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The FBI killed the Russian, American, Italian and Japanese organized crime organizations known as the mob(s) yesterday but the Canadian mob continues to ellude the FBI primarily because there is no Canadian mob. The FBI is searching for the leader of the non-existant mob known as Jean C., he's considered liberal and extreamly French. The RCMP is working with the FBI to take this mobster down reports some guy. Our sources tell us the RCMP have and even Canadian civilians have been trying to get rid of Jean for decades but with no success.
Lose Monkey
Earlier today a tropical monkey native to the area broke into the Willywash Zoo in Iceland and caused havok. After picking the locks on the monkey cages he released the birds, snakes and even the domestic cats. Animal control and zoo personel did all they could to stop the terrorist monkey but their efforts were unsuccessful. The monkey commented, "Ooo, ah, ah." before urinating on our reporter. He then scratched his unmentionables before heading back off into the jungle. Since it was in Iceland, this is all the news we could obtain.
Single Men Wanted
Hi, my name is Kyle. I'm not supposed to put my personal ad here but since no one reads this anyway and I am the president of everything special and gay I will get away with this. First, I want someone that is willing to settle for less. Obviously, they can't be smarter than me because I want to be the dominate one for a change. It would be nice if they brushed their teeth but I'm not that picky. Preferably they don't wear underpants or shirts and they've got to have a nice ass (that means it's got to be waxed, I don't want another Hairy Barry on my hands.) I want someone that's always been a man, not someone that just became one.
Now about myself: I'm a tall, athletic, blone haired, blue eyed Scorpio... and I'm a firefighter, currently attending Boyle School. I like video games, romantic walks off the peer, getting drunk, show tunes, and sex. I'm told I'm average in bed which is better than nothing. I am not a woman. I like to think of myself as very mature physically but not mentally. I am special. Did I mention I like sex? If interested please call me at 1-800-des-prat or e-mail me at [email protected].
The Tuck-In Scene: This is a classic, original, masterful, one-scene movie that can not be matched. The Tuck-In Scene by Eric Korbut and Jody Pratt is the number one movie for last year says the Newlow Post. Anyone that doesn't like it has serious mental problems and should be shot. If you don't like it, we don't like you says Eric. The well-developed plot of this outstanding, smart, intelligent, suspenseful, sexy, thriller will be impossible to match says Jody but they plan on making many better movies and have already made at least two better scenes. See it. It's good.
Tina's Sex Romp: Tina's a small town strait girl gone wild when she goes to Vegas to become a lesbian stripper and drug dealer. Then Bonjovi, her pimp from Africa decides to cheat her out of her hard earned money. That's when the twins cum in. Who also happen to be robot warriors from the not too distant future. They take Bonjovi outside for a spanking and the bad boy Bonjovi learns a valuable lesson, twice! Then the story goes back to Tina when she becomes an actress for Playboy (r) and is magically turned into a very bad bunny. Watch the fur fly in this Super Station Original Movie. The critics gave this movie two stars but I give it a full erection. The plots a little thin but then again, so is Tina.