Chapter Sixteen:  Revelations

 

***

 

Evy walked languidly down the ornate hallway.  She knew that in one of these rooms there was extra bedding, she just had to find it.  She ran her hands through her wavy, impossible hair.  There was no hurry to do anything here.  The palace was empty and cold.

 

She had left Alex to finish making the bed while she found more clean blankets.  The nights were getting cooler as the season pushed further into the autumn.  Pushing open a door Evy poked her head in.  Just a reception room.  Evy sighed.  There was no one around she could even ask.  She would just have to wander around until she found it, in this tomblike palace.

 

She approached another golden door and pushed it open.  Storage.  As she turned to leave the room she heard a voice behind her.  “What are you looking for?”

 

Anck-su-namun stood, looking at Evy curiously, but without anger.  “Oh,” Evy stammered, surprised to see the Queen standing before her, looking immaculate as always.  “Erm, I was looking for the extra bedding,” she stammered out.

 

“Oh,” Anck-su-namun said, relieved.  “This way, follow me.”  They walked for a minute in silence, around a bend in the hallway, and down to a gleaming wooden door at the end of the hall.  “In here,” she said, motioning inside.

 

“Thanks,” Evy said awkwardly, stepping inside the dark room as Anck-su-namun quickly lit the oil lamps on the walls of the small but warm little room.

 

Evy looked for a moment in silence through the sheets and pillows.

 

“I was just thinking,” Anck-su-namun said awkwardly.

 

Evy turned around.  “What?” she asked, startled.

 

“I was thinking about the old days,” she said, with surprising shyness.  It was interesting, Evy thought, that when Anck-su-namun was a mere concubine she was bold and self-confident, but as a Queen she was just the opposite.

 

“Like what?” Evy asked curiously.

 

“Just how it was before...” the Queen paused.  “In some ways I miss the bustling, happy palace of the old days.”

 

Evy nodded.  “I always loved running through the busy halls as a child.  It was my playground.”

 

Anck-su-namun nodded and smiled briefly.  “Nefertiri...” she paused.

 

Evy waited.

 

“Do you hate me?”

 

The question was so simple, so direct, Evy was taken completely aback.  She stood there in silence, entirely unsure how to answer.

 

She thought back over her long, complex relationship with Anck-su-namun.  They had never been friends, they had each hurt each other greatly, and had even at one point been enemies.  But hate?  No.  Evy felt sorry for her more than anything else.

 

She knew her slavery was not Anck-su-namun’s doing.  It was Imhotep’s.  It was Imhotep who must be stopped.

 

“I don’t hate you,” Evy replied softly.

 

“It’s just...” the former concubine breathed a sigh of relief.  “I never hated you,” she admitted.

 

“Really?” Evy asked, stepping towards her.  “I always thought that you did.”

 

Anck-su-namun shook her head.  “No,” she said.  “No, I never hated you.  I was jealous of everything that you had.  The protection of your father, a life that was your own...”

 

Evy swallowed.  “I never knew.”

 

“I was cruel to you because you had everything I wanted.”  Anck-su-namun met Evy’s eyes.

 

Evy shook her head.  “I didn’t have everything you wanted.  I was just as much under his control as you were, just in different ways.”

 

Anck-su-namun sighed.  “But you were free, at least in privacy, to see and be with the man you loved.  I never had that privilege.”  She sat down on the floor on top of one of the huge cushy comforters.

 

“What?” Evy asked, puzzled.

 

“You had your Med Jai.  Do you not remember?” Anck-su-namun asked, looking gently up into Evy’s confused face.

 

“Menmet, I think, was his name,” Anck-su-namun continued.  “I spoke to him once.  I remember his kind eyes.”

 

“Menmet,” Evy said softly, remembering.  “You spoke to him?  To Rick?” she asked, the memories flooding back.

 

“Yes.  He made me a promise that day, the only time I ever spoke to him.”

 

“What promise?” Evy asked, moving to sit on the floor beside the Queen.

 

Anck-su-namun smiled gently.  “It matters not.  He could not have helped me anyway.”

