• For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious!
• For those who have children nearing this age, this is awarning.
• For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
• For those who have ever thought you should have had children, this may end those thoughts forever! 
• The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor woman).

• A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.foot house 4 inches deep.
• If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they canignite.
• A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
• If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
• You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.  When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
• The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words'Uh-oh, 'it's already too late.
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
• A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
• Certain Lego pieces can pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
• Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
• Super glue is forever.
• No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water
• Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do
• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
• You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens
• The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

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