| 1. |
Birds of a feather flock together
and crap on your car. |
| 2. |
There's always a lot to be
thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking
how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. |
| 3. |
When I'm feeling down, I like to
whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. |
| 4. |
If you can't be kind, at least
have the decency to be vague. |
| 5. |
Don't assume malice for what
stupidity can explain. |
| 6. |
A penny saved is a government
oversight. |
| 7. |
The real art of conversation is
not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong
thing at the tempting moment. |
| 8. |
The older you get, the tougher it
is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. |
| 9. |
The easiest way to find something
lost around the house is to buy a replacement. |
| 10. |
He who hesitates is probably
right. |
| 11. |
If you think there is good in
everybody, you haven't met everybody. |
| 12. |
If you can smile when things go
wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. |
| 13. |
The sole purpose of a child's
middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. |
| 14. |
Did you ever notice: When you put
the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
"THEIRS" |
laughs have been passed around