I am depressed. One of my fish (the gold & white one in the first entry) died over night. I knew he was sick, treated him for what I thought was wrong, but he died anyway.  I cried for the first time in a long time over my poor dead fish.

I know, how does the death of a fish depress a person? Well, first, Fish and Other Fish have been my only pets for a couple of years, and I read that goldfish can live ten years. He didn't even make it until three. Now I worry about the remaining 2 fish (um, the sucker fish got eaten, but I wasn't attached to him)

But the death of my fish seems like a metaphor for my life. Things I want to change never seem to, but on the other hand things I'd like to stay the same change for the worse... let's say it prompted a lot of negative introspection today.  It's hard not to think of things I want and decide that I'll never get them, since hard work and determination get you no where almost as fast as doing nothing at all.

sigh.