Disclaimer:  “ER” is property of Warner Brothers Television, NBC, and all respective producers and cast.  I have written this story for fanfiction and nothing else.  I am not making a profit from this.  This is simply for fanfiction enjoyment. **

Spoilers: None

Rating: PG-13 for strong language and some violent scenes.

Summary: Mark is the victim of a hit-and-run and is severely injured.  As the search goes on for the man behind the wheel, Elizabeth is there for Mark every step of the way.

Acknowledgment:  I’d like to thank Lori (SixteenOzs) for all her help with this fanfic!! She is a wonderful M&E fanfic writer!!  Thanks Lori!!!

In A Heartbeat

Her colleagues around her became a blur as she heard commands that she had become so familiar to.  Donald Anspaugh was in the room, ready to operate.

“Elizabeth,” Anspaugh addressed calmly.

Tears were now streaming down Elizabeth’s cheeks once again.

“Donald,” she said rather curtly “let me scrub in.”

“No,” Anspaugh said bluntly, looking hard into Elizabeth’s eyes, “please wait outside.”

Elizabeth hesitated, looking down at Mark.  There was never a time when he looked more vulnerable.

“Elizabeth,” Anspaugh said gently, “I can do this. Mark’s in good hands.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath before speaking. Anspaugh returned to making sure Mark was prepped for surgery.

“Did you page Benton?” Elizabeth asked, her voice much more steady, “I mean, because… he operated on Mark...”

“I paged him,” Anspaugh confirmed.

As if on cue, Benton burst through the doors.

“What’s going on?”

Elizabeth turned around.

“Mark’s bleeding out!” she explained, her voice thick with fear.

The sheer terror in Elizabeth’s voice sent chills up Benton’s spine.  As he scrubbed up, his adrenaline went into high gear for the second time that day.  He observed Anspaugh through the window as he washed his hands for the surgery.     

            As soon as she got outside, Elizabeth leaned against the wall next to the OR doors and cried.  Tears flowed down her cheeks as she hid her face and slid down to the ground.  However, her cry was not letting everything out.  For some reason, Elizabeth was not able to fully cry yet.  Her body was still numb from the shock, and she was holding back.

Meanwhile, in the OR, Benton and Anspaugh were trying to find out why Mark was bleeding out.

“Get me 8 units of O neg NOW!” Benton shouted. 

An orderly rushed out of the room.

“Come on, Mark,” Benton said, looking down at his friend’s body, “hang in there.  Just hang in there.”

He gently pressed down on Mark’s chest and listened with his stethoscope.  Benton barked out instructions as he made an incision on Mark’s chest.  Immediately, blood began pouring out.

“Oh, GOD!”

            Anspaugh gasped trying to catch his breath.

Shards of Mark’s broken ribs had somehow made their way to his vocal cords.

“Why the hell didn’t I see this before?” Benton scolded himself out loud,

Benton and Ansapugh spent the next three hours controlling the bleeding.  They discovered that many parts of Mark’s larynx were damaged beyond repair.  As surgeons, Benton and Anspaugh would have normally cut these parts out, but Benton left Mark’s larynx as it was.  Although all their medical knowledge told Benton and Anspaugh to cut off the damaged parts, they knew that if they did, Mark would lose all hope of recovering his voice.

As soon as he was rolled out, Elizabeth was at Mark’s side. Benton followed Elizabeth back to the SICU.  Fatigued and exhausted, Benton struggled to talk to Elizabeth.

            “Why was he bleeding out?” Elizabeth asked the same question she had been asking in the OR.

            “Elizabeth …” Benton said softly, “umm… Mark’s vocal cords were… severed.”

            Elizabeth gasped in horror.

            “I don’t know what we can do about it…” Benton started to say, but Elizabeth caught every word, “he’s stable for now.  It’s just something we have to think of later on.”

            “Thank you,” Elizabeth said, expressing her deep gratitude.  Benton just gave her an understanding glance as he patted her shoulder and headed home, completely exhausted.

