~Sanctified
~~By Jessi Maxwell

~ * ^ * ~

Another day.  Not like it mattered.  Another mark on a calendar, another senseless click of 
the clock, just an unimportant dot in a pointless stream of time, unbroken by the night's 
sleep...I don't even remember the last time I slept, if indeed I ever did after my creation.

I sighed as I idly ran my fingers over the smooth, unbroken ring of my collar. One thing I 
cannot remember ever being without.  I glance in the mirror across the room, taking in the 
sight of me.  Not tall, but not short, well-muscled from millennia upon millennia and aeon 
upon aeon of training and combat.  Arching black wings folded at my back, arched above my 
head before sweeping almost to the floor...my hair, the front pulled back into a braided 
ponytail, the rest fine and wispy, shivering at the slightest breeze like a golden-brown 
waterfall. 

I wore what I usually did; extremely loose black silk pants, highly easy to move with, the 
legs flared out and giving me plenty of free space. A pair of earrings dangled from my ears
...silver skulls with ruby eyes and ivory teeth, grinning as they swung from small chains and 
brushed my skin. A black chain necklace swung from my neck, a matching skull swinging on the 
bottom.  I wrapped my feet as if in bandages, leaving  my heel and my toes free; I couldn't 
stand the confinement of shoes or boots.

Ironic, ne?  Me, cannot stand the confinement...I laughed as I reached unconsciously to my 
collar.  It was a nice collar, sure...you wouldn't think so if you were wearing it as I was, 
of course.   The collar was crafted of a solid piece of Shadowstone, which glistened like 
some strange cross between black glass and black diamond.  In the front and center was a small 
round gem of Asmalsistone; a blood red version of the Shadowstone.  But that little gem was 
the key.

The point of Shadowstone was to block magic completely.  To wear it prevented casting any 
spell, or getting hit by one.  It did the same for psionic capabilities.  The Asmalsistone, 
however, made it possible to channel the magic.  Thus, such a collar could be controlled, 
if one had a proper set of focuses cut from the same piece of Asmalsistone in the collar.  
Whoever had such stones would have complete control over the wearer of the collar.

I idly fingered the small Shadowstone loop that was attached right below the inset stone, 
the Asmalsistone...the blood ruby, as it was called by most.  A loop for a leash or a chain.  
Like the one currently attached to it, chaining me to the wall, giving me about ten feet of 
space in any direction.  I had tried ripping the piece of wall out; the beating I got would 
not soon be forgotten.

I looked ruefully at my wrists.  Bands of Shadowstone, perhaps three inches long, encircled 
them, as they did my ankles, though that was hidden under my pant legs.  Loops dangled from 
the inner sides...loops to bind me like cuffs and hobbles.

I sighed and continued to stare into the mirror, ignoring the hated collar.  My eyes were a 
shade of grayish-blue, as were all the Darkfyre children's.  However, I wasn't truly one of 
the Darkfyre clan.  It was just the form I chose to adopt.

I know that I had been called everything from drop dead gorgeous to insanely sexy.  Not to 
play with my ego, but I know it was such.  I'm an incubus....all incubi look very appealing, 
especially in a sexual manner.

I sighed and tore my gaze away from the mirror.  None of it really mattered.  What did matter 
was the fact that I was bound by my collar and enslaved by the holder of the twin blood rubies, 
the ones that matched the one set in my 'jewelry' as I tend to call it.  Jewelry...hah...what 
a joke.  It was the proof of my slavery. I was a slave to Lycavi; the highest of them to be 
sure, but a slave nonetheless.  

~ It's still getting worse after everything I've tried
What if I found a way to wash it all aside ~

I sighed as I lay on the bed, idly toying with the links of the long chain that bound me to 
the wall.  Shadowstone, of course...anything else, I could have broken.  I hated this...hated 
it with a passion.  I had fought for aeons and eternities, trying to get free of my slavery.  
But it only got worse with every attempt.  The only way I would ever be free of Lycavi's rule 
would be to have the rule of another, since she could not be killed.

I toyed with the idea of death, obsessed with it...attempted to achieve it numerous times.  
Death to wash away all my sins, to release me from slavery to a cruel mistress.  Every cut 
I made filled me with a thrill, my eyes gleaming as I watched the blood ooze from the wounds 
I made with my talons.  But as fast as I could cut, the wounds healed.  There had to be a way
...what would Lycavi do without me?  Probably lose a good deal of power and be more defeatable 
than she was now.  What if I could find a way to get free?

