I never meant to hurt him.  I fell hard in a hole on ground I wasn't supposed to tread, 
and was broken when I fell.  I'll never be able to climb back up to the surface and leave 
here...Why is it that heaven is hell and the angels bleed?

But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself.  Maybe I should start at the beginning? My life 
story isn't extraordinary...I'm only nineteen as of this year's Harvest Moon....I believe 
it's October 17th by mortal standards...

Regardless...here is my story.

~ * ^ * ~

Valamaradace gazed fondly at the shimmery, pearlescent eggs nestled among the feathers and 
fur lining the nest in her cave.  It wouldn't be long now.  Val yawned and stretched her 
neck, briefly opening the fans on either side of her head.  She sat still for a moment, 
allowing her fans to pick up on the world around her.  Touchy infrared sensors picked up 
the traces of an approaching heat source, and a reptilian smile curled her lips.  Her 
kalani, her lifemate, was coming.

Jorven landed on the side of the cliff with a slight thump, sharp claws digging into the 
sheer stone wall.  He shook himself breifly, then folded his massive, leathern wings and 
crawled up a few feet and squeezed into the narrow, brief tunnel that led into his cave.

Val let out a happy, soft chirp. *Kalani, welcome home!*  Val stood and walked over to 
Jorven, nuzzling  him. *The eggs will hatch very soon.* she chirped, and Jorven nodded, 
emerald scales glowing in the sunlight that streamed in through the doorway.  Val walked 
back over to her eggs and lay down, curling her tail around herself and watching as one of 
the eggs moved. Val chirped in excitement.

A moment later, a tiny gold-colored beak poked through a shell. The baby Nattak that 
belonged to the beak cheeped.   ~How dare this prison contain me? I can smell the air! 
I must get out, I need to get out now!~  The Nattakling shoved on the side of the eggshell, 
pushing with all it's might against the walls.  The eggshell strained, then cracked and 
shattered.

The Nattakling blinked rapidly, its neck drawing back into an tight 's' shape at the sudden 
light and the sheer sensation of being free.  It opened it's wings, still wet from the 
inside of the egg, and the fans on either side of its head, tiny purple eyes looking around 
with awe at it's world for the first time.

Val cooed with delight at the sight of her firstborn son.  The Nattakling was scarcely a 
foot tall, and was blinking in amazement at the world around it, its gold wings spread and 
its small, perfect emerald scales shining, still damp.  It looked at Valamaradace and let 
out a tiny cheep of curiosity and wonder.

Jorven leaned down his regal head to look at the heir to his throne.  *You are the crown 
prince, little one...I name you Ginattak...Prince Ginattak Etiantae.  One day you shall be 
King, and all that you see in our lands will be yours to rule.  I will teach you to rule 
wisely, for a race ruled by a harsh leader does not prosper for long.*

Gi blinked and let out a small cheep at his father's words.  He didn't understand, not yet. 
*sleepytired...* he cheeped, conveying the emotions rather than the words as he pulled 
himself to his feet, his legs wobbly and his eyes blinking rapidly.  He made a few hesitant 
steps across the soft bottom of the nest and flopped down next to Valamaradace, curling up 
against her.  She cooed softly to her firstborn and then turned her attention back to her 
eggs as more began to move.

Gi's nestmates were born then.  The first was a female, who was dubbed Emmeralise by her 
mother.   The rest hatched at relatively the same time.  Gi had two brothers and four sisters.  

But at the moment, Gi didn't care.  *sleepytiredwarmcontent* And then the Nattakling drifted 
off to sleep.

~ * ^ * ~

Gi grew quickly, as all draconic creatures do.  When he was at an age of four, he learned 
how to adapt a human form.  He was a cute child, with his ankle-length blond ponytail and 
bright purple eyes.  He was by nature a curious individual, but was no means anywhere near 
as hyper and boisterous as most of his siblings.  Emmy shared his quiet, calm nature.

Gi was taught as all Nattaklings were taught; he was well-schooled in magic, writing, and 
artistry, but above all, he learned music.

A Nattak's voice was their greatest weapon.  By nature, a Nattak speaks in trilling chirps, 
cheeps, and coos, which seem to echo and vibrate into the very bones of one hearing their 
call.  In most cases, it was a very pleasant sensation.  If they were upset, however, it 
became a deadly weapon and could flay their hapless victim.  

A Nattak's song was one of the few things most creatures would never forget.  It was rumored 
to be more beautiful than even the song of a siren.  Gi learned to sing and play instruments, 
and quickly became quite skilled.  He was considered a child prodigy by his people, picking 
up on  things at an incredible rate, viewing things with calm, quiet intelligence...just as 
his father had done for the millenia of his rule.

The Nattakian race was one that upheld peace and pacifism.  They learned a few combat skills, 
but only to save their lives or protect their family or citizens.  If it came to a fight, 
they  would usually flee, retreating back to the tall, stone cliff walls that were riddled 
with holes that marked the openings of more caves.  The cliffs framed a beautiful grassy 
valley, where plenty of game ran about, and a beautiful lake filled with fish provided for 
the rest of the Nattaks' diet.