 

“Helped you how?” Evy asked with interest.

 

Anck-su-namun looked away.  “It was foolish, I suppose, but that night, the night I died...” she took a shuddering breath.  “When the Med Jai stormed in, he was not there.  I had thought–” she swallowed.  “But he was not there, and I knew it was hopeless.”

 

“I don’t understand,” Evy began, confused.  “What do you mean–”

 

“Where was he that night, Nefertiri?” Anck-su-namun asked, drawing Evy’s attention away from her question.

 

Evy tried to remember.  “The night, the night you killed my father...”

 

Her eyes glazed over as her second self drifted further into the memories.   “That night of blood and horror...I remember...I saw my father dying...” she felt herself drifting back in time, to a clear night, as she stood on the balcony, watching them stab her father...“he was crying out, but there was no on there...my love, Menmet, he was coming to my rooms, he heard my screams...” she could almost feel his warm arms around her waist again...“I jumped, I fell, and his strong arms were around me...he pulled me up, he saved my life.”  She spoke with a kind of wonder, an awe at the vividness of the memory.

 

“That long night, as Ramses directed the Med Jai to find Imhotep, Menmet stayed with me...he held me, I was shaking with fear and anger and sorrow...he held me, he calmed me.  He was there for me.  He saved me from madness with his love.”  She shook herself slightly, coming out of the trance, the memory vivid and branded into her heart.

 

***

 

Nefertiri awoke just before dawn, her face and eyes dry from crying.  She slowly disentangled herself from him, sitting up on the plush couch.  In the uproar of the previous night, no slaves had closed the curtains or brought them fresh water.  The room was dark and cold, almost as if, in the turmoil, the Princess and the Med Jai had been completely forgotten.

 

Nefertiri shook out her long wavy hair, enjoying the cool early morning air on her skin.  Would someone remember that they were there?  Was it possible, in the dark night, that she and Menmet had floated quietly away, drifted from the world of men into the world of fantasy and memory?

“Love,” he said, turning over slightly and placing his hand on her lower back.  He had stayed with her the entire night as she cried herself to sleep.

 

She offered him the shadow of a smile.  “Thank you, my love.”

 

He shook his head.  “It is nothing.  How do you feel?”

 

She swallowed, unsure, looking slowly around her.  “I don’t know.  I feel numb.”

 

He sat up completely, drawing her into his arms again.  “I am so sorry for your loss, my Princess.  I will never let anything bad happen to you again.”

 

She tried to smile, but it faded into disbelief and sorrow.  “I just cannot believe it.  My father, Imhotep, and Anck-su-namun–all dead in the same night.  And Ramses–he will now be Pharaoh.”

 

“Your brother is strong,” Menmet replied.  “He will be a good leader.”

 

Nefertiri shook her head.  “So much life now just...gone.”

 

He held her close.  “But you will live.  And I will always be by your side.”

 

***

 

“I did live, that much was true.”  Evy shook slightly at the next memory as it hit her full force.  “But he was not always by my side.”

 

Anck-su-namun gazed at her, unsure of what was coming next.

 

Evy’s lips twisted in a bitter parody of a smile.  “The next morning Ramses and I were married.”

 

 

***

 

“My sister,” Ramses spoke, coming towards where Nefertiri stood, clothed in the robes of a Queen.  He kissed her on both cheeks and took her hands in his own.  “I am sorry I was unable to come to you earlier.  So much has happened.  There were many plans to be made.”

 

She gave him a hollow smile.  “I understand, my brother.”

 

“I am as devastated as you are,” Ramses continued, “but it is my duty to take the crown and restore order immediately.  You of all people will understand why it must be so.”

 

The Princess nodded, unable to look him in the eye.

 

Ramses touched her cheek gently.  “You knew this day would come, sister.”  And it was true.  Egyptian royalty always married their own siblings, to keep the royal bloodlines intact.  She had known that this would happen.  But there were so many drastic changes in her life, all at once, she could hardly take it in.

 

“I know, my brother.  We will each do our duty.”

 

Ramses nodded, satisfied.  “The Priest is waiting in the great hall for our presence, to conduct the official ceremony.  Are you ready to become Queen?”

 

Nefertiri finally raised her eyes to his own.  “Not as ready as you were to become Pharaoh.”

 

He bristled at that.  “Nefertiri, do you really think I am glad our father is dead?  Do you think this is easy for me?  But I must be strong, it is my duty to be strong.”  He sighed, wanting her to understand.  “I have been raised, my entire life, for nothing but this moment.  I was born and bred to become Pharaoh after my father.  And so here I am, fulfilling the purpose of my life.”

 

She was so tired.  She could not find the words to express her exhaustion, her frustration, her fear, her anger, and her deep and enduring sorrow.  So she merely bowed her head.  “Forgive me, brother, for my harsh words.”

 

“You are forgiven.”  He took her arm and they began their long walk to the grand hall, where all the Egyptian aristocracy had hurriedly gathered after an early morning summons.  The royal siblings turned down the final hallway, which was filled with Med Jai.

 

Every ten feet another stood, straight and tall and unmoving, his hand on his scimitar.  As Ramses and Nefertiri walked they passed many familiar faces.  She searched for Menmet’s, but she did not see him.

 

“They have failed us,” Ramses said coldly as they walked.  “They allowed a great tragedy to occur.  This can not be forgiven.”  To Nefertiri every small step was like torture.  This walk to her crown was beginning to feel like a walk of death, her last rites intoned before she was spirited off to the otherworld.  She wobbled slightly.  Was this real?  Was all of this really happening?

 

“I will send most of them to campaign in the East, to prove their loyalty and bravery once again.  The men guarding father last night will be executed, of course.”

 

Nefertiri forced herself to nod, her vision blurring and her head beginning to ache.

 

They stopped at the large golden doors, and two Med Jai slowly pushed them open.  Without looking, the Princess could hear the murmurs of the gathered crowd, could feel their expectant eyes.

 

Ramses stopped and turned her towards him.  “Sister, I have been told of your little romance with the Med Jai.  I do not expect us to be in love, but you must not be seen with him.  They are now a disgraced people.”  He smiled broadly, turning to look into the large golden room, and to the jeweled crown awaiting him.

 

“It is time to be married, and fulfill your duty.”  Nefertiri lowered her head in submission.

 

 

***

 

“The Pharaoh needed an heir,” Evy said, acknowledging her ancient purpose. 

 

“And so you bore them?” Anck-su-namun asked, trying to picture the grandchildren of the man she hated.

 

“Yes.  I bore them.”  Evy spoke, wonderment filling her voice as she remembered her progeny for the first time.  “My children, my three boys.  All three were boys.”  

 

Anck-su-namun smiled wistfully. “I wish I had been alive to see them.”

 

Evy smiled, an ancient mother’s pride at her children shining through.  “Ramses became Pharaoh after his father died.  He was crowned Ramses II.”  She smiled again.  “And Sethnakle, my middle child, he was named after his grandfather.  He was the curious, inquisitive one.  Ramses was wild and stubborn, but Seth was intelligent.”  Her smile broadened as she lost herself in the fresh memories of her ancient children.  Her smile faded slightly, and her next words were spoken with a surprising sadness.  “I lived a long life.  I lived to be an old woman.”

 

Anck-su-namun lowered her eyes.  She had given up everything for love–her youth, her life, her position of power and privilege.  Despite all that Imhotep strove to give her, all Anck-su-namun wanted was a simple life of love by the side of her man.  She had wanted to grow old beside him, and bear his children.  And she felt irrationally jealous of this woman’s life–this woman who had lived, who had grown old, who had died, all in the natural order and laws of the cosmos.

 

Evy continued, sadness in her voice.  “I outlived you all.  I outlived my father, my mother.  I was a young woman when you and Imhotep died.  I lived to see my sister Dedi die of fever, my other sister Rahankh die in childbed.  I saw my husband–my brother–die of battle wounds.  I lived to see none of my generation survive.”  She shook her head.  “I lived too long.  There was no one left.  When I died, there was no one who remembered when we were all young togther, and in love.  There was no one left.”  Tears began to spill down her cheeks.

 

Anck-su-namun moved softly and placed her hand on Evy’s, the closest the two women had ever come.

 

“You did not die alone.  You were honored.”

 

Evy shook her head, the tears sliding down her cheeks.  “Yes I was honored.  I was the queen.”  She looked up suddenly, into Anck-su-namun’s eyes.  “Just as you are now, I suppose.”

 

Anck-su-namun turned slightly away.

 

Evy continued, looking at the former concubine.  “I had power and wealth and children.”  She took a deep breath.  “But no love.  Not like you.  You have everything now, don’t you?  You have wealth and power and the man that you love.”

 

Anck-su-namun pressed her lips together, trying to retain control of her emotions.  “Perhaps in name, Nefertiri.”

 

Evy laughed softly, but without bitterness.  She laughed with a sense of wonder and hopelessness at the unpredictability of the Gods.  “I always thought that you had been punished for your sin of murder.  But now, you have come back, and have everything you were denied in life.  I think perhaps the Gods make a mockery of our pain.”

 

Anck-su-namun shook her head.  “I think the Gods make a mockery of us, but not in the way that you think.  They laugh not at our pain but at our ignorance.”

 

“And how are we ignorant?” Evy asked, tucking her thick brown hair behind her ears.

 

“We think we know what we want, or what will make us happy.  But we don’t, Princess.  We don’t.”  Anck-su-namun closed her eyes.

 

“So you thought being Queen would make you happy?” Evy asked softly, gently touching Anck-su-namun’s hand.

 

The Great Wife of the Pharaoh, Mother of the night and of the day, and Queen of the World looked up into the sympathetic eyes of a woman she thought she could never even like.  And she found herself wanting desperately to confess, to confide in her.  Evelyn O’Connell was the only person who remembered how their lives had been.  She was the only person who could understand her.  They had never been friends.  But perhaps that time was over.  Perhaps this was a new beginning, a new history.

 

“Yes,” Anck-su-namun finally admitted.  “But I am so lonely.”

 

And after a thousand lifetimes of strife and pain and anger and hatred, Evy allowed her father’s murderer to lay her head against her shoulder.  The cycle was broken, the bridge had been crossed.  The two women–each who had been both a slave and a Queen–offered each other comfort.

 

***

 

Ramses smiled at her as she held their second child, little Seth.  He was only two months old, and little Ramses, now four years old, jumped up and down, trying to get a look at his baby brother.

 

“You have done well, my sister, in providing Egypt with heirs,” Ramses said affectionately, patting Nefertiri on the head.  “You have given us two beautiful little boys.”

 

“I’m not beautiful!” Ramses shouted indignantly, tugging at his mother’s dress.  Nefertiri laughed.  It had been five years since the death of her father, and she had mostly adjusted to her new life.  She and Ramses were fond enough of each other.  She was learning to be happy.

 

The nurses arrived and took Ramses and Sethnakle away, giving the Pharaoh and the Queen a few moments in private.  He took her arm and they strolled down the corridor together.

 

“Do you ever think of what life would be like if father were still alive?” she asked suddenly, halting and looking up into his face.

 

“Every day,” he responded, and Nefertiri knew her brother had mourned the deaths as much as she.

 

***

 

“What happened to Menmet, Nefertiri?” the Queen asked.

 

Evy looked up, her eyes wide and beautiful.  “I, I don’t remember,” she began, the painful memories long ago tucked into the recesses of her heart.

 

Anck-su-namun shook her head, smiling mildly.  “That I do not believe,” she said.

 

Evy allowed herself to float away as she searched the ancient part of her soul.  She allowed herself, her modern self, to dissolve, until she almost became Nefertiri.  And suddenly, as the water rushes from a broken dam, so the memories flooded upon the Princess’ consciousness.  And Evy finally allowed herself to remember the most important aspect of her life: her love for her Med Jai, for Rick.  Her enduring love.

 

“He lived long too, but I hardly ever saw him.  Ramses–” he voice caught.  “Ramses, although he did not love me as anything more than a companion, forbade our relationship.  After all, the Med Jai had failed to protect my father so completely, the tribe were mostly disgraced.  Many were sent on military campaigns in the east.”  She took a shuddering breath, and then continued.

 

“Menmet, I think, could not bear to see me married to another.  We went from that night of love and comfort, with him by my side, to the next morning my marriage to another man.  And not just any man–the Pharaoh, the son of the man his people had, in a sense, betrayed.”

 

“So what happened?” Anck-su-namun asked.

 

“His sense of duty was so strong, his sense of honor so powerful...he loved his tribe, his people, this land...and he had sworn to protect it.  He could not break that oath, the oath of his people.”  Evy wiped away a stray tear.  “And I was a Princess.  I too had my duty to my ancestors.  I was born to produce Egypt’s next Pharaoh.  My purpose may sound trivial or meaningless, but that was my duty to my people.”

 

“But did you not consider running away together?” Anck-su-namun asked sympathetically.

 

Evy nodded.  “Yes.  But I was already married.  And he felt such guilt for what his people had done, and we were both so honorable–too honorable.  We knew that even if we ran off to be together, the betrayal would eat at our souls.  We could never be truly happy.”

 

Anck-su-namun nodded, wondering what life would have been like if Imhotep had succeeded in raising her from the dead.  Could they have been happy, with Seti’s murder lying on their souls?

 

“Menmet requested one military campaign after another, often returning with garlands of victory.  I probably saw him only five times in those first twelve years.”  Evy’s eyes glistened, consumed with the ancient pain.

 

She let out a hollow laugh.  “Those wars changed him.  And every time he returned to his homeland I was pregnant or had a child about my legs.  I was not the young woman he had fallen in love with.  I was a mother, I was a Queen, and I too had changed.”

 

Anck-su-namun’s eyes glistened, wholly compassionate with Nefertiri’s story, a story she had never heard.

 

“When we spoke it was awkward, strange.  Our lives had become so separate.  And I think he felt so guilty for Seti’s death that he could not betray his son by loving his wife.  He was too honorable for that.  He honored my brother as more than a king.  He served him to atone for the sins of his people, their failure.  And it destroyed us.”

 

Evy sighed, pressing her dry lips together.  “He loved me, but he could never stop feeling guilty for that love.”  She paused, remembering.  “The last time I saw him he returned for Ramses 14^th birthday party.  It was a huge spectacle, my son’s entrance into manhood.  Menmet returned, a war hero.  My son practically worshiped him, as boys worship generals with garlands and medals.  And all I could think was that Ramses should have been Menmet’s son.”  She blew her nose with her handkerchief, using her palm to wipe away another stray tear.

 

“That last time, we stole a few minutes alone together, but we barely touched.  We were now older, I had silver in my hair.  He had heavy lines about his neck, and a recent scar on his cheek from battle.  I think it was then that we both accepted that we were old, that too much had happened, that we would never be able to love each other openly, as we should have.”  She paused again, caught up in her memories.

 

“He returned to battle, but it was said that he rode straight into the enemy without his sword drawn.  They hacked him to pieces.”  She drew a shuddering breath.  “I know because I demanded to see the body when it was brought back.”

 

Anck-su-namun stroked Nefertiri’s hand, knowing that the telling would ease the pain.

 

“He let himself die because there was nothing more to live for.  I had failed him.  His people were disgraced.  And it was ironic that it was only the next spring that Ramses died.  Only those two short seasons later I was a widow.”  She bowed her head, exhausted with the telling of her story, a story that spilled forth from her ancient soul, a story she did not even know she knew until it poured from her mouth.

 

The two sat in silence for a moment, both absorbed completely in the tale.  “So your son was crowned at age fifteen?” Anck-su-namun asked, drawing Evy away from her inner pain.

 

“Yes, my son was strong and brave.  I helped him, but he truly did not need my help.  He had his grandfather’s arrogance in many ways,” she said, smiling through her tears.

 

Anck-su-namun was able to smile too.

