I have a problem with many modern movies.
	Have you noticed that commercials now-a-days have a way of taking totally unrelated scenes from the movie, putting them together, and making you think the movie is a lot funnier, a lot cooler, or a lot better than it actually is? I’m a pretty open minded person when it comes to movies, but I’m tired of being disappointed when I see the movie and I actually was more excited when I saw the commercial. Especially when the commercial ruins the best or funniest part of the movie.
	Something that bugs me even more than that is when someone will pretend they’ve seen the movie, but they’ve only seen the commercials. You can tell because they’ll bring up the funny one liner that ends the commercial or whatever, and you’re like yeah, and what about that part near the end when Willy Wonka dies in a hail of bullets, and they’re like, yeah, and you’re like HA HA! GOTCHA!
	The other thing, the final thing that bugs me about modern movies is that they don’t finish what they start. Prime example, The Wedding Crashers. Owen Wilson is pursuing this young woman (who I swear I’ve seen in a pudding commercial, and I think The Notebook), and her mom thinks Owen’s coming on to her. In fact, halfway through the movie she asks him to fondle her surgically altered (breasts, boobies, knockers, jugs… y’know). Thing is, that’s when it ends. That element of the script disappears. Like it never happened. 
In an older movie, the mother would come back at the end and say to the daughter, right before she makes out with Mr. Wilson, “You know, he touched my boobies,” and then the daughter would slap Owen and the movie would carry on in that manner, but not now. Nowadays we always have “feel-good” endings, with moral lessons. Right? Pshaw.
	I just get the feeling that the script-writer thought of doing my idea, then thought better of it, but wanted to keep that funny bit in the movie. Sure, it is kinda humorous, in a grown-up, childish sort of way (?), but it just makes me think it’s a loose end in the script that never got tied up.

	All right. On to more important things.
	….. uh…. 
	All right, back to mindless bullshit.
	I miss old videogames. The kind I played on my brother’s NES when I was six years old. Like Castlevania III, or Final Fantasy, or Crystalis.
You know what? New games are extremely proud of their graphics, and their physics, and their razzledazzle hootnahah, but they just don’t quite have the challenge of older games. Nowadays, you have motivation. You beat the game and you see the sweet ending credit movie, or you unlock a secret password that you can take online and do whatever with… But not back in the day.
Back in the day (which is what I am now officially going to call it) you had to WANT to win that game. You had to earn it by shuffling green deformed pixels across the screen to fight red deformed pixels. You had to scribble down passwords, guess at bad translations, and try to figure out what the hell your deformed pixel was actually supposed to represent. There wasn’t as much graphic motivation, and the endings certainly weren’t visually astounding. The only real reason I am still playing that very first Zelda, the one in the gold cartridge, is so that I can say I beat it.
There’s just something about the old school graphics, the three note music, the blocky controller… I’m in love with classic gaming.

Oh dear, I’ve gone completely bugnuts. Well, I suppose there’s nothing else I want to jot down right now, so I’ll say “ta-ta” and be done with it.

James “Muffin” Crockett

P.S. I’m sorry if it seems like all I do is bitch. That’s just what kind of mood I get in around this time of year. I’ll try to think of something pleasant for my next blog. Something that will make you feel all warm inside. Like you just swallowed a puppy. Oh, yeah, go here: http://www.oldeenglish.org - some funny, some random, all worth checking out.