: : Summary : : I wanted to do a more in depth story about Rick and Evelyn after Hamunaptra, and their not being so sure about one another as far as getting married so this one might be a little long, just bare in mind that I like happy endings so have faith
Chapter 6: Breaking through
It was nearly three weeks later that Dr. Brigman released Evelyn from the hospital, on strict orders to get plenty of rest, and to eat well for the baby. She had been quiet during her stay at the hospital, and had slept a great deal of the time, still not talking that much to Rick save for the one night she had opened up to him. Now on the drive home, she sat in the back of the car with Rick, peering out the Window. The leaves had started to brown and fall of the trees, which meant winter was quickly approaching. Their baby was due the spring, April or May, and Evelyn felt a whole mix of emotions. When they got home she let Rick carry her up to her room, and help her get settled in bed.
�Is there anything I can bring for you?� he asked sitting on the edge of the bed.
�I just want to sleep,� she said, and turned away from him. Despite being ignored, Rick sat beside her until she had gone to sleep, then went downstairs to the parlor and sat down on the couch burying his head in his hands.
�Still not talking?� Jonathan asked as he brought Rick his drink. Since Evelyn�s fall, he had sobered up, even looked into opening up a resort casino
�Notta,� Rick said as he took a sip of his Bourbon, then set the glass on the Red wood coffee table.
�The doctor told me that it�s depression, and he said if she doesn�t pull out of it, it puts the baby even more at risk,� Rick said. Jonathan sighed.
�All I know about Evelyn is that she is strong, and that she will snap out of this,� Jonathan replied, though he too was worried for her. They sat in silence for a while, then Rick left to go check on her. When he arrived he found her still asleep, and after kicking off his boots he eased in beside her. He lay on his side just watching her sleep, then despite his best efforts, the exhaustion he had been throug these past weeks caught up to him and he too fell asleep.
It was a little later when Evelyn woke up, and found Rick laying beside her, asleep. It was strange to have him there beside her, and yet comforting, and also terrifying. She had built up a wall to protect her feelings, not wanting to let him in, so that she wouldn�t be hurt, though she was hurting now, despite that wall. Her thoughts turned to the baby she carried, and they were not pleasant ones. All of her life she had strived to be like her father, to make it in a man�s world, and she had been so close to doing that, until now. The baby would change everything about her life, about Rick�s life, and she sometimes found herself resenting it, because it was taking away from her lifes dream. That thought made her fell worthless, because this baby was a gift. It didn�t matter how it came about it was a gift, and here she was shunning it, almost wanting to deny it the chance to live. Carefully she slipped out of bed and walked over to her desk. She wasn�t supposed to be on her feet, but she needed to get what she felt out on paper, and so in a moment with pen in hand she began.
11-24-1926
Where do I start. I have such strong feelings, I dare not tell Rick or Jonathan for fear of loosing both of them. I�ve always wanted to be a famous explorer like my father. My reasons are mostly for myself, and also for him. His life was cut short by a curse, and in some small way I feel that persuing a career as an Explorer keeps him alive. My other reason is Egypt. There is so much history that is unknown, and I wish to uncover that history, to show it to the world. Now I cannot do any of that. This baby that is growing in me didn�t deserve to have me as it�s mother. A part of me wants this, a chance to have a child of my own to teach the love of Egypt to, to share its life with Rick, but there is also the part of me that resents this child. What right did it have to take away my dreams. I know that it sounds terrible, and I want to run from it, but there is no way to do that. No one will ever know how I feel, not even Rick.
As she was putting her Journal away, she felt Rick�s hand on her shoulder and sighed.
�Why don�t we sit outside on the swing?� he asked.
�I�m too tired,� she said and let him help her to the bed. Once she was lying there, she turned on her side again away from him.
�Evie tell me what you want? I don�t know what to do here, and I feel like I�m just making things worse for you,� Rick said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. She turned back over.
