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Alive (2/?)
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It's 2 p.m. Mulder and I are in the office; we got back from lunch about an hour ago. And still three hours to go...

I sigh, exhaling my growing frustration against the glass of the computer screen I'm staring at.  We shouldn't be here. Not on a day like this. Not after what has happened.

I want to celebrate.

Celebrate another step we made today, another barrier we got over, one more move towards complete luck, carefree peace. 

To others it might not be as big a deed, as important a step as it is to me, but to me it means very much, and I know it does to Mulder just as much. 

As significant or insignificant as what happened today is, it increases me and him, us, feeling whole in our hearts. And that's all that matters.

I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling. I remember...

Just before lunch break, Skinner had finally relieved us of waiting and let us into his office, with a short nod and a grumbled "You wanted to see me, agents?"

Confronted with that question, I didn't answer but tilted my head slightly up to see Mulder's reaction, decided to let him respond. *I* hadn't been sure about this all day, ever since he'd brought it up, and at this point I still wasn't convinced it was a good idea. 

In fact I didn't have to wait long; after a beat, Mulder replied, "That's right, sir. We wanted to speak to you about something."

Now this seemed to sound weird in Skinner's ears for he looked from Mulder to me, giving me a hard time trying to keep my gaze up, then back to Mulder. 

"Is this about a case?" he asked, his brow slightly wrinkled. 

"Uhm, no. It's something else", Mulder hurried to say.

Again, Skinner let a moment pass then motioned for us to sit which we did.

When he was seated behind his desk, hands folded before him, he let his eyes wander from one to the other of us once again then said, "So? What is it?

Me, intent on letting Mulder finish what he wanted to do so badly, echoed our boss's question with my eyes, giving him a short glance, telling him to go ahead and do a little more damage to both our careers, if not ruin them. 

After a moment of staring straight ahead, trying to look like there is nothing bothering me but not hearing anything from my partner, I did dare and turn my head sideways-- to see him sitting there with his mouth open, not knowing what to say, how to bring it up. 

Great, I thought, and Skinner's inquiring "Agent Mulder?" didn't exactly give me any sort of comfort.

Then Mulder did speak, or did at least attempt to.

"Uhm, sir... actually-- actually we just-- we were hoping to--"

Now that was the point where I couldn't take it anymore. 
"What Agent Mulder is trying to say, sir, is that there have been-- changes for him... and for me... for both of us if you will and that--"
Now I found myself at a loss of words. How could I express to our supervisor that my partner and I have been sleeping together for awhile?

Mulder now tried to jump in helpfully, "And we wanted you to know that-- uhm... from now on..."

Then there was silence for a moment, and Skinner again let his gaze wander from me to Mulder and back, impassively. Until, suddenly, he began to smile, understanding flashing in his eyes. "You're telling me that you two finally made that step?" 

Now that hit home. We surely hadn't been expecting it. Not me, and I could sense Mulder felt just like I did in that moment; I could feel his body tensing up. 
How should we have known he'd just know right away before we even came got to the point?

But then all worry and confusion was immediately taken away as quickly as it had emerged when Skinner's eyes lit up and he began to smile, warmly. 

"So you did it, huh?" he said, getting up and walking towards us, "I'm happy for you." 

While Skinner was shaking Mulder's hand I was still trying to digest the rapid change of prospect and didn't notice Skinner moving to me; I was taken by surprise when he pulled me up into a hug. Gasping, I let a second pass then hugged him back, whispering, "Thank you, sir. Thank you very much."

He let go and looked at me, saying, "No reason to thank me, agent. You should be thanking him", he nodded his head in Mulder's direction, "for finally getting his butt up and showing some courage." 

Mulder's face turned a deep red, just a second before Skinner started laughing hard, a warm, rich, joyful laughter, his body shaking in good humor. I couldn't jeep myself from giggling but then, seeing Mulder pouting a not-so serious pout, I quickly pulled him into a short, sweet kiss, and then the three of us found ourselves smiling at each other before Skinner turned serious and gave us one last , somewhat fatherly speech, "But as much as I am happy for the two of you, caution is at hand. I don't think I really need to tell you that, but I just wanted to make sure that you both know you have to keep this secret-- and I mean really secret." 

Mulder and I, without even so much at looking at one another knew that we both realized every detail of what he meant: If anybody besides him and us would ever know, whether supervisors, enemies, or even co-workers, we could be suffering for the rest of our lives. I could feel, though I was not sure by what, maybe by a change in Mulder's-- call it aura; that he was as touched by Skinner's words as I was.

"Other than that, I wish you all the best-- you deserve it", he then finished.

"Thank you", we both whispered again, in unison this time.

He nodded and then Mulder and I left the room, hand in hand, as our boss, no, friend, dismissed us, a new realization on both our minds:

Mulder had indeed been right. Skinner would not, as I had feared, not ever, betray us, what we have, not ever cause us trouble. He was sincerely happy for our love.

And when we were in the elevator and Mulder pulled me into a soft kiss, I realized what a good feeling it was.