Since everyone's writing about their muses' pasts, I should have a little input too, ne? Gomen, 
but they wouldn't tell me much, either that or they didn't have anything that you would call 
interesting for a past *looks pointedly at Sei*. But either way, I hope you like it! There's 
way too much self-praise in here, my ego took over when I was writing....*cackle* So, you'll 
just have to read my babble about how cool and great I am throughout the fic thingy!!! *cackle*

~*~*~*~*~*~*
Akiri stared at the TV screen with a blank look on her face. Then, "IT'S TOO QUIET!!!!!!!", 
though Gundam Wing was on the highest volume. Her parents had gone upstate and her sister.....
well......who cared where her sister was, as long as she wasn't there. "Where the fuck is Sei, 
Ryuu and Kai when you need 'em?! I can't believe they would all leave me at once like
this!! Well.....Sei hasn't exactly deserted me like the other two but....." Akiri trailed off 
as she looked sadly at Sei's door. He had locked himself up in his room since she had came home. 
Surely he wouldn't have someone's opinion of him so seriously, someone he hardly knew, in fact.

The writer growled softly, why was she so concerned anyway?! God, she only lived with them for 
less than a week and they were already able to inch their way into her heart. Akiri cursed at 
herself, she was growing soft. Needing something to occupy herself with, she grabbed the brush 
and attacked the wet tangles in her hair. "Ow!" she exclaimed as a few strands of her blue
hair came loose. She sighed, it wasn't usually like this.....Sei would sit behind her in the 
couch, running the brush gently through her hair, providing an escape, no matter how short, to 
a place where only warmth and comfort existed, away from whatever storms she was experiencing 
in real life. Now that she thought about, any time she had ever spent with the blonde was 
filled with warmth, he was like a godsend, no matter how much she complained about him being 
too dense to be human.

Then, Ryuu would shake his head, saying Sei should charge $12 for each time he brushed her 
hair. She would smirk, saying it was a privilege to be able to brush her hair. He would snort, 
saying, "That's what you think." She smiled affectionately as she thought of how similar they 
were. Most of it because they both had egos the size of planets, she just didn't voice hers as 
much as he did. Everything he did made everything seem so normal, like it was just another 
regular day no matter what turmoil could be happening on that day. Just having him say, "Is 
that something I could sell?" provided the solace she needed to go on for some reason.

And then, there was Kai. He wouldn't exactly join in the conversation, but he was always 
watching and listening. Always. He was always the observer, never a participant. Sometimes.....
sometimes, she swore she saw him quirk the edges of his mouth in amusement during her and 
Ryuu's arguments. And strangely, she felt safe and protected under that gaze, even though she
knew better than anyone how dangerous he truly was. And during those nights, the look in his 
eyes, it never contained anger or hatred, just.....fondness, and perhaps, unless she read wrong,
perhaps even pain. What could possibly have happened in his past to have caused him to act how 
he did now? What could have caused him to build these walls of coldness and hatred to hide the 
gentleness and turmoil that she was almost sure was inside of him? Something told her she 
wouldn't be finding any answers anytime soon.

What happened to those much treasured nights? Sei was probably thinking over what he did and 
how wrong it was, Ryuu was probably just off gambling again and Kai was probably threatening 
to kill another innocent person. She sighed, something told her it was much more serious than 
that. How she wished she could just have Sei running his hands tenderly through her hair, have 
herself wondering how Sei could possibly be so fascinated in a mass of deep blue tangles, have 
Ryuu argue with her, have Kai watch them....How she wished for the warmth and familiarity.....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sei sighed as he stared at the white ceiling of his room, it seemed like such a contrast to his 
thoughts, to his world of black. He didn't even understand himself why he was so upset over such 
a trivial thing. Imati. The feral demon with silken hair half-tied into a careless braid. He 
hadn't been expecting any kind relationship with the guy, no, even with his density, he knew 
that he was no more than a fling, a one-night stand. Though he felt a pang of hurt, knowing that 
he was thought so little of, none it was true pain. After all, he himself held no feelings of 
that nature (at least he didn't think so) for the demon, just the affection he felt for 
everyone.

