COMPUTER TERMS

       Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

       Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern

       Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick

       Byte - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro

       Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps

       Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

       Terminal - Time to call the undertaker

       Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited

       Digital - The art of counting on your fingers

       Diskette - Female Disco dancer

       Fax - What you lie about to the IRS

       Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking

       Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos

       Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

       Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere

       Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food

       Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers

       Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall

       Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live

       Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

       Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test

       ROM - Where the pope lives

       Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

       Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast

       Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year

       SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear