The Educational Process
The educational process for a special needs child can be a nightmare. From the beginning, it was obvious that attending school would be much harder for Mom and Dad, than Samantha. I remember Tina, crying for days...wondering if someone would be there to help Samantha open her milk at lunch. Would they understand Samantha well enough to know when she needed to go to the restroom? The pricipal assured us that the entire staff was prepared for Samantha's arrival. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
A few weeks into the school year, Sam came home wearing somone else's clothes. When Tina contacted the school, she was told that Samantha had "soiled" herself while sitting in class. It was suggested that Tina take Samantha to the doctor and have her checked for a bladder problem. The following week, we met with Samanth's teachers for a conference. Halfway through the meeting, Samantha's teacher felt the need to explain her frustration. "Let me give you an example of what we are facing with Samantha," she said. "Samantha", she continued, "Go to the bathroom and get me a Kleenex." Samantha turned away from her teacher to look at Tina and I...as if to ask, "What is she talking about?" Sam's teacher, then turned to us and stated, "See, she just doesn't seem to understand!"
The anger I felt, at that exact moment, was unimaginable. We were standing in an office, in a part of the school Samantha had never seen. "Samantha," I began, "does not know anything about this room. She knows two bathrooms...the one she uses at home, and the one she uses here, at school. As for the Kleenex, she doesn't know the word because we never use it. We call them 'tissues'." Had they taken Samantha into the hall, and told her to go to the bathroom, and get a tissue, Sam would have performed the task completely.
There are two approaches to educating a special needs child. You can take what services the school has to offer, and hope the child can adapt. Or, you can list the needs your child has, and demand tha the school adapt their services to meet those needs. Initially, we took the first approach...not becuase we chose to...we just didn't know any better. Back then, we were simply grateful that someone was trying to help us. But, as we became more and more involved in Samantha's educational plans, we found a reluctance, on the part of the school, to make any changes, in regards to what would be best for Samantha. It soon became apparent that when it came to working with children with special needs. the school system's approach was clouded by budgets and allotments. That is when we got angry...no, that is when we got mad!
A team of specialists had told us that Samantha needed to be taught, and use, sign language to help augment her lack of verbal skills. When we shared this information with the school, we were told that they had no teachers who knew sign language, and that they would, instead, use picture boards and gestures to help Samantha. At that point, Tina scheduled a new IEP meeting, contacted the local child advocacy center, and declared war on the school system.
This IEP meeting did not even remotely resemble anything we had previoiusly experienced. When the IEP committee pulled out their pre-printed forms, the advocate slung a legal pad up onto the table and stated that it would be used to hand-write Sam's new IEP...and we did!
We left that meeting, knowing that we would, henceforth, have to fight for every educational tool Samantha would ever receive. We also decided that the fight is worth it! Samantha...is Samantha...and she will get the help she needs!
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