Ran�s apartment was dark when I opened the door, letting myself in with the key that has it�s own key ring, hidden and separate from the rest. I stepped out of my shoes just inside the door and shrugged off my leather coat, dropping it on the couch as I pass by, knowing this space almost as well as my own room in the house I share with Aya and Omi. The apartment was warm, smelled clean and inviting after the harsh winter air. I walked to Ran�s place, feeling the need to stretch a bit after the festivities of the day, and I couldn�t risk having Aya spot my car in the neighborhood where she liked to stroll. I was out of my tux, showered and changed before Aya and Omi could return and begin celebrating their first night as a married couple.

Ran�s place reminded me of the days when we lived above the Koneko no Sumo Ie. He has a small flat above his own shop, a living room and kitchen on the ground floor. Half of the living space has been turned into a greenhouse and storage room. Ran doesn�t need a lot of room; he spends most of his time working in some way or another. He runs a successful business, floristry with a specialization in ikebana, though he does a fair trade in other arrangements as well. A computer occupied a desk in the corner of the living room, a banker�s lamp left on for the barest hint of illumination in the dark.

Soft music drifted down the stairs from Ran�s bedroom. I follow the sound to its source and lean against the doorframe, watching Ran. He was curled up in the soft armchair parked near the window, steaming mug clutched between his hands, blanket draped over his lap. Ran hated winter, has since I met him and probably always will. He was always cold, but never complained, even during that long winter in the trailer cruising around Japan with a heater that barely worked and three other men who didn�t mind the chill.

There was a pot of tea on the hot plate resting on the wide window sill, an empty mug next to it, my mug. �Hey babe,� I spoke up. I�m sure he knew I was there � he�s a hard one to sneak up on. He would have made a good cop or PI if life hadn�t taken the path his had.

�Hey,� he said, not moving. He was staring out the window, book face down in way that would crack the spine, glasses resting in the canyon created by the spread of the cover.

�You okay?� I asked, moving toward the window. The day had to have been hard for him, watching from a distance as his little sister married one of his best friends.

�Aa. Just thinking.�

��Bout what?� I poured myself a cup of tea and perched on the arm of Ran�s chair, lifting my arm so he could tuck himself against my side and share my warmth.

�That it�s time to stop all of this,� he said softly.

I tried not to let the hope that suddenly welled in my chest spill over into my face or my voice. �Are you sure, babe?�

�Youji,� he turned to me for the first time that night and I could see the faded tracks of tears on his cheeks. �I hid in the shadows for my sister�s wedding. I missed her graduation from nursing school and so much in between. I want to be able to hold my nieces and nephews someday. I want to stop being afraid and running.�

Those were a lot of words for Ran, still are. He�d apparently been thinking about it � the gift for Aya-chan, this speech. �How long have you been thinking about this?� I asked calmly, though inside I was cheering. For so long I had hoped for that moment, for Ran to decide he was ready to stop.

�A while,� he admitted. �I�m tired, Youji,� he sighed, slumping against me.

I sat my tea down and shift so I could pull him against me. �I know, babe.� I had never been happier. I knew that there was still time before we can face the world together again, but at least I knew that we would. �You had already decided, hadn�t you?� I asked softly, not accusing.

�For the most part,� he said softly. �I didn�t want to say anything until I was sure. And now-�

�And now Aya has some idea in her head so if I spill something it won�t be a big deal,� I smile affectionately and kiss the top of his head. �You have a cover worked out, I assume?�

�I�m putting one together,� he said, setting his cup on the windowsill. �I don�t have all the details figured out yet.�

�Are you working with Omi?� I slid over the arm of the chair so I half landed in Ran�s lap. He shoved me off with a lopsided half smile that�s almost as good as the full thing on just about anybody else.

�Yeah. You�re not mad?�

I looked up at him. He was serious. �Why would I be mad, babe? I�ve been wanting you to give up on all of this a long time ago. If you feel like you had to keep it from me, that�s up to you. I trust you.�

�You do?�

I drew up to my knees and covered his hands with mine. �Yes, babe. I knew that when you decided that the time was right, you would give this up. I know that�s its hard. We�ve both lived like this for a long time, and the assassin and floristry game is all we�ve known. But I�ve trusted you with my life and with my heart. I trust you not to leave me behind when you�re ready to go. And I trust that you�re smarter than me and know when to keep secrets that are going to protect us both.� I smiled at him. I meant every word. How could I be mad at him for something that is so intrinsically Ran?

