If you are reading this, you've stumbled upon the secret section of my site. Whenever times get tough, or I just need something to write my feelings about, I write songs. They may not be Grammy caliber, but they come from the heart and soul of my feelings and emotions. Keep that in mind. Note: this stuff may not be copyrighted, but it is something I made. You know what the hell you're doing if you steal this you little idiot.
Ashley (9-14-01)
Across the sea of happiness
I see my weakness
Unkept and unkind
Maybe I should just jump ship
Maybe I'm just blind
I lay alone in my bed
The stars are out tonight
I look to my right
But I see loneliness instead
Chorus:
Since that night
Since I first saw you
You and your long blonde hair
My world turned upside down
And I just didn't care
My world runs on time and perfection
But when I think of you
I think I could make one exception
One exception to fit the conception
Of just me and you
Botched Thoughts (September 18th 2001)
When we were young we were so wrong
But inside we were so so so strong
Didn't care what people thought
Girls, dragons, and ghost were what we fought
Time grows old and stale
Interesting thoughts arise as we grew old and wise
Put the mask on disguise, it'll be a surprise
Ah screw it, pour me some more Ginger Ale
Ah yes, you're sixteen now, you're a star with your shiny new car
Drive it around, proclaim your crown, laugh it all down, down, down
Be happy now, don't let the stress light the fuse and abuse
I mean..if you don't feel alive what's the use?!?!?! What's the use!?!?!
Believe in yourself, your life, forget the pain and strife
Remember where your friends lie and play
Believe in a higher power, earth-shattering like your newly-wed wife
And if you forget what I just said, just say
Chorus: My only thoughts are botched with happiness's handle
I know where my life is, under the star
Wish my thoughts were like birthday cake candles
Blow them out and have them go oh so far
Someday We'll See (November 24th 2001)
I used to believe in a lot of things
I used to wonder what life would bring
Can this be happening or is it all a dream
It has to be, often I don't know what it means
You all shoved it in my face, I knew what to do
But you wouldn't let me breath, wouldn't you
just leave me alone with all your hate
I didn't want it anyways
So look at me now
You can't even see my face
and you wonder how
Ironic isn't it? it's your biggest disgrace
So now I wonder, it was so clear
I was so blind but now I see
I wanted you to see it with me
But you threw it all away
Christmas won't be coming this year
Santa's been had, and I've been caught red-handed
Instead all I've got is tommorrow
So please just leave me alone, I can't stand it
Questionable
Aren't you glad that you saw me today
Turned around but you just walked away
I was toast but I've had much worse
But I guess it's all part of this curse
I'm not good with people
I'm not good with friends
They were there til the end
Endings are such sweet sorrow but most of the time they're all just pretend
It's only 12:45 and I'm still too young
I've got to learn and a lot more coming
I couldn't see the light, I couldn't tell what
Figures the lights were off and the door was shut
Weakness is the key, strength is power
But in your mind now was the hour
For me to sorrow
and look towards tommorrow
Out of My Mindset (2-17-01)
The teacher's giving me an F and more
The girl I like just told me she's gonna score
The ground opened up and shook today, wait,
Maybe it was last week, last month, or last Friday
All the jocks wanna kick my ass
They make me run to my car after class
All I've got are my friends
But it's late, and all good things came to end
So where do I go from here
It's hard to see, and harder to be
I wish it weren't so fucking hard
I wish the girls I like didn't draw a crowd
To me, life just sucks, but
I guess I'm just sucker anyways
So just leave me standing in the middle
While passing the time little over little
Maybe you should look beyond my face
Shit dude, forget it, you're already taking up my space
