Ryo Sakazaki could barely stand up. No matter what he tried, what manuever he executed, what projectile he threw, his enemy was one step ahead of him every single second of the brutal fight. Ryo knew that it was over, even as he gathered his power for one final attack. Spreading his arms wide, he stood tall and... "HAOHSHOKOKEN!" The massive, oversized, generally not very nice fireball flew forward at an alarming rate of speed, missing Ryo's opponent by a good five feet. The last thing Ryo heard before slipping into a blissful unconsciousness was a loud crunch as his own head was driven into the ground by his attacker. He never heard the three-count. ------------- "Your winner by pinfall and STILL JWF Middleweight Champion, Johnnnyyyyyyyy BRAVO!" The announcer yelled into the microphone. The referee looked up to raise Johnny Bravo's hand in victory, but by that time the victor was already at ringside hitting on a nearby female. "Hey, baby," he said in a very macho voice, "wanna see me comb my hair really fast?" Johnny pulled a comb out of nowhere and ran it through his large blond hairdo really fast, making assorted kung-fu movie noises. This continued until the woman sent Johnny to the floor with a good left hook and stormed off. "She digs me," Johnny said. --------------- "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jack Kaphwan wooooooooooood from Row 16, Seat 12, waving a "Bravo 4-Life" cardboard sign above his head. "What are you doing?" his brother Don asked from Row 16, Seat 11. "I'm being supportive, what do you think?" "It's just that I couldn't help noticing you have 'Sakazaki Forever' written on the back of that sign," Don said, pointing to the sign. A pause. "So," Jack said, changing the subject, "how do you suppose Mom and Dad are doing?" "I really don't want to know what Mom's doing," Don said. The two of them subtly looked over to Row 19, Seats 19 to 22, where Kim Kaphwan, Seat 21, was getting lectured and hit over the head with snacks and a rolled-up program by Jane Kaphwan, Seat 19, with food and swipes of the program occasionally and accidentally hitting Ryuji Yamazaki, Seat 22, and Billy Kane, Seat 20. Billy in particular was beginning to look like a candy apple dropped on the ground at a carnival, with popcorn, gum, and assorted licorice sticking to him and covering around 70 percent of his body. Yamazaki looked vaguely amused; Billy looked understandably like a candy apple dropped on the ground at a carnival. Or have I used that metaphor already? *shrug* Feh. Don and Jack shook their heads and turned back to the ring, where an American known only as Bass was warming up for his match. The announcer started up again. "And his opponent, now entering the ring..." The song "Fire in the Hole" by Van Halen began to play over the P.A. system, which is a horrible, horrible pun as you will find out when you finish the paragraph. "Weighing in at 75 kilograms... winner of the King of Fighters Tournament from 1994 to 1996... he is Kyoooooooooooo KUSANAGIIIII!" The crowd went nuts screaming and cheering, except for a lone redheaded man in Row 23, Seat 44, who began to scream bloody murder about the Kusinagi bloodline. ----------- Now, some of you may be wondering what exactly Iori Yagami, who is with the Kaphwan Reform Group, is doing way over in Seat 44 of Row 23. You may wonder even further what Lucky Glauber and Heavy D!, also with the KRG, are doing in Seats 8 and 9 of Row 24. Well, the way it worked was by the time Kim had called ahead for tickets, most of them had been sold, and they couldn't get tickets for seats with everybody next to each other. (Besides, Jane had asked, what good is the Japan Wrestling Federation going to be for murderers and criminals? Kim, after telling Jane once again that they WEREN'T bad people and they had just taken a WRONG path in life, blathered on for a few minutes about 'proper conduct in crowded places' and 'valuable training', when the truth was that Jack's birthday had been coming up and this was a very nice present.) So, Kim had declared, Billy and Ryuji would stay with Kim and Jane while Don and