 ~ What if she touches me with those fingertips
As the words spill out like fire from her lips ~

But freedom is only a distant dream for me.  I shuddered as I thought of Lycavi.  She was 
beautiful, beyond any others.  None could compare; her beauty could make one weep or go mad.  
She wore a shimmering white dress that fit her voluptuous form well.  Dark, blondish brown 
hair cascaded in curls and waves down her back, nearly brushing the floor.  Her eyes were 
hypnotic...bottomless pools of ice blue.  Her skin was pale and unbroken, her lips full and 
red.  She could drive one mad with lust if she so chose...such was the nature of succubi.

I had fought to be free of her so many times.  But each time, I would fail.  I was her greatest 
creation... made to be her slave, made to achieve her dreams, made to be her perfect lover.  
It sickened me every time she came to me, ran her fingers across me, whispered words that 
turned my blood to fire as they dripped from her lips.  Oh how I hated her, hated everything 
about her, hated myself for it...but I could not resist her.

~ If she says come inside I'll come inside for her
If she says give it all I'll give everything to her
I am justified
I am purified
I am sanctified
Inside you ~

I'd do anything for her, even though I despise myself for it the entire time.  If she asked 
for my soul I'd gift wrap it and give it to her with my blessings.  It nearly drives me to 
insanity...I despise myself for every thing I do for her...but the saddest part is...when I 
please her, I feel justified...purified...sanctified.  She's everything I need and yet is the 
poison writhing in my soul.

~ Heaven's just a rumor she'll dispel
As she walks me through the nicest parts of hell ~

I have dreamed in the past of what it'd be like to be free of her.  But every time I do, she 
just comes back and takes me away from it all, shooting down all my ideas and prayers of 
salvation, dispelling the idea of freedom...of a sort of heaven, then takes me along with her 
through the nicest parts of hell.  I'm her slave...her perfect one. And I hate it even as I 
find that I cannot deny it, cannot resist.

~ I still dream of lips I never should have kissed
Well she knows exactly what I can't resist ~

There was a time where I'd fight her tooth and claw.  I'd fight violently to escape her, to be 
free of her, to not do anything for her.  And finally I learned that it just didn't happen.  
I was powerless against her, powerless to fight against any of her whims.  It made me want to 
scream.  She'd haunt me in my sleepless dreams during the night.  I knew I never should have 
given in...but I can't resist her and she knows it.  She knows it well.

~ If she says come inside I'll come inside for her
If she says give it all I'll give everything to her
I am justified
I am purified
I am sanctified
Inside you ~

The thing I hate the most about being forced to serve her is the fact that it makes me feel 
complete.  I enjoy it.  I despise myself almost as much as her.  Will it ever stop?  Will I 
ever escape her?...I know not...hells...half the time, I can't decide if I even really want 
to, and that scares me more than anything.

~ I'm just caught up in another of her spells
She's turning me into someone else ~

I know its magic, her hold on me.  Demon or no, I have some morals, twisted though they may 
be.  I tried to fight it, but I find myself lashing out less and less, just going about her 
wishes and...half the time enjoying myself.  She's turning me into someone else.

She's turning me into her perfect one.

~ Every day I hope and pray that this will all end
But when I can I do it all again ~

And for all my complaints...for all my arguments...for all my dreams, ill thoughts and wishes, 
all my prayers for it all to just stop...every last time, I do it all again.

~ If she says come inside I'll come inside for her
If she says give it all I'll give everything to her
I am justified
I am purified
I am sanctified
Inside you ~

Is it even possible to fight??...I never would have believed it to be.  She completes me, sad 
as it may be.  I know she warped my mind, I know I never think with even a half of my mind, and 
the decisions are not mine. 

But it isn't who I am.

And the worst part is...I never remember any of the things I do for her...just a faint fuzzy 
feeling...she strips my mind...But what can I do?

~ As surely as the blade's course is run
Maybe my kingdom's finally come ~

It's as good as over.  My fate is pretty much sealed.  It painst me to know that I just want 
something I can never have.  

I could call it freedom, liberty, peace...but above all there's only one thing I want.

I want myself.

~ Owari ~