Please note: this is all in fun, kid, so if you take it seriously and run off crying you'll forever be labled as strange. Wait a moment: that's the whole point. Oh well. Use a pencil and paper to record your answers. I'm technically unadvanced.
1. Which shoes would you like to wear most?
a. one platform heel and one sneaker, with striped socks
b. little velvet slippers
c. big, sturdy combat boots with enough power to crush a skull
2. What would you do at a boring party?
a. slip away and go walk in the park
b. start singing very loudly, offkey, about French underwear
c. tell the hostess she looks like shit
3. If you wrote a book, it would be titled:
a. 'The Dead Men in My Life'
b. 'Wroggley-Froo'
c. you plan to write a great many books, all of them enticingly named
4. Your parents used to say you were an obnoxious kid.
True
False
5. Out of these three, your ideal hairstyle is:
a. bright red spikes, like bloody weapons
b. anything brilliantly weird that causes traffic jams and worries grandmothers
c. long, strange, and beautiful
6. Your favorite way to while away free time:
a. flip the finger at innocent people and listen to loud heavy metal
b. read, write, watch foreign films, or daydream about sad things
c. pretend to be a deranged cat and go around town this way
7. Your friends might say you're a tad:
a. angry and bold
b. strange, to say the least
c. quiet and mysterious
8. What do you wanna be when you grow up?
a. a writer or perhaps a movie maker
b. a heavy metal girl who starts WWIII every weekend
c. an insane actress
9. What's your favorite expression of these three?
a. "Fuck you!"
b. "Do you believe in magic?"
c. "Can't sleep, ducks will eat me . . . "
10. And finally, how would you change yourself?
a. more outgoing
b. less likely to get tossed in jail
c. bigger ears and purple hair, please
SCORING = 1.. a, 2, b, 1, c, 3 2.. a, 1, b, 2, c, 3 3.. a, 3, b, 2, c,1 4.True, 2, False, 1 5.. a, 3, b, 2, c, 1 6.. a, 3, b, 1, c, 2 7.. a, 3, b, 2, c, 1 8.. a, 0, b, 3, c, 2 9.. a, 3, b, 1, c, 2 10.. a, 1, b, 3, c, 2
RESULTS = (9 to 11 points) QUIETLY CREATIVE FREAK
You are an enigma to almost everyone who knows you. Sad, moody, quiet, but sweet and sensitive, you're a freak because you think of things nobody else would and the tears are always ready to drop. Those "normal" people see you as a mysterious, dark-hearted, fragile artist. Your soulmate is Vincent van Gogh.
(12 to 23 points) WILDLY WEIRD FREAK
You've probably been hearing, "FREAK!" all your life, dearie. You can't help it. You're unpredictable, unconventional, and a little unsettling to some people around you. A truly happy misfit. You love to dye your hair with old Kool-Aid or try to get inside the cages at the zoo. Nobody can stop you, you little weirdo chick, but the right kind of person adores you to death. Rock on.
(24 to 29 points) ANGRY VIOLENT FREAK
God, this world sucks! So many weak imbeciles! So many milktoasts and pantywaists! You'd love to burn it all up and start anew, with more black clothing and loud music this time. Admit it - you've had mothers with strollers cross the street as you approach, and security guards tag you all over the mall when you stop by for some new piercings. You're mean and frightening, but your friends love you for it. You tough battle grrl.