Jack, D! and Lucky, and Iori would head off and sit in other places. Oh, Ryuji had complained, of course, but Kim had explained that it was merely a snap decision and no offence toward Yamazaki, with the unspoken corollary being "Well, my boys aren't criminals, Heavy D! and Lucky Glauber are very sorry, and Iori will probably be too drunk to stand up, so you and Billy are my biggest wild cards right now, ha ha." This unspoken corollary was further supported when Kim slipped Iori two thousand-yen bills for, quote, "refreshments". Iori went to his seat and bought about 1200 yen's worth of beer before the first match had started. As a result, when Kyo's grinning face was recognized by Iori, Iori's "screaming of bloody murder", as I have put it, was really just sort of a low mumble. But I just couldn't bring myself to not tell you about it. ^_^ --------------- "Say," Don said, "didn't we meet Kyo last year at that King of Fighters post-tourney party?" Jack thought for a minute. "Oh, yeah! That guy!" he said. "MAN, is he a jerk!" "Oh, come on," Don said, "be fair on the guy. I mean, you're no Kim Kaphwan either, are you?" There was a short pause before the two of them broke out laughing. ------------ "Look, Jane," Kim said, smiling his Stop Hitting Me and Transfer Your Attention to Something I am Bringing to Your Notice Smile, which is a very hard smile to pull off and #73 just by the way, "it's Kyo Kusanagi! Remember you met him at that post-tournament par-"*WHAP* Jane took Kim's pausing to speak as an opportunity to get a good shot in with the program. "I don't care." Jane swung the program again, which hit squarely against a small blue portal floating in front of Billy's face. It wobbled for a second before straightening itself out, and a head popped out of it. "Stop that!" The Author said crossly. "And oh, by the way, isn't your name supposed to be LAURA?" "'ey, down 'n front, c'mon!" Billy yelled at The Author before Jane or Kim could come up with a response. "I'm watchin' somethin' 'ere!" The Author blinked. Twice. Then his head slowly retracted into the portal, the portal disappeared, and Billy went back to waiting for Kim's wife to stop attacking him so he could have a turn. --------- Kyo Kusanagi grinned to his fans as he jogged down to the ring. On his way to the ring, he thought he saw a very familiar tuft of red hair in the audience, but dismissed it as his mind playing tricks on him. After all, he didn't have time to worry about Iori being somewhere in the arena, seeing as how he was going to win this fight, collect the prize money, and get something nice for Yuki as a birthday present. Kyo ran up to the ring, slid under the ropes, ran in front of the big American, and expertly whiffed his trademark Oni Yaki attack, sailing above Bass' head. For Kyo, the next five minutes can be easily described as 'Bitch-slap hell'. Bass absolutely crushed Kyo with slaps, punches, slams, Jumping High Kicks, Leg Stomps, Knee Stomps, Diving Cross Chops, and Punch-Punch-Punch combos. Eventually, Bass did his patented "I-LOVE-TINA" taunt (the die-hard Bass fans in the audience started cheering; They knew what was coming). Bass then picked Kyo up, climbed to the top rope, and jumped off the turnbuckle in his trademark Off-the-top-rope-to-the-arena-floor Kamikazi Powerbomb, sending Kyo crashing through the English Announcers' Table. Bass climbed into the ring and the referee counted Kyo out. Only after Bass was announced as the winner was it found and verified that Kyo had no pulse. So, they announced this, as well. There was silence in the arena for several seconds before a yell split the air, and that yell came, on a whim, from Jack Kaphwan, with a second yell coming from his brother Don. "Oh my God! He killed Kyo!" "You BASTARD!" ---------- WHAT WILL OCCUR NEXT DURING THE JAPAN WRESTLING FEDERATION'S NIGHT IN THE LOCAL ARENA? COME TO THINK OF IT, WHAT *COULD* POSSIBLY OCCUR? FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE IN "KING OF FIGHTERS: REFORMING EVIL CAN BE TRICKY, CHAPTER FOUR", DUE, OH, SAY, NEXT YEAR? AH, AH, AH, AH, AH.... I DIDN'T SAY *WHICH* NEXT YEAR! ;)