To celebrate my 19th birthday on the 16th of October, I am holding a party and to that end it would be a great honour if you, my good friends, with whom I've had so many laughs during my days on AOL could attend.
Although the exact format of the celebration is still in the planning phase, I have given thought to the entertainment that will hopefully make the evening successful. Party games seemed to be the way forward however, these were ruled out at an early stage for the following reasons:
Pass the Parcel.
The impact damage to my furniture that will occur upon BBW�s sitting on it when the music stopped was not deemed as cost effective.
Place the tail on the Donkey.
Due to the number of BBW�s expected to attend my function, when I contacted the accident and emergency department of my local hospital I was regrettably informed that dealing with the wounds inflicted by drawing pins being impregnated into their rear ends would be a drain upon the hospital's resources.
Notwithstanding the above I still consider that entertainment during my party will be a vital contributing factor in us all having an enjoyable evening therefore, I have decided to organise the BBW Olympics.
These following events are going to be held; therefore I require the names of any interested parties:
The 100 metre waddle.
Upon my first whistle, the assembled "athletes" will endeavour to "sprint" down a 100-metre track. The first "person" over the finish line will be the chumpion.
To minimise the possibility of dehydration occurring due to the bodies' sudden shock of being subjected to exercise, feeding stations will be erected at points along side the track i.e.
25 Metre point McDonalds
50 Metre point Dunkin Donuts
75 Metre point Burger King
Additionally as an incentive to complete the course a Kebab Van will be placed 2 metres beyond the finish line.
Before too many of you get excited about competing in my Olympics I must warn you that a stringent system of checking competitors for banned substances to enhance their performance will be in place. Banned substances include:
Rice
Fruit
Baked Potatoes
Cereals
Salad
Please RSVP if you wish to attend my party, additionally give an indication of the food you require in order that I can bulk-book it in advance.