Ran smiled back down at me and tugged at my hands. I stood and he shifted in the large chair, making room for both of us to snuggle down together. It was bright and clear outside, no stars to be seen out the window, both for the cloud cover and the city lights reflecting off them.

We sat in comfortable silence, our fingers occasionally lacing together and twisting apart as we watch the park not too far from his window, people out for walks in the brisk air, couples huddling close together as they braved the weather that would soon promise snow.

Ran shivered and surreptitiously snuggled a little closer.

�Cold?�

He looked up at me with one of his half smiles. �Always.�

�Well then,� I winked. �Let�s see if we can�t get you warmed up.� Before he could respond my lips covered his, hands sliding up his face into the dyed hair, pulling him closer against me. Ran melted; he always has been a sucker for a good kiss and if there�s one thing I�ve always been good at, it�s kissing.

I tasted tea on his lips, the slight spice mingling with the taste that was solely Ran. The flavor exploded across my tongue when I parted Ran�s lips and pressed the kiss deeper. He made a noise deep in his throat and brought his hands up to play with my hair. I still wore it long, my natural dark color back in place after years of going blonde. I would have given anything to play with Ran�s hair the way he loves to play with mine, but I was never able to convince him. I moaned when he tugged on my hair, short nails scraping slightly against the back of my neck, up along my scalp.

When we pulled away we were both breathing heavily, Ran�s face flushed slightly. �Did that help?�

�Mm,� he said softly. �But I think it�s still a little cool in here.� Ran said it with a straight face but there was a happy, teasing sparkle in his violet eyes.

I smiled. Sometimes Ran�s playfulness catches me off guard. Back in the day when he was still Aya, the moments where he would drop his mask and shields and let himself be free were rare. But over the years he�s let go of that other personality and become comfortable with being Ran again, and I can see now in the man that he is, the boy he once was.

�I think you�re right,� I said, standing and pulling off my sweater. �I do feel a draft.�

Ran stood and skimmed his palms flat over my chest, lingering over a set of five short slash marks before moving up and cupping my face, drawing me down for another deep kiss. He�s only an inch or two shorter than I am, but it makes it easier to ravish his mouth. When he pulled away a moment later, he runs his thumb over my lip with a small smile, using his other hand to take mine and pull me towards his bed.

There aren�t enough words to express my relief when Ran purchased a western style bed for his flat. Maybe he thought he was getting too old for the futon or tatami mats he�d used in the past, or maybe he just realized how much I was going to complain since we had to spend our time together at his place. At any rate, his bed was a nice one, large and soft, and always immaculately kept.

Ran pushed me onto the bed with a gentle shove, before stripping out of that loathed orange sweater he still clings to when he�s trying to reclaim the past. So there was more to his starting out the window than he was willing to let on, but I had already figured that out, mostly, and set myself to change his mood, or at least refocus his attention for a while. I hooked my fingers in the belt loops of his jeans and tugged him forward. He climbed onto the bed on his knees, straddling my lap.

Through the fabric of two pairs of pants I could feel the heat building between us. It never seemed to take long, but I was intent on drawing things out. Why should Aya and Omi be the only ones affirming something new? We had something to celebrate, too. Soon, we wouldn�t have to hide anymore. Selfish as it may sound, I was tired of pretending that I was either over Ran�s death and had moved on, or wasn�t and was still in mourning.

I shifted, easily rolling so I was crouched above Ran. I kissed him deeply, moving so that I was next to him and not poised on top. His head turned with me, not breaking the kiss, one hand lightly skimming over my exposed skin once again. I hooked one of my legs over his, and draped an arm over his stomach.

We laid like that for a long time, exchanging kisses and soft touches, both of us happy to draw the night out, to just be in each other�s presence. Too often we had to steal time when we wouldn�t be missed; him from his work, me from the house or office. But my housemates would be too occupied with themselves to wonder about me, and Ran lived alone and had no obligations the next day.

Ran shifted, bringing our bodies in full contact, and I could feel the chill on his skin. �You are cold,� I murmured, moving to cover him.

�I told you,� he said, sliding his hands down to the waistband of my pants, dexterous fingers making short work of the button fly on my jeans.