            Once Elizabeth was back in the SICU with Mark, she sank into the hard chair next to his bed.  She held Mark’s hand with one hand as she caressed Mark’s face with the other.  Mark suddenly seemed to be half of his already thin figure.  His frail, pale body laid motionless.  Then suddenly, Elizabeth felt like talking to Mark even though she knew he couldn’t hear her.  For the next hour, she talked endlessly about just about anything; how much she despised Romano, telling him about how the weather was like when she was in England.  Then, she started to recollect romantic moments they shared.  When she reached the recollections of the previous morning (by now, it was early the next morning), she had to stop.  Tears had begun to well up in her eyes once again.  Her one-sided conversation was cut off when she saw Carter approaching the doorway.  He entered the room, holding a paper bag.

            “Oh!” she said in surprise, “Carter!  I forgot all about you!”

            Carter smiled.

            “It’s okay,” he said gently, “One of the surgeons told me what happened.  I just thought you needed some time with Mark.”

            Elizabeth smiled.

            “So what happened to our dinner?” she asked.

            “Malik devoured it before I could get it upstairs.  It’s okay, though, I got you some breakfast.”

            “You really didn’t have to do that,” Elizabeth  started, but Carter interrupted.

            “I wanted to,” he insisted, “There’s some French toast, an omelet, and some pancakes.  You’re probably starving by now.” With that, he left the room, Elizabeth thanking him as he walked away.  Elizabeth ate her breakfast in silence.  All the while, she held Mark’s hand.  Finally, exhaustion took over her, and she fell asleep, resting her head on Mark’s bed. 

            She hadn’t been asleep for more than ten minutes when she felt something move on her hand.  Elizabeth jolted awake, realizing that she was holding Mark’s hand, she clasped her hand around Mark’s.

            “Mark?” she said softly.

            She looked intently at Mark’s face for any slight movement.  His eyes began to move under their eyelids and slowly, he blinked and opened his eyes.

            “Mark,” Elizabeth called, squeezing Mark’s hand, “It’s Elizabeth .”  Mark turned his head.  Once he saw her, his mouth spread into a smile, but the smile was restricted within the confines on the respirator.  His eyes darted around the room as Mark realized where he was.  Eyes wide with fear, he looked up at Elizabeth.

            “Mark,” Elizabeth said, quickly taking him into her arms, “It’s okay.  You’re alright.”  As she said this, Elizabeth gave Mark a gentle embrace and looked directly into his eyes while caressing his face with her hands, "You… ummm… were,” Elizabeth stopped as she felt the lump in her throat get bigger, “hit… by a car. But-you’re-okay.  You have a broken ankle, arm, and a pneumothorax, but you’re going to recover.  It just takes time.”

            Mark’s panicked stare softened as he felt Elizabeth’s arms around his face.

            Elizabeth kissed Mark’s forehead, and finally, Mark was able to lean back and recover from the initial mental shock of waking up.

            Elizabeth looked at Mark, knowing there was one important thing she had to tell him.

            “Mark,” she said gently before fear could force her to back down, “Your v-v-vocal co-o-rds … have been damaged, but you’re okay.”  She stammered as she said this. 

            “You’re going to be fine,” she assured, cradling Mark’s head with both of her hands as she looked straight in his eyes; but her voice wavered, and began to crack. 

            Mark looked back in horror, eyes wide with fear.  He squeezed Elizabeth’s hand.

            Then, Mark leaned back onto the bed and slowly lifted his left arm towards Elizabeth’s face and brushed her cheek.

“Oh.. Mark,” Elizabeth whispered through tears as Mark, though weak, summoned enough strength to try and comfort her.  Elizabeth enveloped Mark in her arms, and once she embraced him, she could bear it no longer.  Elizabeth broke down in tears. Leaning into his arms, she collapsed into a fit of tears, her body shaking and heaving as each tear was shed.  As Mark smelled Elizabeth’s hair in the embrace, he closed his eyes, and opened them.  Tears began to stream down his cheeks and soon, he was shaking too.  Soon, the only sounds that could be heard in the room were the tearful sobs Mark and Elizabeth shared as they embraced.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Elizabeth didn’t know how long they stayed embraced in each others arms, but finally, sheer exhaustion forced Mark to lie back. 

            Realizing he was still on the ventilator, leftover tears stung Elizabeth’s eyes as she focused on Mark’s mouth.  The respirator tube was taped over it.  She had seen so many patients depending on a respirator to breathe; some went off it right away, others needed it for the rest of their lives.  Seeing Mark depend on it, for the first time, Elizabeth realized just how menacing it was.

            “Mark,”  Elizabeth said, “can you breathe deeply for me?”

            Mark nodded, knowing just what she was going to do.  Mark breathed in a slow, struggled breath as Elizabeth kept her eyes on the respirator monitor.  Folding her hands, she made a silent prayer that Mark would breathe deeply enough.  The monitor raised to the minimum level required, and this time it was Elizabeth’s turn to breathe a shaky breath.  She breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Mark.

            “You’re okay,” she said, smoothing his forehead with her palm.  After a pause, she asked.

            “You ready?”

            Mark nodded weakly.  Ever so gently, Elizabeth grasped the tube of the respirator.

            “Now blow, really hard,” she said firmly.

            Mark nodded, knowing the drill.

            Elizabeth squinted her eyes as she gently but quickly pulled out the tube and Mark blew.  As soon as the tube was out, Mark coughed hard several times, leaning forward and wincing as the pain in his wounds arose.

            “Oh, God,” Elizabeth gasped.  She cradled his head in her arms, gently rubbing his back.  After a few shaky breaths, Mark leaned back, his breath slowly returning to normal, or as close to normal as he could get.

            “I’m so sorry, Mark,” Elizabeth said after a short silence, her voice going a mile a minute, “God, if-I-could-get-my-hands-on-the-bastard-who-did-this-to-you.  But-don’t-worry, Mark-we-are-going-to-get-through-this…”

            As Mark laid on the bed, looking at Elizabeth, and hearing her ramble, he stretched out his arm and gently placed his hand on her mouth.  Immediately, Elizabeth stopped talking.  Taking her hand in his, Mark slowly brought Elizabeth’s hand to him.  Pressing her hand on his chest, Elizabeth looked inquisitively as to what he was doing.  Her heart skipped a beat when he gently pressed her hand on his chest.  She felt a faint heartbeat as Mark placed her hand over his heart. 

            “Elizabeth, I’m okay,” Mark mouthed as he kept her hand over his chest so that she could feel his heartbeat.  Cringing, Mark spoke his first words since being hit by the SUV, but no sounds came out.  Although he had anticipated this, it still didn’t mitigate the pain and terror of not being able to speak.

            Speechless, tears started welling in Elizabeth’s eyes.   

            “I love you,” Mark mouthed the words staring deep into Elizabeth’s eyes.

            “I love you too,” Elizabeth replied, smiling.  It was the first genuine smile she had on her face since the paramedics quickly unloaded Mark’s stretcher onto the roof of Cook County General Hospital. 

            Mark laid back on the bed and shifted to his side so that he faced Elizabeth, who brushed the side of his face with the back of her hand.

            “Get some sleep,” she said softly.

            Mark mouthed some words that Elizabeth could not understand.  After several attempts at gestures, Elizabeth could tell Mark was getting frustrated.

            “Here,” she said gently, handing him a pencil and a notepad she had in her lab coat pocket. 

            Mark rolled his eyes, but smiled. 

            Still laying on his side, Mark scratched out what he was trying to say and handed it to Elizabeth .

            It read:

You need some sleep too.  Go home and get some sleep and a hot shower.

I’ll be ok.

            Elizabeth smiled.  Though the note was a bit messy, to her, it was worth more than any painting in a museum.  From that moment, she vowed to keep every one of the notes.  She read the note twice, knowing that Mark knew just how she would respond, but she would try anyway.

