Yesterday five years ago, I sat in the living room before work and watched a list of victims who had been on the doomed flights scroll across the TV screen. And I cried whenever the victims were twenty-somethings or children. It was a difficult morning to get through.

This September 12th marks an entirely different sort of loss, this one more personal, and for the most part less tragic.

Yet, I can't say that there have been no deaths, because not only did Laura's brother die the last week of August, so did Meredith's husband. Unfortunately, that one cannot be chalked up to a tragic accident. Needless to say, neither of them joined us.

Last night was the final debauchery of the summer. I kid, of course, but it was the last time we'd get together at the pub. Christine left for Paris last week, and Laura as I said already didn't make it, so things were already different. Now Jay leaves for DC tomorrow. I suppose it's possible that even without Jay and Christine we'll go out still, but somehow I doubt it. They were the usual instigators, after all.

But last night was fun in its way, even though we all sensed that something good was ending. Maggie and I were the only girls, which was a little strange but okay. The guys taught me two versions of darts, and by halfway through the night I figured out the point of the rules and memorized them, so I didn't have to ask if I scored points. Cricket was the harder of the two to get the hang of, what with the Xs being circled.

I think my aim eventually got better too, which was an improvement over only scoring by complete accident. At least after a while I began hit the board in the general vicinity of were I was aiming. And, wonders never cease, I cast the winning dart in the second game of 501. Joking, Ed said, "Okay, all you have to do is hit the 13 and we win." (Ed, Jay and I were a team.) I smirked at them and sarcastically promised to. But I actually hit the 13 on my first dart!

Most of the night went by with darts and fairly mundane conversation that I only remember pieces of. We all made fun of Ryan for not knowing any of the Prince songs that kept playing. Maggie was outraged that one of Jay's movers thought she was Jay's mom...and she's younger than him. Jay drank a whole lot to forget that a mover asked if he knew where to "score some good bud." While Ed and Nate got food I confessed that I think Ed is adorable in a puppy or overgrown four-year-old way, and was advised not to tell him that. I found out that guys also like Bring It On, too. Ryan, Ed and I wondered if seeing the same patron every time meant that he had a drinking problem - a "who's the alcoholic here?" joke. Jay and I talked about how bad we felt for Meredith...

And eventually, after giving Jay a hug and asking him to let us know when he'd be back in NH, we all melted into the night.

Friendship is a funny thing. I didn't meet Jay until November and now I'm going to miss him badly. I hope he and Christine will visit home often, and that we'll see them when they do.