Author: munky
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: One sided sakashipping, I guess�
Genre: General, angst, slight violence, gratuitous usage of the f-word, and Kasumi's POV.
Archive: MCY for now. Ask nicely and ye shall receive.
Author Notes: Eee�uhm, I'm not straight, so I dunno if I can do this m/f stuff right. I suppose it's like f/f, only with different bits, ne? Good God, at least I'm not doing a het lemon. That would just be squickity.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. If you do? Well, f*** you too!

ON WIT DA FIC!!

Satoshi, you miserable jerk, how could you do this to me? To us? I had our lives all planned out before you disappeared off the face of the planet. We'd marry, have kids, watch them grow up, and enjoy each others' company in our old age. Then you turned around and ran away from everything. Your mother, your friends, and me.

Why couldn't you have said something at least? Gave me some sign that you weren't happy living with your father? It wasn't Hanako-san's choice to give you over to him, you know. The courts made the final decision and she couldn't do anything. Heh! I bet you didn't know anything about that, did you? You always ignore what's going on with other people; all you ever did was nod and agree unless it directly affected you or Takeshi and I prodded you into involvement. I don't know whether to be angry with you or to pity you.

You know, I sometimes wish I could run into you on the street on some random day, just so I could see what you've become. Are you a beggar? A thief? Did you end up dealing drugs or getting caught up in their use? Maybe you've been tied up in something way over your head, like you usually do. This time you can't rely on us to save you from whatever fucked up thing you did.

Don't get me wrong, Sato-kun. I'm not all that mad at you. Just bitterly disappointed at the choices you've made recently. Worried that you might have been found dead in a gutter somewhere and nobody told us. The worst thing about you leaving was that Hanako-san asked Shigeru to take care of your Pikachu. He's responsible, caring, and kind to it and he's had it for less than a year! You had Pikachu by your side for years on end and gave up its' friendship the instant you decided not to tell us you were leaving.

Couldn't you have at least had the decency to call your mother? Even if you were too afraid of what she might have said, you could have always talked to me. You might think I've always been loud and bossy, but ever since you left, I've learned how to listen. I had to, otherwise your Kaa-san would have gone to pieces without a sympathetic ear.

Huh, this might sound like it came out from nowhere, but I realized some important things when I was with Hanako-san. First off, she's stronger than you think. While you had the determination to go and become a Pokemon master, she had a life of her own. She's done a lot and been through a lot that you never knew about. There are some things that she's proud of, like you, (although I think you're a fucking class-a jerk right now), and other things that she isn't. Also, she'd never turn you away or take you back to a place you couldn't stand being in. I don't know why you'd ever think that of her. Where did you get the idea you couldn't come back?

And your Kaa-san and I aren't the only ones hurt by what you did. Takeshi won't show it, but I've heard him crying at night. He thinks that no one hears him, but I do. That's what makes it all the worse, because he can't show how much he cares about you or what an important person you are to him. Ookido-san rarely comes out of his laboratory anymore because he'd rather immerse himself in his studies than go to Hanako-san's house and not hear you raiding the fridge or playing with Pikachu.

Shigeru is the only one who seems unfazed about you being gone. He's just as brash and arrogant as he ever was. Unfeeling bastard! Everytime I'm around him, I swear I have to stop myself from kicking the shit out of that pompous fuck.

I just, really wish you were here, and, and, I hope that wherever you are, you're safe.

Ai shiteiru
Kasumi

I put down my pencil down on the desktop next to my diary as I finished reading the words I'd wrote. Words full of anger, and although I'd really never admit it, a bit of spite. I wanted to let out the words that would hurt Satoshi if he ever came back and read my letter to him. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me.

Everything went blurry for a second and I wiped my eyes roughly. I couldn't help but cry. I felt so worthless and, and powerless all because Satoshi didn't even bother to care enough to at least let me know. Let me know that he was okay and he'd be back. Maybe he wasn't planning to come back at all.

Oh gods, that would be the worst thing ever to happen to me. I don't know if I could live without that bike-stealing baka's overconfident grin and cheerful smile again. It would have been hard enough if he told me he didn't love me, but to abandon us all would just be plain fucking heartless.

Satoshi's changed so much since the last day I saw him. It was a full week before he ran away and he'd only been living with Sakaki for a few months. We bumped into each other at some Gym Leader banquet and it shocked me how different he was.

He seemed so pale and small, and worst of all, angry. His dark eyes seethed with loathing as soon as he saw me approach with Takeshi. He didn't say a word to us; mainly because he didn't need to. The way he stood if we came near, all stiffened and formal, told us more than either Takeshi or I wanted to know. It was just heartbreaking.

Maybe he is heartless now.

Additional Author Notes: Don't worry, this all adds up to a happy ending. I just wanna fuck with Satoshi's life a little bit more, though. It seems that his actions may have burnt their fair share of bridges, ne?

Teh, all you guys know the drill by now. Comments and helpful criticism, send to me, while flames will feed my evil kitty since I am too poor to buy her cat food on a regular basis.

Ja ne!
munky