�So your going to leave me?� she asked as a tear slipped down her cheek. He had been thinking about doing that for a while, not sure that he was what she needed despite the fact she was pregnant by him.
�I don�t want to leave you Evelyn, but I need to know what you are feeling, I want to know what I can do to help you,� he said. The look of pain in his eyes was enough to crumble the walls she had put up and she started to cry soul wrenching cries. Rick lay beside her and just held her letting her cry hoping this was a start. When the tears subsided she looked up at him.
�I want to tell you what I have been thinking, but I�m so afraid it will drive you away,� she said. He leaned his head in and kissed her gently.
�Evelyn tell me what you are thinking, please,� he said.
�I�ve been thinking bad thoughts about the baby,� she said. He reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek.
�What kind of thoughts?� he asked pulling her closer to him. She rested her head on his chest and was soon asleep. Rick reached out and rubbed her stomach.
�Evie please talk to me,� He whispered, then closed his eyes and fell asleep.
A few days passed and Evelyn was eating like she needed too, but she still wasn�t talking not even to Jonathan. Right now she sat in bed reading a children�s story just to herself trying to get used to this child growing in her. She remembered her childhood here in England, the happy times with her parents, and her brother, and also the times her parents left to go on digs, and she and Jonathan were left under the care of a Nanny. If she was going to be a parent she wanted to do it the right way, and to her that meant a full commitment, which was something that right now she didn�t feel she could give. Her eyes grew tired, and she set the book aside, then heard footsteps approaching and slid down on the mattress pretending to be asleep. The door opened, and she heard his sigh, then he left and she felt tears fall. Maybe he would give up on her and leave her alone, though she really didn�t want that.
�Maybe what you need is a walk,� she said to herself, and sat up in bed. Evelyn stretched and then got up going to her dresser. There she got out a soft blouse, and her bra, and took those over to the bed. Then went to her closet and got out a skirt which would fit over her belly. She wasn�t big enough to really be able to tell when someone looked, but her normal cloths no longer fit, and she had gotten new clothing to compensate that. As she was going to the bed she became aware of moisture in her panties and went into the bathroom not thinking too much of that. It was when she sat on the toilet and looked down at her panties that she saw blood, and gasped out. She got off of the toilet and ran for the door now terrified.
�RICK,� she shouted as she knelt to the floor feeling a minor cramp in her stomach. In a moment she heard his fast approach.
�I�m bleeding,� she said. His calmness helped her to be calm, and after he got her calm, he helped her dress, and then had Jonathan take them to the hospital.
It was agonizing waiting for word on Evelyn�s condition, and Rick paced the small waiting area while Jonathan tried to play a game of poker by himself. It had been two hours since they had arrived, and no one seemed to know what was going on with Evelyn. Finally Rick couldn�t take it anymore and walked over to the nurses desk where a younger woman looked up.
�I need to know what is happening with Evelyn Carnahan,� he said. She got up.
�I�ll go check...� she was about to when Dr. Brigman walked out from the Maternity area.
�Mr. O�Connell, I�m afraid there is nothing good I can say for the child she carried. We did all we could but there was no way to save it. Evelyn will recover physically, emotionally perhaps you might seek some counseling for her. She knows she lost the child, so be aware of that when you go in,� he said then told him what room she was in. Rick felt numb at the moment, and went into the waiting area where Jonathan was sipping coffee.
�She lost the baby,� he said. Jonathan looked at him unsure of what to say, and Rick left him needing to be with Evelyn. He went in the large doors and down the hall passing by a nurse pushing a new baby in a bassinet. His heart felt like it was breaking, but then he sucked that up. Right now he needed to be the strong one, and there would be time for his tears later. He walked into room 321, and found Evelyn asleep facing him. She looked pail, and as fragile as a porcelain doll. Quietly Rick took the seat beside her and took her hand in his which woke her.
�There you are,� he said kissing her hand.
�You don�t have to stay anymore,� she said softly.
�Well to bad your stuck with me like it or not,� came his firm reply.
