You are
Mulder. You are in your office with your partner who is royally
pissed
at you for ditching her again and who won't speak with you. It's
been
a stressful day, loads of paperwork, and you decide to ask Scully
to end
it early and invite her to an apologetic dinner. She is in front
of the
huge set of drawers, probably searching for a file or two, with
her back
to you, for more than one reason. Just as you are walking up to
her you
drop your glasses that you'd been holding in your hand, and they
fall
down on the ground-- directly between Scully's legs. She apparently
doesn't
notice. You should take a moment to wonder what to do, but you
don't
have time because she could crush the glasses any second by making
just
a tiny step. Asking her to step aside isn't an option either
because
1) she'd probably step on them in the process and 2) most likely
she wouldn't
want to hear you anyway.
And of
course you can't just bend down adn reach between her legs
because
then you'd dive with your head directly under her skirt, and
that
would get you to pee through a catheder for a lifetime.
SO WHAT
DO YOU DO?
Try to
distract Scully by talking to her. A cold shoulder would be far
better
than peeing through a catheter for the rest of my life. Either one is
considered
getting off lucky. That pretty lady is a doctor, and probably
knows
more ways to maim than Lizzie Borden and Lorena Bobbitt put together.
As I make
my feeble attempt to distract her, two things are happening...One,
I'm slowly
inching the glasses out from between her legs with my foot, and
trying
hard not to rub against her. Two, I'm getting pneumonia from the
cold
shoulder she's giving me.
Here again,
Mulder's POV. If my glasses fell between Mulder's legs, Sc**w
subtlety!!!
I'm making the dive of my life, and pray he's wearing that
speedo
at the time.
Heather