�Hn,� I grinned, catching his lips once again. I felt the rough fabric of my pants slide over my hips, no underwear to impede the sensation. I kicked them loose, using my toes to slip my socks off while my lips began to roam over Ran�s face, nipping lightly at his jaw and the soft flesh under his chin. I lingered over the pulse point in his neck, feeling it hot and strong under my lips. Ran�s fingers continued to dance lightly over my skin, leaving a trail of warmth in their tracks, my breath catching in my throat as he skimmed a sensitive patch.

�Ran,� I breathed into his ear.

�Hn?� He arched his neck to give me better access.

�You have too many clothes on,� I whispered, running the flat of my hand over the bulge in his jeans.

I felt more than heard the rumble deep in his throat in response. His hands went to work on his fly, mine getting in the way teasingly, tangling our fingers together while I continued to drop small, open mouthed kisses to his jaw and throat. Ran growled playfully and rolled us in one quick move, coming to rest poised about me, with his knees on other side of my hips.

I grinned up at him, still playing with the fastener of his jeans. He quirked an eyebrow and didn�t jerk away when I surged up, kissing him roughly and undoing his pants in one smooth motion. I hooked his briefs with my fingertips and pulled them down over his slim hips with his pants. His mostly hard length sprang free of it�s confines, rising out of base of crimson colored curls, reminding me of his true coloring.

Ran�s large bed allowed me to roll us again so I crouched over him, dragging his pants down and tossing them over the edge. I left his socks on, not because of any particular kink, but because his feet were likely to be as cold as ice, and I didn�t want to feel them against my skin. Gooseflesh broke out over his skin; despite the heater, his home was still a converted shop and didn�t hold the heat well. I reached for the blanket at the foot of the bed and draped it over us, lowering myself to put our faces just a few inches apart.

God, but I loved this man. And I don�t think that up to that point I�ve ever actually told him so. Almost fifteen years together and I don�t think I�d ever said the words out loud. I pulled back slightly, resting on my haunches, letting my hands come up to cup Ran�s face. He blinked, puzzlement lingering in the depths of his eyes and rested his hands on my forearms.

�I love you,� I whispered.

Ran�s hands tightened on my arms, a full fledged smile breaking out on his face. He looks so beautiful when he lets his feelings show on his face. �I love you too,� he whispered back, gratitude and happiness, and equal amounts of lust glowing in his eyes.

I kissed him again, letting my body sink down atop his, our erections sliding against each other, making us both fully hard at that initial contact. Ran made a noise deep in his throat at the sensation, his hands tracing circles over my back as I scooted down his body, leaving kisses in my wake. I paid particular attention to his belly button, using my tongue to play with the ring through his navel.

Ran�s hands worked through my hair, combing through with his fingers, nails scraping lightly over my scalp, fingers clenching with a soft gasp when I pulled a little harder on the bolt through his belly button. I felt his length hot and heavy against my thigh, my own not far out of my mind as the sight of Ran laid out beneath fueled my own arousal. With one last nip at the soft flesh of his tummy, I slid farther down, pressing my lips to the sensitive flesh around his cock, breathing the heady scent of his musk and soap.

My hands curled around his slim, pale hips as my mouth continued to roam and tease around the base of Ran�s erection, nuzzling the coarse hair with my nose, placing light kisses around and on his shaft. His hands covered mine.

�Youji,� he breathed, and I looked up. His pale skin, far to marred by old scars, was flushed, chest moving rapidly with increased breath, eyelids heavy but a faint grin on his face.

�Yeah, babe?� I twirled my tongue around the base of his erection and drew my mouth up, drawing a long wet line along it and extracting a shuddering breath from my lover. I grinned up at him, waiting for him to gather his thoughts after they seemed to have scattered.

�Want you,� he sighed, dragging his eyes open. �Want you. Inside me.�

�I think I can do that,� I grinned, feeling the blanket slip from my body as I leaned up to kiss Ran again, withdrawing the tube of lubricant I knew was lurking under the pillow. The tube was almost empty and pretty battered. We haven�t bothered with condoms for several years now. Kritiker had us tested routinely when we were Weiss, mostly because of the nature of Ken and Ran�s weapons, but there had been a rough period for me and Ran, after Neu�s death, when I was running around and drinking a lot. But I stayed clean, and after that, Ran and I were too committed to each other to even think about doing anything else.

I kissed Ran again, long and deep. His lips were swollen when I pulled away slowly, scraping my teeth lightly over his lower lip.