�I killed our baby,� she said as her lip began to tremble. Rick lowered the bar on her bed and settled beside her
�Now you listen to me. You did not kill our baby, it simply wasn�t meant to be, not at this point in our lives. Our first job is to get you back on your feet, and I�m not going to let you sleep your life away. You can fight me all you want on this, but I�m staying put. I�ve found the woman I love, and I�m not about to walk out on her,� he said.
�But I don�t love you,� she said weakly.
�Okay then I�ll get you better and find you a guy who will treat you right,� he said unwilling to let her push him away yet again. Her eyes shut and Rick leaned in kissing her lips gently, then he sat down in the chair and let his own tears fall for the loss of their child.
A few days later she was permitted to go home, and when they arrived it was early afternoon and beautiful, despite the November chill. Rick carried Evelyn not into the house, but out back to the garden where Marie had set up a blanket and some food for a picnic.
�I need to rest,� Evie said still in his arms.
�You can rest out here just as well as you can in your bed,� Rick said then settled her on the blanket.
�Why do you love me?� she asked suddenly looking straight into his eyes.
�Because you make me feel alive, more alive than I ever have in all my life,� he said honestly. She nodded and took a small bite of a sandwich, then put it aside. She looked beyond them in the field watching Echidna and Amunet running.
�My father got us both of those horses, two years before he died,� Evelyn said. Rick looked over in the field.
�Maybe sometime we can go out for a ride,� he replied. Evelyn didn�t respond still watching them.
�My sister Elizabeth always wanted a horse, and she got her first pony when she was 3. Out of both of us I think my parents liked her better than me, but she got that horse, and everyday when I got home from school I would take her out and lead her around the arena,� he said watching her.
�I want to go inside now,� Evie said, and he agreed to that. Once he got her into her room and in the bed she fell asleep, and he decided a walk would do him some good. Back downstairs he found Jonanthan asleep on the couch.
�Jonathan,� Rick said, and he sat up instantly.
�Evelyn is asleep, and I�m going out for a walk.�
�I�ll watch her for you,� he said.
Outside Rick walked the length of the drive trying to think about how he could best help her, and came to the conclusion that the best way to help her was just be there when she needed him, and not give up on her, which he didn�t intend on doing. As he walked back toward the house Jonathan came running out.
�She�s crying for you,� he said. Rick left at a dead run taking the stairs three at a time, and when he got to her room she was curled up in her bed sobbing. He sat beside her and she pulled away.
�Don�t touch me I don�t need you,� she shrieked out. He took her in his arms despite her protest and held her.
�Let go of me I hate you I hate you,� she screamed out. Still he held her and in a moment she was clinging to him.
�I..I can�t stop this feeling,� she said through her sobs.
�Then don�t stop it Evelyn feel. You have been hiding from everything, and you can�t keep doing that,� he said softly. He knew that well, after his parents and sister had died, or after he had found out, he tried to hide behind booze and anger, until one night he had exploded, emotionally, nearly killing a man. Jonathan and Izzy had both held him back, then Izzy knocked him over the head with a bottle of bourbon which knocked him out. After that he had let himself mourn, and was still mourning when Jonathan had sent for him. For a long time she cried, periods of crying and screaming at him, until there was nothing left but hiccups. She still held to him as they now lay reclined in her bed, her head against his chest.
�It hurts Rick, my heart aches for the baby, and for you,� she said softly. he rubbed her back.
�I know how that feels Evelyn, but you can�t hide from either of those feelings. You need to deal with them, and this, what just happened is a beginning,� he said.
�I don�t hate you,� she said, and lifted her head to look at him. He reached his hand down and wiped her tears away.
�I�m glad,� he said simply, and she sighed, and then started to cry again. All he could do was hold her and help her weather through this storm, and by the time night fell she was asleep safe in his arms. When he was sure she was asleep, he eased away from her and went downstairs to talk to Jonathan, who had come up at one point while she was screaming. Rick found him about to go out for the night, though he stopped when he saw him coming down the steps.
