Men Just Can't Win

• If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

• If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

• If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

• If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism,

• If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

• If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

• If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

• If you cry, you're a wimp.

• If you don't, you're an insensitive jerk.

• If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

• If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

• If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

• If you don't, you're a slob.

• If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

• If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

• If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.

• If you don't, you're not ambitious.

• If she has a headache, she's tired.

• If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

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