Then why did he feel so troubled over this? Perhaps because the only other person who he had 
achieved such a level of intimacy with was the blue-haired girl herself. And with her, there 
was total honesty, total trust, no doubts or uncertainties. And for his second experience to 
be with someone who didn't trust him enough to tell him *why* the person felt such a need to 
be in control, to keep himself and his true feelings behind bars, well, the sadness was an 
inevitability for him. He almost chuckled, to think that Imati thought he felt this way just 
because of the fact that he wouldn't let Sei take him. No, he wouldn't feel this confusion over 
something so insignificant. Perhaps he was just the naïve child everyone called him, the one 
that knew nothing of the world. That knew none of the mistrust, dishonesty and true pain of the 
real world.

He sighed, sometimes he just wished he could be normal. Not the ignorant fool he was, but 
normal. Have the knowledge and the common sense of the people around him. But he could tell 
Akiri depended on his naïveté and innocence, no matter how she annoyed acted. He was far more 
observant than he ever let on. And for the girl who had gave him his new home of happiness, he 
would stay that way. Speaking of Akiri.......Sei laughed lightly. The first laugh he had had in 
a while. One more thing about her that fascinated him rather than her hair, her ability to make 
people laugh. That was a true gift. And well, as he said before, speaking of Akiri.....the last 
time he saw her, her hair was in desperate need of brushing. And knowing her, she must have 
ripped half of her hair out in frustration. He shook his head, not only that, but he loved the 
way her hair felt like silk against his fingers as he traced down it's length, relieving it of 
the angry tangles it had before. And so, he stepped out, not only of his room, but his small
boat of depression.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Blank. Darkness. Black. Deep in his meditation, Kai found himself plunged into a world of coal 
black ink once again. Devoid of anything except black and unconscious thought. Suddenly, 
interrupting his concentration, a vague image started to appear in the shadowy depths of his 
mind. Essex. Kai growled. Not him again, why couldn't he stop thinking about him?! He knew it
wasn't a crush. It *couldn't* be a crush, Kaikatsu Saiai didn't *have* crushes. So what was it? 
Ever since the damned moment he had laid eyes on him, his face plagued Kai's thoughts.

This Essex person was different from the rest, somehow. And Kai had no idea what. There was 
just something about his appearance that stirred the deepest of his memory banks. No matter 
how hard Kai tried to remember, the fleeting memory was always beyond his reach. He growled at 
the image once more and did something he never *ever* did before. He admitted defeat.

Just as the thought formed, another image appeared next to the picture of Essex. It was of a 
girl, about Essex's age, and looked surprisingly similar. The hair, the eyes, the smile. It was 
all there. Realization hit Kai like a ton of bricks. "Imouto...."

The image suddenly became animate and grinned, "Hai! At your service, nii-chan!" At Kai's 
confused look, her grin widened, "Decided to forget how I looked, did you? Well, the past 
always comes back to haunt you! B'sides, you didn't *actually* think I would let you forget 
my beautiful face, did you? No, I wouldn't put you through the torture, even if you *are* my 
evil eeeevil nii-chan!!" 

For the first time in six years, Kai chuckled. Yes, and the ego was there too. "You know I 
didn't want to forget your face.....iie, that's the last thing I'd want to do...." 

"Well, of course you didn't! Why would *anybody* want to forget *this* face?! But Time wanted 
you to, he wanted you to move on, so he made you forget. But you know me, I make my  own rules! 
And if I say you have to remember my gorgeous face, then what I say goes!" the girl 
smiled as she put her hands on her hips, creating an air of authority. 

Kai laughed and shook his head in affectionate exasperation, "You'd think that you'd stop being
cocky and spoiled six years after you're dead. Should have known better....." 

"Hey! I resent that!" she smacked  him playfully on the arm.

