: : Summary : : Jonathan takes deliberate and secretive steps in an attempt tofind peace of mind, but he learns he can't control the fate of others. Parts of this story relate directly to 'Sins of the Brother' so you might feel like reading that first to save any confusion with this.
The lack of applicants for the positon disheartened Jonathan. Still, expecting more
in such troubled economic times could be described as overly hopefull. The
world was changing and war in Europe seemed imminent. Most of the able bodied
young men were enlisting, not commiting themselves to a subservient life to the
upper classes. Finding one man amongst millions seemed impossible.
Since Grace had asked him to find this Charlie fellow, his interest in her situation
had faded some. As he saw it, it was the same old story. He was being replaced
with the latest model, again. He had to convince himself to keep searching, after
all he knew she'd move on sooner or later. He kept telling himself this even as he
slipped back to the familiar faces surrounding the gamling tables. His old
weakness? Perhaps his firm friends? The line was beginning to blur for him.
"Isn't this where I was when I decided to dig myself out months ago?" he
thought to himself as he surveyed the drunk and sweaty crowd around him. He
was even sitting in the same dive where he decided his life needed meaning. He
was feeling totally defeated and completely ridiculous where Grace was concerned.
What was he thinking all these months? Did he really think he was going to make a
difference to this girl? Anyone could have seen how it would end. "Anyone but me."
he complained to himself. But, as luck would have it, his was about to change.
A group of young enlisted men had crowded around the bar and were loudly
applauding their own bravery. He watched them for a while, wondering if the
army was his answer. "Oh for crying out loud!" he thought "I'm either becoming
desperate or delirious!"
Over the course of the night, Jonathan kept one eye on the game and the other on
the soldiers. He couldn't explain his interest in them, just a gut feeling. On one or
two occasions he thought he'd heard the name Charlie mentioned, but he dropped
his hand when he heard one of them joking that "...driving tanks will be a damn
side more interesting than driving that self-righteous, tight fisted bastard around
the rest of my days."
"Ooohh!" said Jonathan joyfully "This is just too bloody good to be true!" and
stole his way into their bunch by way of a bottle of whiskey. He held their attention
by buying most of the drinks, all the while getting better acquainted with the one
called Charlie. His usual foray of being backwards at coming forward almost lost
him chance as the man tired of Jonathan's nonsense and mentioned to his
companions about making the move home. Panic overtook him and he blurted out
loudly "GRACE!" The look on Charlie's face was all Jonathan needed to continue.
"I know a girl called Grace and she talks quite a bit about a man like you. Same
name in fact...Charlie." He stood looking a Jonathan, still saying nothing. "Do
you know her? he continued. Charlie took Jonathan firmly by the arm and led him
to the other end of the bar. "By jeez, you've got the same grip as my brother-in-law.
What is it about soldiers that turn them into apes at the mere mention of their
girlfriends?"
"You know where she is?" The look of concern on the man's face gave Jonathan
renewed hope. Perhaps he was going to make a difference after all. "Gracie, that
is? She's alright is she?"
"If you're the bloke I'm looking for." Jonathan made a point of trying to stare him
down "What's your full name, son."
"Grenfell. Charlie Grenfell."
It was him alright, but Jonathan played him for more information. Reason being he
didn't want to completely mess things up by escorting an imposter to Grace's
doorstep, but he was also enjoying his position of power. A shamefull gamblers trait,
but a fun one none-the-less. "Where were you working before you joined up?"
"For the old man Darcy up near Oxford Square. Used to drive for him, until he threw
me and Gracie out." his eyes never left Jonathan's "Cunning bastard he was. He
got rid of Gracie before me, sent her packing to her old man's. By the time he threw
me off, it was too late to find her. All I got when I went looking was a couple of
broken ribs, compliments of her father's cronies." Listening to his story, Jonathan
couldn't help but wonder what angel had dropped this man into his lap. His tale
was almost identical to what Grace had told him. "Where is she?"
"You know of course, that she's....Grace is..." Jonathan stumbled over his words.
"Having a baby." Charlie finished for him "I looked for her for months and got
nowhere. I joined up in the end out of hoplessness if nothing else. It's like she
vanished into thin air." Jonathan felt a little guilty at his confession. He'd been so
engulfed in fulfilling his own ambitions of gaining a better opinion of himself he
hadn't considered the destruction he might be leaving in his wake.
