The last month of my pregnacy was pretty rough as I started having high blood pressure and my legs swelled up about three times their normal size. I did everything I was suppose to do. I ate what the doctors list said, slept the best I could and tried to stay calm. Six days before Angel was born I was even put in the hospital because of high blood pressure. They released me the next day when my blood pressure went down. Now I wish I had asked them to do a stress test on the baby. I didn't know about them back then though. Had they done one they might have saved her life. I know it was God's will that she be with him but I still feel I was not treated right.
So on Tuesday morning, October the 30th, my water breaks(in my bed of course). My sister helps me call my husband(Glen) back from work so he can be there too.
When we get to the doctors office the doctor did a ultrasound and they couldn't find the heart beat. They then sent us to the hospital to have them do a better one as their machine was more up to date. They never found the heart beat and at noon that day the doctor came in and told us our baby was dead.
Why? Why us? We love children! We have a lot of love to give a child! We still had to have our baby. It was rough and I refused to see anyone but Glen. I didn't want visitors watch me fall apart.
I do remember my Mom calling from Florida and she was so excited and when I told her the baby was dead, I can still remember her words clear, "I am so sorry, honey". I hate those words every since.
Angel was born at 7:51pm and I was in such shock that I don't remember anything but a pink blanket and asking if she was alive. I never got to see her or hold her. No pictures.
She died because there was a birth defect in the cord. When my water broke it was one twist to many and she was gone.
Three days later we had her burial service and I begged the funeral home to let me see her first. We didn't have her for show. Glen, My Mom and I went. She was like a little angel. She had blond curly hair and a cute chubby face. I wasn't allowed to touch her even though I longed to so much. We had her buried naturally so they had to keep her cool. We forgot about pictures, the shock of everything was just to much. Her picture will always be in my heart and one day I will be able to hold her.