It was an ideal life.  But such idealism rarely lasted forever.

Not long after Gi's sixth year turned to his seventh, a rogue dragon attacked the Nattak 
civilization.  The dragon had fallen out of favor with the Queen, and was tired, upset, 
starving and homeless.  Upon seeing the Nattaks' home, it dived into the valley, soaring 
after a few deer-like creatures that were unlucky enough to be wandering about.

Valamaradace chirped in alarm at the sight of the monstrous, crazy beast diving towards the 
small herd.  She had taken Gi out to perfect his hunting skills, and the young Nattak had 
been lying in wait for the herd to move a bit closer.  Gi had the sense not to move, laying 
still and letting himself blend in with the grass, praying the dragon would not see him.

Val, who had not been hiding, was seen almost instantly by the charging monstrosity.  She 
dived off the ground, her wings snapping out and beating furiously as she attempted to get 
out of the way of the beast.  But it was not to be.

Moving like lightning, the dragon lunged forward, powerful jaws closing around Val's neck 
and crunching down.  Gi barely managed to suppress his cry of greif and terror, burying 
his muzzle in the ground and curling his wing over his head.  He trembled, knowing that the 
dragon was going to end his too-short life.  A Nattak was by far no match for a dragon, even 
if the dragons hadn't been trained to combat and bloodshed since their birth.  If he moved 
or cried out, he was as good as dead.

An enraged, anguished cry echoed through the sky as Jorven Etiantae saw his kalani's life 
crushed from her body.  He dived at the dragon that had killed his mate, consumed by anguish 
and grief.  His powerful feet crashed into the dragon's neck and wrapped tightly around it, 
squeezing hard.  The dragon thrashed and clawed, but couldn't fight off the surprise attack 
of the despairing Nattak King.  Soon it lay still, its life choked out of it.

Jorven took no joy in this killing.  He walked slowly to the body of his kalani, then threw 
back his head and let out a cry of mourning.  No sound compared to the soul-rending, 
pain-filled cry of a Nattak that had lost it's love.

In Nattakian society, a Nattak fell in love but one time in their life.  When the finally 
found the one, a Nattak never loved another in it's life.  Their love was flawless, seamless, 
and perfect.  The thing that mattered in their life, above all others, above any other 
concern, even for themselves, was the happiness of their kalani.

When a Nattak's kalani was lost, their grief was like their love.  Complete and all-consuming.   
So destroyed and devestated was a suddenly single Nattak, that life never lasted long after 
that.  They would usually lie down and merely give up.  Occasionally, in some cases which were 
a bit stronger, they would take their life and end their greif.  To live would be hollow.

The Nattak King cried for the death of his kalani, and Gi wept.

~ * ^ * ~

It was less than a week later that the news was spread; Jorven Etiantae had died in the 
night, and Gi was now the sole heir to the throne.  Gi was triply hit with his grief; all 
his siblings had died in a subsequent dragon raid, save for Emmeralise, and both of his 
parents had been destroyed.  Gi wept almost nightly.

Gi had been thrown into the role of King at an age millions of years before he was supposed 
to be.  He struggled through it, however, and did his best to rule his people as his father 
had;  using kindness and wisdom, and keeping their race a passive one.

Time passed slowly, days seeming to meld together.  Gi wrote songs and stories, and spent a 
good deal of time thinking.

In his eighteenth year, Gi learned of an opening as a job for a Druin, a neko-ningen's, muse.  
Having nothing better to do, needing the company, and wanting to do the one job he did well, 
write, he went and met this neko-onna that called herself Jessi Maxwell.  He quickly grew to 
love the mortal world, and met Jessi's other muses, the three eldest children of the Darkfyre 
clan.

He began to hang out with Jessi, and soon met with her friends and their muses.  One of the 
people he met, however, one caused a myriad of feelings to explode inside of him.  Gi 
couldn't understand his fascination with Tenshi's little muse, Biv.  It was completely, 
totally foreign to him.  He struggled to deal with it.

*curiousitywonder* ~What manner of thing is this?~ he asked himself as he looked at the 
innocent muse that reminded him so much of an angel. ~What is...~ A clear, sharp blast of 
realization struck him.  ~Dear Goddess! It is to be this one that I love?~  Gi blinked in 
amazement, and wonder, then growing dread.

*painhurt* ~Biv loves Az...I have no right to interfere with this...~  And another blast of 
reality hit him. ~Not even a day and already my kalani is lost to me...~  And Gi felt 
himself dying...

~ * ^ * ~

However, that was not the end of me...I'm still alive, and feel incredibly weird writing 
about myself in the third person...I feel like a schizophrenic of some sort...but live I do, 
and live I will.  

And that is my story thus far.

~Ginattak Etiantae

~ OWARI ~