Bar Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.  He orders a drink.  While
>      he's drinking, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The
monkey
>      grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced
>     limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue
>      ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
>      The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
>      did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my
pool
>      table, whole!" says the bartender.
>      "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron.  "He eats
>      everything in sight, the little bastard.  I'll pay for the cue
>      ball and stuff."  He finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves.
>      Two  weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with
him.
>      He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again.
>      While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
>      cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out,
>      and then eats it.
>      The bartender is disgusted.  "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
>      he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron.  "Well, he stuck a
>      maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!" says
the
>     barkeeper.
>      "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron.  "He still
eats
>      everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he
>     measures everything first!"