 

“Oh Gods,” Evy moaned, leaning her head against Anck-su-namun’s shoulder.  “I did my duty to my country, to my homeland, to my ancestors, and to my Gods.  But what did I sacrifice?  Did I make the wrong choice?”

 

And even Anck-su-namun could not answer that question.

 

***

 

“Do you still love your Med Jai?” Ramses asked, turning towards her.

 

Nefertiri lowered her eyes, unable to answer him.

 

“I will not be angry.  He is a great warrior, and a good man.”  He peered into his sister’s face.  “My wife, speak to me.”

 

“What does it matter if I still love him or not?” she asked bitterly, for the first time betraying her emotion.  “You forbade our relationship, when there was still a chance for us.”

 

“You think I acted wrongly?” Ramses asked, surprised.  And Nefertiri understood that although her brother genuinely cared for her, he would never understand her wholly.  And her heart was pierced with a sadness so intense for a moment she could not feel.

 

“It matters not, brother,” she said, turning slightly away, tears clinging to her dark lashes.  “Everyone, no matter how highly born, must sacrifice to serve.”

 

“What do you mean?” Ramses asked, confused.

She finally met his eyes. “Each person serves a different purpose, but together we form the order of life.  I have accepted my own sacrifice, and my place in the great chain of being.”

 

“You truly believe that?” he asked.

 

Her eyes probed his own.  “I must believe that, in order to live the life that I do.”

 

But perhaps he understood her more than she wanted to admit.  “We all strive to give meaning to our lives, my Queen,” he said, reaching for her hand.  “A life without an all-consuming love of a man still has its meaning.”  He patted her hand.  “You are the mother of two boys, you are Queen of this great land, you are a symbol of beauty and grace to our people.  And you are my wife.”

 

She gave him a half smile.  “And I will have to be content with that, my husband.”

 

 

***

 

 

“So,” Anck-su-namun said, the irony evident in her words.  “We both loved men we couldn’t have, and belonged to men we didn’t love.”

 

“Yes,” Evy replied.  “But my father loved you.”  She spoke wistfully, without pain.  Her voice was full of sadness.

 

Anck-su-namun turned away.  After a moment she spoke, without anger, but with regret.  “He was never unkind to me.  In a way, he treated me like a child, like a toy to be enjoyed.”  She shook her head slightly, her long black hair swinging back and forth.

 

“Do you regret it?” Evy asked in a quiet voice, hardly trusting herself to speak.

 

Anck-su-namun gave a small smile.  “You mean now that I know what happens?”  She paused, looking down at her hands.  “Maybe I should have settled, the way you did.  Maybe I should have just lived with my situation.  I have brought about so much pain.”

 

Evy bit her lip.  “I am beginning to think that in life there is no absolute right and no wrong,” she said honestly.  “Life is complicated, and each of us makes our individual choices.  We must live with our choices, and accept them, for if we do not we should all go mad.”

 

Anck-su-namun’s face reflected the shadow of a sad smile.  “Thank you Princess.”  She stood, slowly stretching out her limbs.  “It’s getting late.”

 

She made to move towards the door, but looking down at Evy, she spoke.  “You, like me, found your love again in this lifetime, and were able to be happy.  Perhaps we suffer in one lifetime to be rewarded in the next.”

 

Evy smiled.  “I would that were true.”  Her smile faded.  “I miss Rick so much.  He and Alex are my entire life.”  She paused, remembering, her eyes gleaming.  “He held me in his arms as I died.”

 

“When I stabbed you,” Anck-su-namun said softly, remembering what Imhotep told her she had done as Meela.

 

Evy nodded.  “He held me and told me he loved me.  I felt like more than my life was being ripped away.  It was like part of my being was being torn from my soul.”

 

Anck-su-namun bowed her head, hiding her own silent tears.  “When I was about to die in my bedchambers, the Med Jai striding into the room, my love ran from me,” she murmured, almost to herself.  She turned to leave.  As she reached the door of the room she turned to Evy, who was still sitting on the floor.

 

“Your husband is still alive.  He is a slave, one of the many who are building this palace.  I have seen him.”

 

And then she was gone.  But she had given Evy more than hope.

 

***