"Come along with me." Jonathan said at last "She's quite safe...and will be more
than a little happy to see you." then looking at him added "I can't vouch for that
uniform though."
As the two men made their way though the London night, they traded stories of
what brought them together. When they finally reached Grace's lodgings,
Jonathan stood back and pointed the way. "It's late, but under the circumstances
I don't think she'll mind."
"You'll not walk up with me, then." Charlie's nerves were beginning to crack.
"No, no." Jonathan assured him "You don't need me getting in the way. Go up,
say hello, decide what you want to do and let me know." Jonathan handed him his
card, saying "Telephone. I can arrange it from there." The two men shook hands
and Jonathan watched the younger man walk through the front door and disappear.
*****
It was a week later when Evelyn approached him as he sat on the back verandah
drinking his scotch, lost in his thoughts.
"You've been quite the homebody this last week, Jonathan. Everything alright?"
"Oh yes" he answered looking up at her "A friend of mine had a baby girl a day
or so ago." he quickly waved the letter he had received that morning. "The
father's an enlisted man, being shipped out in a month."
Evelyn didn't know how to respond, she wasn't aware he had familiy orientated
friends, let alone patriotic ones. She did know, however, that something was
troubling him and she quietly sat beside him waiting for him to speak again. He
leaned back a little and said to her "Evie, remember a while ago I promised to
let you in on my little secret? She nodded, fearing he was going to tell her the
baby was really his "Well, it's rather a long winded epic of sorts, might take up
most of your afternoon if you're not careful."
"Well, Rick's working, Alex is at school until at least four and Brigit is asleep."
Her brother was about to open up, she wasn't going anywhere "My complete
attention is happily at your disposal."
"You might be sorry you said that." he joked as his voice halted and he caustiously
began his story.
Evelyn sat and listened intently. At first astounded at what she was hearing and
not completely certain that Jonathan wasn't on another one of his drunken rambles.
As he weaved his way she found herself believing him, her heart aching for all of
them. When he finished he sat there looking at her, waiting for her to say something
...anything. She realised then that she was crying and hadn't said a word the entire
time he'd been speaking. "Where are they now?" was the best she could manage at
the moment.
"From what they tell me here..." he looked at the letter "...it appears they're in the
married quarters and the dockside barracks."
"Re-united briefly, only to be torn apart again by this cursed war everyone's seems
to be expecting." Evelyn sighed.
"Am I cursed, do you think, Evie?"
"Oh Jonathan! I hardly think so." she wanted to sound consoling, but could see
what he meant. "You did a wonderful thing, you should feel proud of yourself.
Although if there's a next time you might not feel the need to be so secretive about
it."
"That's not what I mean, girl." he sat staring into space "Apart from the small
heroic here and there, I seem to have spent my life as some useless appendage
causing more trouble than anything else." he looked directly at his sister "Evie, I
must be the bane of your life."
She reached out and touched his arm "No, that privilege belongs to two others who
I'd rather not mention." Evelyn smiled at him "Jonathan, you've been part of my life
for my whole life, I can't imagine what it would like without you. You don't need to
prove yourself to me or anyone. Believe it or not, I love you as you are." He half
laughed, half scoffed at this "You shouldn't feel lesser than anyone else." She reached
out and touched his shoulder. "You saved me at Ahm Shere, you and Alex together
Your life hasn't been completely wasted you know."
"Well, being my sister and all..." he looked a little embarrassed
"Not everyone follows the same path in life. God knows, if I hadn't been so pre-occupied
with the Book of Amun Ra and Hamunaptra I never would have met Rick and most likely
spent my life re-organising library books." She could tell by the look on his face that she
wasn't getting through. "What I'm saying Jonathan, is that by following your own path,
you find your own destiny. Reaching out to help someone along the way is wonderful,
but ultimately you have to be willing to help yourself first of all."
"And what you're saying is..." Evelyn had embarked on sermons like this her entire life
and he still had trouble unearthing her point."
"Be at peace with yourself Jonathan. You're loved just the way you are. You mean the
world to Alex and he gets to be terribly naughty with you."
"He likes my stories too." Jonathan laughed, then he reflected "I haven't done too badly,
I suppose. Have I?"
"Not at all." Evelyn smiled.
"All things considered, it could have been a lot worse."
"Much worse, if it hadn't been for you." Evelyn playfully punched him "Big brother."
END