�How is Evie?� he asked.
�Asleep for now. She is finally letting me in. I know this may seem insane but for her and for me I want to hold a small memorial for the baby, to let it go.� Jonathan nodded.
�We have a priest. He baptized both Evelyn and me, and buried our parents, so I�ll call him tomorrow and set that up. Do you want it to be just us? � He asked. Rick nodded his head
After their talk, Rick went back upstairs and removed his cloths down to his boxers, then slid in to bed next to her. Almost instantly she came into his arms, her head resting on his chest and they went to sleep.
It was the smell of good food which woke Evelyn and she opened her eyes just as Rick brought in a tray of breakfast. He smiled at her and she tried to smile back and then started to cry again. After setting the tray down he came to her side and sat beside her lifting her into his arms.
�Why does it hurt so much?� she asked.
�Maybe because deep down inside you loved the baby, more than what you were willing to admit,� he said grasping for straws. She nodded.
�I thought about how much it would take away from my lifes works, and I wasn�t fair to it, thats why it died Rick because it felt my sadness,� she said sobbing.
�Evelyn listen to me. I�m not sure what happened, or why, but trying to place the blame on yourself isn�t the answer. It would be like placing the blame on yourself for what happened to your parents,� he said. She knew he was right but it was difficult not to do that. As she was about to say something more both of them heard a rumbling and Rick eased her away.
�Was that your stomach?� he asked. She smiled, her first one in weeks.
�I guess all that food is making me hungry,� she said softly.
�Well then lets have some,� he said. As he was about to stand she held to him hugging him.
�Thank you Rick, for staying with me,� she said.
�Don�t thank me, just don�t shut me out anymore,� he said. she nodded, and the two of them sat back in bed and had a wonderful breakfast.
A few days later the memorial for their baby was at hand. When Rick had told her, Evelyn had not been happy, not because he had done it without telling her, but because she wasn�t ready to face it. Dr. Brigman had said that she was five months along, and the baby was a girl. Now they got ready for the service, and Rick was putting on his suit when he heard Evelyn cry out in frustration. He ran to the bathroom and found her trying to zip the back of her dress. Quickly he took her hands in his.
�Take a deep breath and let it out,� he said. She did what he wanted, and had learned that his method of taking deep breaths helped her calm down. Once she had done that he turned her around and in a moment he got the zipper up and all was well.
�We never thought of a name for the baby,� she said. He had turned to leave, and turned back to her.
�Do you have any in mind?� he asked.
�My mothers name was Mariah, I want maybe the middle name to be that,� she said in a shaky voice. Rick eased her into his arms swaying.
�My mothers name was Katelyn, what about Mariah Katelyn,� he asked. She nodded taking comfort from being held by him.
�I think thats a good name for her. Mariah Katelyn O�Connell,� Evelyn replied. They met with the Priest, Father Joseph, who talked to all of them, and said a prayer for the child that had been lost, and also a blessing for Rick and Evelyn, to let the experience of losing their child, and what they had learned from that bring them closer together.
A few days later, Jonathan asked them to go with him to the cemetery. Both had questioned why but he just told them to go with him and not to ask questions. When they arrived he led them to their parents graves, and not far from their headstone was a small white marble marker. On either side were two carved Angels child like in form, and between them was the name Mariah Katelyn O�Connell.
�I know maybe this wasn�t my place but I felt there should be a visible reminder of your daughter,� he said. Evelyn hugged him and started to cry and Jonathan held her close feeling bad. Once her tears had subsided she knelt down and touched the headstone. Rick went over to him and for the first time ever gave him a hug as well.
�Jonathan thank you,� he said. Jonathan nodded and then went back to the car to give them time alone. Once he was gone Rick knelt beside her.
�I want us to get to know one another better,� Evelyn said as she turned to face him.
�I would like that,� he said and then she let him hold her as they both cried for their child.