            “Mark,” she started to protest, “I’m not leaving you here…”

            Mark held up his hand, lifting it just a few inches off the bed.  Elizabeth stopped talking as he took the notepad back and started writing again.  This time, he wrote so long, he had to stop to rest momentarily before writing again.  Intrigued, Elizabeth tried to sneak a peek.  Mark was writing and holding the pad to the bed with just his right hand and arm.  He had shifted so that he lay on his right side.  Though the bed was soft, any pressure to Mark’s side hurt him.  However, this time, under morphine, the pain was bearable, and besides, Mark would go through any amount of pain for Elizabeth.  Even if he was just writing her a note.  When Elizabeth tried to sneak a peek, he smiled and carefully pulled the pad up so that the back of the pad faced her.  Elizabeth grinned back, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.  She purposely slowly tried to take a peek, knowing that she could have easily sneaked a peek before Mark had the chance to face the pad away, but she didn’t.  Finally, Mark finished, and handed it to her, resting back on the bed.

Elizabeth , you are my heart.  My joy.  My laughter, my soul.  You keep me alive.  It is because of you I am here.  You have given me the will and strength to fight.  I LOVE YOU, Elizabeth, and I don’t want you to worry about me.  But I don’t have much control of that, do I?

          Elizabeth beamed when she read the question and looked at Mark.

            “No, you don’t,” she giggled, then read on:

But I worry about you right now.  And if you don’t want me to worry, you would take care of yourself: for your sake and mine.  How about we make a deal?  Getting hit by a car, suffering a pneumothorax kind of takes the energy out of you.  I’m exhausted right now.  Why don’t you stay with me until I fall asleep (which won’t be very long), and when I do, go home. 

          “But Mark,” Elizabeth started to protest, but he pointed back down at the note:

Ah, ah ah… no buts.  This Morphine is going to knock me out for hours.  Trust me.  Now is it a deal?  Please?

Elizabeth looked up from the note to Mark and smiled. 

            “It’s a deal,” she agreed, kissing Mark on the cheek.

            Leaning back in bed, Mark took Elizabeth’s hand in his as he settled in to sleep.  Elizabeth stayed right by his side, holding his hand with her right while smoothing his forehead with her left.

            Within a matter of minutes, Mark’s breathing settled into a steady pace, and his grasp on Elizabeth’s hand loosened.  

             Reluctant to leave, Elizabeth stayed with Mark well over an hour before she even rose from her seat.  When she did, she rose slowly, taking a longing look at Mark as she walked out of the SICU. 

            “Page me when he wakes up,” Elizabeth told the RN at the desk.  She punched the elevator button to go down to the first floor, and when the doors opened, Kerry stood inside.

            “Kerry,” Elizabeth greeted, a little surprised by her arrival.

            “Elizabeth,” she said gently as she walked out of the elevator.  Putting a gentle hand on Elizabeth’s arm, she asked how Mark was doing.

            “He’s okay…. I guess…,” Elizabeth responded, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself, then with a slight smile she explained, “He demanded that I go home for a shower and to freshen up… but if-you-want-me-to-stay….”

            “It’s okay, Elizabeth,” Kerry replied, “I’ll watch over Mark.”

            Feeling tears well up in her eyes again, Elizabeth tried to hold them back, but the sting in her eyes forced her to blink as two tears streamed down her cheeks.

            Kerry opened up her arms and Elizabeth gave her a short hug. Elizabeth knew Kerry was just trying to help.  In fact, she was being as great a friend as ever when she needed comfort the most, but nothing would compensate or even alleviate her grief until she felt the healthy, strong embrace of Mark.  She never embraced others the way she embraced Mark.  Elizabeth sighed as she knew that she would receive a lot of open arms from her friends in the ER and in the OR, but every time, she would feel that awkward empty feeling she felt now, because no embrace was compete unless it was in the arms of Mark Greene.

            She looked longingly towards Mark as Kerry made her way to the SICU.  Then, before she could hesitate again, Elizabeth walked down the stairs.  Fumbling around her lab coat for her keys, she realized the keys were in Mark’s locker.

            Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth went into the Doctor’s Lounge, silently hoping that none of her colleagues were there.  She was too emotionally exhausted to have to try and explain Mark’s condition to another colleague.