I am certainly getting REALLY tired of this..very fast! OK..so NOW I'm trying to be put into phase three of the trial for Antegren. It is from Remicade...but more "humanized".. But I have a question..how can it be MORE humanized..if it wasn't humanized in the first place? Oh well! I hope they know what they are doing. Anyways, My docs are trying to get me in the trial because nothing seems to be working anymore =(. The study is PLACEBO!! How sweet! 6 months long too, by the way. My doctor thinks either I have a fissure or the Crohn's spread to the inside of my rectum now. Ain't that so nice!?! But thats not the best part..If the Antegren don't work..Then theres Erythromycin to try..and one other drug that is bought in Canada..and if both those fail..the last and final option is...a PERMANENT ILEOSTOMY! HAH! No Way..No way in Heck..er..well..lets just say ~No way in *opposite of heaven*~. I think you get my drift!!! Anyways..I think thats alot to try and accept. I had an ileostomy for 6 months..and it was a living nightmare. I could not imagine what it would be like to live with it forever. For the rest of my life! I've read about it and everything..YEARS ago. I thought for sure I'd never be faced with it, and now here I am..faced with it! I wonder why sometimes life is so hard..and how people are chosen to get sick..But if I would have never gotten Crohn's disease..I wouldn't be the person I am today..and I would have never met so many nice people. So I guess in atleast one way I am lucky! Being sick does make you closer with your family and loved ones. Especially when you have a near death expirience. Then you realize how precious life really is. It can be taken away as easily as it was given. Be happy all!

If you'd like to read the next Update, continue on to update 14.

Return to Updates page

Back to my personal info

Back to the Destiny page

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws