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| Hormone Hostage |
| Every "Hormone
Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his
mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common
as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other. |
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? DANGEROUS:
What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
DANGEROUS: Should you be
eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
DANGEROUS: What did you
DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe. |
| TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR |
| 1. |
Pass My Shotgun |
| 2. |
Psychotic Mood Shift |
| 3. |
Perpetual Munching Spree |
| 4. |
Puffy Midsection |
| 5. |
People Make Me Sick |
| 6. |
Provide Me with Sweets
|
| 7. |
Pardon My Sobbing |
| 8. |
Pimples May Surface |
| 9. |
Pissy Mood Syndrome |
| 10. |
Plainly; Men Suck |
| 11. |
Pack My Stuff |
| 12. |
Permanent Menstrual
Syndrome |
|
Q:
How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to
change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is
BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE Days before they figured it out. And,
once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact
that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some
miracle actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the
STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER
THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@!...HOUSE!
I'm sorry...what did you ask me? |
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