointed and startled by it...but we'll get to that later.
my dream was one of those vivid dreams again. i can remember everything almost perfectly though some parts of it are still beyond my grasping...
i was in this enormous hotel room. i mean, this thing was as big (if not bigger) as a house and it was decorated in all the finest things you could imagine. i had been invited to this place by a friend of mine and i was forced to bring my brother and sister since we had no parents.
so we are standing there in the middle of this room and there are three men there. now, here's the strange part of it. most of these dreams have taken place back in eighteenth century time period and such...but this was present day!
well, one of the men ( ::eyes widen:: by the Fates...he was the one from the ball! ) looked to the other two men and told them to take my brother and sister away. i lunged at the men as they started to do this, but the other man grabbed me and held me back. i started to break down sobbing, almost screaming "please, don't take them, they're all i have! they're all i have!" But he picked me up and cradled me against him, whispering that they were not all i had.
i was still crying a small amount as he carried me back to the bedroom. for some reason i was completely exhausted like i had been fighting for an incredibly long time. so i allowed him to lay me on the bed and i fell asleep... but when i woke up we were suddenly back in this eighteenth century-like palace. i turned and saw that man still there, now lighting several candles all about the room.
well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he wanted, and i realized this immediately...
so i jumped up from the bed and ran out of the room. opening the closest door that led out into a hallway i ran out of it...and right into the arms of yet another man that tried to catch me but i managed to slip from him and keep running. my foot caught something then and i fell to me knees, once again crying fearfully...
that's when i started crying for "zachariah". (i know, i know, it's not the name i would have picked either but...strangely enough it fits him...) so i'm sitting there practically screaming for zachariah when i felt someone grab my shoulder and turn me around. and of course who should be there but my ghost, zachariah...though he seemed different from my last dream. a bit younger perhaps, though i can't put my finger on the direct difference.
but anyways, i threw myself into his arms and clung to him, feeling that certain feeling i always feel when he's around. i can't really describe it in any way but complete peace and serenity...like i know that just because he's there, that nothing can happen.
then he started calling me his "fallen angel" over and over again while he held me...
i'm trying to remember what happened after that, because there was more... he took me somewhere... it wasn't in the palace, it was somewhere far away... a forest...?
blah, i can't rememeber!
::looks at the clock:: good grief...4:32...maybe i can still get some sleep in before i have to wake up...
::shakes head:: i'll write more in the morning if i remember anything else...
