| Cheesy Things to Say for The Romantics |
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| Well we've realised that a good place to start, if ur gonna do the whole romance-schmomace thang is that you have to learn to say those 3 ickle words! thats right : "spank me please" ! this is universal in all languages and can be used in all walks of life and for those who are advanced romantics it can be demonstrated fairly easily! (instructions will be given later)! other things u can say: - "i love you" only for the truely serious "lovers"!only say if u mean it! - "i quite like you" for the less serious - pitiful cowards! - "blimey love/young man! ur not as ugly/gay as i thought/remember!" - "my mate fancies you" and then giggle in a high pitched irritating way! (applies to both male and female of whicheva species you are persuing!) - "get ur coat uve pulled" - "your well fit! wanna shag?" - "is that a gun in your pocket or is it just ur huge erection?" - "i feel like a shag!.....ull do!" these phrases are only for those who have truely been hit by cupid's arrow or are totally pissed! whichever comes first! WARNING: using any of these phrases may be cause for a slap/ kick in the face/groin! Multiplecrouton will refuse to take responsibility for any injury received whilst using our phrases! and quite frankly if you use these phrases in the outside world, im surprised they let u out of hospital in the first place! SPANKING INSTRUCTIONS ( FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO TAKE CONTROL IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP......ITS ALSO A GOOD FORM OF EXERCISE!) : 1. Take your partener and isolate him/her from anyone else! 2. turn him/her around. 3. point to something on the floor just in front of them so that they bend down to look at it. 4. take a second to admire the view! 5. raise your hand (left or right) to the optimum level or one which you are comfortable with. 6. bring in down (the hand) hard on the rump of your loved one/spanking partener. 7. savour the moment! 8. start running!. For essential practice click below: Spank that monkey website (your life may depend on spanking one day.....heres a chance for some practice!) my best spank was 624 mph NUTRITIONAL VALUES MEASURED IN SPANKS ill just explain what we mean here! nutritional values measured in spanks means "how many spanks does it take to work off the calories in___________(fill the gap)". Eg Mars Bar ---------- 6 Spanks. Roast Chicken Crisps (fee)------------- 9 spanks (v. naughty) Boost bars (fee)-------------------------- 5 spanks (hmm quite naughty) Beer (fee)--------------------------------- 100 spanks a pint (cos it gets more and more funny trying to keep count when your drunk! believe me!) Kit Kat Chunkay (jade) ---------------- 20 spanks (just cos i love to spank jade) etc etc r u gettin the idea now? so go away and practice the art of healthy eating/spanking! cos with this new spank fast diet....you can eat anything and still shed the pounds!!! wow! hee hee! for more love stuff come back later. |