Kai suddenly sobered, "What took you so long?" The girl snicker, "I was waiting for you to 
admit defeat! And you did after a million years!! Yay!! I beat you!!" She stuck her tongue 
out at Kai, as he shook his head once again, some things would *never* change.....

"So,wassup?How'reya?How'slife?Howhaveyourcardsbeendealtlately?Tellme!!IhearyougotacrushonEssy,
isittrue?Isit?Isit?Isit?!Orisitjustbecauseheremindsyouofgorgeousme?Prollythelatter,it'llbethe
endoftheworldwhenyouactuallydogetacrush....Orevenworse,hell'llfreezeover,thatcan'tbeagoodthing,
I'mnotfinishedplayingthereyet,I'mnotevendonetortureingMr.Devilyet!!"

Kai blinked, his little sister never ceased to amaze with how much she could possibly say in one 
breath.

"Seriously, how have you been? I really missed you.....You've.....changed," she said sadly. 

//And here comes the mood swings....// Kai smiled, "No I haven't. I'm the same nii-chan I was 
before you....." 

She shook her head fervently, "No! You *aren't* the same nii-chan! You act the same around me, 
but you think that'll fool me? I've watched you......you've *changed*. Why? Is it because 
I.....? You're so cold.....so heartless....you're so.....not *my* nii-chan....*My* nii-chan's 
strong, and gallant, like those knights in fairy tales....And I'd be your princess, you'd 
protect me whenever I got in trouble....What happened to you, nii-chan? You don't protect 
anymore, you....hurt. I've missed you, Kai-niichan, but I'd rather remember you like
you used to be than see you again like......this. You've turned into a monster....You're not my 
nii-chan anymore....." her voiced saddened with each word. 

Kai shook his head, "You don't understand, times have changed.....people change along with it. 
As I have. It's just the way of life." 

"Aa, and so is moving on. Something *you* have not done. If you're going to go along with the 
other, then you have to go along with this too!! Until then, you're not my nii-chan." 

It was Kai's turn to shake his head violently, "But imouto.....you're not! You're *not* dead!!" 

She rolled her eyes, "You're the one who found my body, it's not exactly questionable. 'Sides, 
how else am I supposed to be in your sub-conscious, if I'm not dead? We don't all have 
telepathic powers like you, ya know. It took me a while to face the facts, will it take you 
another six years you face yours?! Now go!! You can't stay here forever, Akiri-san'll be 
worried! I don't get why she puts up with you! Oh, and don't threaten that Biv guy, again! He's 
cute, if you do, you'll have a pissed imouto after your ass!! Go!! Shooo!! I know you want to 
stay here with fantastic lil me, but unfortunately, I have a life. Right now, I have an 
appointment with Mr. Devil, he hasn't had his daily torture lesson today! Jya!!! Love you to 
bits and pieces!!" And she disappeared. Leaving Kai with black once more. 

He chuckled, she hasn't changed at all, the same imouto he remembered.

Opening his eyes, he brought himself out of his sub-conscious. His gentle smile faded. The mask 
of cold up once more. //I'm sorry, imouto-chan. I can't change back, not even for you. It's too 
much, too fast. And there just some things.....// He lifted his hand to the eye that was usually 
covered by his bangs. And traced the scar that had sealed it shut. //There just some things
that.....can't be changed. But hopefully, some day, I'll become the nii-chan you remember me to
 be....But until then....take care of yourself, imouto. This time, I'm not there to protect 
you.// A silver tear rolled down a pale cheek. From an eye that was never to open again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He gently laid the flowers on the soft dirt. White roses. Her favorite. In full bloom. He 
remembered, whenever he had given her roses in the past, she would never accept it unless it 
was in full bloom, not for it's beauty, she thought they looked lovely either way, but because 
she had always thought if the plants were going to be picked, they should at least have gotten 
to live it's life to the fullest, to bloom to it's fullest form. He shook his head at the 
memory, people called her naïve but he knew it was because she had loved life. She treasured 
it. She experienced it, needing to be a part of everything she saw, not wanting to miss out on 
anything life had to offer. She cherished every single day of it, no matter how much sadness it 
brought her, and she fell asleep each nights with absolutely no regrets.