Ran�s hands drifted over my chest as I got the cap off the tube. �So many scars,� he murmured, tracing each one. Only one of mine was not incurred on the job � I had my appendix out when I was ten. �Too many,� he said faintly, running a finger around the smooth circle of a gunshot wound on my shoulder.

�They build character,� I winked, leaning up to kiss him again, drinking him in, making him forget about our unclean past, the reason why both our bodies carry so many scars. There�s a jagged line on my arm where I caught his blade, and there�s a set of fine concentric circles around his bicep where I tangled him in my wire. Neither of us comment on those wounds, but when we�re particularly melancholy, they get drawn into our lovemaking, as if paying them special attention will make the ancient hurt of them go away.

I squeezed a good amount of lube into my palm letting it warm slightly as I slicked my hands liberally. The warm scent of vanilla mixed with the smell of Ran�s sweat and musk, my own cologne. Ran always preferred flavored or scented lube. I didn�t mind one way or the other, but the vanilla added something to the atmosphere, something familiar. Whenever I smell vanilla, I think of Ran, and the time we spend together.

�Youji,� Ran sighed as I pressed one finger into him. I worked it around, trying to loosen the ring of muscle that was so tight. Ran�s breathing was fast, but relaxed in a way, his body not fighting the most intimate of intrusions. I teased him with that one finger for a while, pressing up toward his prostate, randomly striking it, hearing Ran make delightful noises in response.

His hips arched up toward me when I added a second finger, gently scissoring to relax him farther. I took my time to make sure he was well prepared; in almost fifteen years, I have never hurt Ran doing this, and I never intend to. Ran was practically writhing under me, thrusting against my fingers though I tried to keep him still with a hand just below his belly button.

�Ready?� I asked softly, still pressing up into him with my fingers, still stretching and keeping the muscles loose and able to take me.

�Yes,� he breathed. He brought his legs up and I ducked slightly, taking his knees over my shoulders and withdrawing my fingers. I quickly squeezed a fair amount of lube into my palm and coated myself as I shifted, lining myself up with Ran�s entrance.

I held my breath as I slid slowly forward, throwing my head back as I was engulfed by Ran�s dark heat, tight and welcoming, and perfect. I stopped when I could go no farther and bent forward, locking my lips with my lover�s, holding this moment, letting it imprint on my brain.

Ran�s hands on my hips urged to me move. I withdrew slowly, then eased myself back in, establishing a slow, lazy rhythm. My partner tried to urge me faster, but I ignored his promptings, content to make it last. We weren�t too old to not be able to do it again later, but I wanted to make it right, no, make it perfect between us. I began to stroke Ran�s length in time with my movements, making Ran thrust against me in both directions.

I continued the slow, torturous pace until my own body demanded that I answer its call. Gradually, I began to increase the frequency of my thrusts, control diminishing as our coupling grew more frantic, lust and release overriding any desire for romance or style. I felt Ran grow tense beneath me, his body humming with pleasure, muscles taught with the impeding explosion. I felt my own body thrum in time with my thrusts, the pulse in the erection under my fingers matching my own, throbbing in my chest.

�Youji I--� was all Ran got out. One final thrust and he came over my hand, ribbons of white spraying both of our chests, hitting my chin, Ran�s eyes closed as he let the pleasure take him. I followed a few short strokes later, my hand still working over Ran to draw out his release as I peak, Ran�s name falling from my lips in a soft gasp.

I tried to hold myself up, but it was a battle already lost to muscles weak from pleasure and stiff from being in the same position for so long. I fell forward, my chest coming to rest against Ran�s belly, my ear strategically placed near his heart, so I could hear his heart beat return to its normal, sedate pace. I heard his chuckle low in his throat, felt him shift, the weight of his legs on my shoulders disappearing, the gentle comfort of the slightly scratchy blanket sliding up over my back, tenting us together.

�Warm now?� I mumbled, kissing the smooth skin directly beneath my head.

�Yeah,� Ran whispered, fingers stroking my hair. �All warm.�

�Good,� I murmured around a yawn. �Love you. Keep you warm forever.�

Ran shifted under me again. I felt lips press against the top of my head. �I love you too, Youji. You�re better than any electric blanket.�

I laughed sleepily. ��Lectric blankets don�t give blow jobs.� I smiled, feeling sleep tug at me.

Ran swatted the top of my head.

�Ow,� I whined, raising my head off his chest. Mischief and humor lurked in his eyes. I grinned back. After all, Omi and Aya weren�t the only ones with something to celebrate.