So, how could fate play such a cruel game on them? To kill someone who loved life so much and 
to keep someone who hated life alive far longer than he had ever wanted. All the people around 
him. They had always been so loving, so caring. And they all died. Because of him. Him and his 
horrific powers. Who cared about telekinesis and telepathy when you had to have it in exchange 
for the people you loved? He would give up his powers, his life even, without a second thought 
if it meant he could bring back the lives of those kindred spirits and let them live the lives 
they deserved. The sadism and cruelty bit into his skin far more painfully than the harsh, cold 
wind around him could ever have.

"You know? She reminds me a lot of you," Ryuu said softly to grave, far softer than anyone in 
his new life had ever heard. He continued on with the gentle tenor, "She hates seeing people 
sad. It tears her up inside to see someone close to her sad, and believe me, that's a lot. It 
surprises me how easily she could trust people. She's not gullible though, no, anything but 
that. But she trusts people and loves them for all that they are, even with their faults. Even 
with that Kaikatsu character....Everyone else seems to obviously hate him, and yet she puts up 
with him. She always said it was because she didn't have a choice since he beat up every other 
muse that was in line, but she knows that she doesn't have to keep him as a muse if she didn't 
want to. She always tries to be funny, even though half of the time she isn't, but not for the 
sole reason of being funny. Just to cheer people up. Sometimes, she's horrifyingly corny and 
she knows it, but somehow, she makes it so that it's funny *because* it's corny. God, you're so 
much alike, it's uncanny. Not the humor though, don't worry, you're not corny like her. You're 
not as loud either," he chuckled.

"I suppose the biggest difference between you and her is the ego. While you used to be so shy 
and self-conscious, she has the ego the size of a universe. Well, sometimes. At times, she can 
be terribly self-conscious, at others, she can be so cocky, it's disgusting. But, how 
hypocritical of me, I seem to have an ego of the same size. But other than that, the 
similarities are unbearable, it's hard to look at her without thinking of you. I mean, how 
often do you see two girls with blue hair in one lifetime? But then again, silver hair isn't 
exactly common either...." he laughed softly.

"She has other muses too, you know. Kai, I've already told you about. He's so cold and hateful, 
he could send shivers down your spine, just looking at you. And Sei, well, he's just the 
opposite. He has the innocence and naïveté of a child. Something we've all lost, I'm sure. The 
four of us....I guess we've established a pretty dysfunctional family in the past week. In fact,
I think we've changed, or rather, distorted, the meaning to "family" forever. Remember when 
people always called me a freak because of my unnatural powers? Well, that seems to be pretty 
common in this group....You hear that? I might actually fit in for once....I really should be 
getting "home", she's probably going to kill me, thinking I spent too much money. I left a note
saying I went gambling, she'd thwap me upside the head for acting too much like Sei if she saw 
me like this, " Ryuu laughed fondly. He bent down and pressed the tips of his fingers to his 
lips, then lightly caressed the photo on the grave stone with the same fingers. "Rest well, 
koishii," he whispered one last time before he left the cold, unforgiving cemetery.

Her deep blue hair faded into the limitless midnight sky. Her golden eyes were nothing more 
than two bright, twinkling stars. Her whisper nothing more than the wind rustling the leaves. 
"You seem nice, Akiri-san. Take care of him for me. And don't forget to give him a few punches 
for me too...." a musical voice giggled, dissolving into the sweet serenade of chirping crickets
and the swaying grass.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Er, there you go! Happy? Now you know as much as I do about there pasts! For anything more, 
you'll have to bug them for it, don't get your hopes up though. I've tried. And I *still* don't 
know how all these people died! *growls*

~Akiri