3 July 2004

Treaty Terms for a Sovereign Quebec

Maybe I’m a little bit nuts, but I think there is something significant to be observed from the following observation from the recent Federal Election: Despite the fact that the Bloc Quebecois went out of their way to avoid the whole issue of Quebec Sovereignty, when the leader of the Bloc Quebecois was giving his victory speech he went out of his way to promise his constituents that he would continue to fight for an independent Quebec.

Maybe I’m a little spooked because we’ve already had one referendum on the subject, and to me that just demonstrates that these French Separatists are serious in their intention to split away from Canada. The reasons behind the failure of the original referendum were not so much due to the superior political maneuverings of the Federal Government as much as it was due to the shoddy wording of the referendum question. To me that seems a more logical and reasonable explanation than the notion that Cretin played the game better than the Bloc leaders of the time.

Personally, I think that separation is a bad idea. Canada is stronger as a united country, and the Francophone citizenry play a pretty big part in that, as do the Anglophone citizenry. The French community in Quebec wants to separate from Canada because they wish to demonstrate that they are a distinct and separate society. For some strange reason the French community seems to crave this status, but they seem less than willing to hold with the notion that if the French deserve the status of distinct society, then so do the Scots, the Irish, the English, the Spanish, the Germans, and a hundred other nationalities that have chosen to make Canada their home. These people have all contributed to this country in much the same way that the French have, so therefore do they not also logically have a right to the same status as the Francophone community in Quebec?

Sure they do, but they’re not French so the Francophone community doesn’t seem to care.

The point of all this, though, is that I believe there is going to be another referendum coming. Whether the separatist movement wins this time remains to be seen, but I have decided to operate under the conclusion that it will. To that end, I have, with the assistance of some of the denizens of the newsgroup alt.callahans and some of my own subscribers, come up with a list of non-negotiable treaty terms for the separation of Quebec from Canada.

First of all, by separating from Canada you are abrogating your right to Canadian citizenship. This action carries certain unavoidable consequences with it. All citizens of Quebec will no longer be permitted to carry Canadian passports. Quebec will no longer be entitled to use the Canadian Dollar as their official currency. Quebec will no longer be entitled to the protection of the Canadian Armed Forces, nor will it be entitled to representation in the House of Commons. However, we look forward to receiving your Ambassador.
Upon secession, Quebec will immediately assume its share of the National Debt. We feel that Quebec is responsible for helping us rack up a good amount of that debt, therefore it is only fair that Quebec pay it back.

We as Canadians are respecting the right of the people of Quebec to withdraw from Confederation and renounce their Canadian citizenship. Consequently we expect the government of Quebec to respect the rights of any citizens and municipalities that wish to remain part of Canada. We know that you are incapable of understanding why anyone would want to do such a thing, but we expect it anyway.

All Native Land Claims within the borders of the Province of Quebec must be settled prior to secession. As part of those agreements the Native people must be given the freedom to develop any and all natural resources that are present on the tracts of land in their possession.

Quebec must guarantee a physical land connection between the Maritimes and the rest of Canada. However, we anticipate that the withdrawal of certain municipalities from an independent Quebec will go great lengths towards insuring the presence of this land bridge.

The James Bay Hydro plants will remain in Canadian possession. However, Quebec is more than welcome to purchase from the Canadian government the power produced by these facilities and we look forward to negotiating those details.

The St. Lawrence will continue to be Canadian territory. Merchant traffic bound for Quebec ports are welcome to make use of this waterway, but will be subject to Coast Guard and Customs inspections as they pass through.

Oh, and while we’re on the topic of which pieces of land belong to Canada and which pieces of land belong to Quebec, the Government of Canada must insist that the borders if the independent Quebec correspond precisely with the borders of the Province of Quebec as defined in the acts of Confederation.

If these conditions are problematic for you, then tough. You should have thought of that before you started your little separatist uprising.

The government and the people of Canada have never doubted for an instant the distinctness of Francophone culture and society within the framework of Canada. All we have ever asked is that all cultures be treated equally, in the spirit of fairness under which this country was founded. We would also point out that the French people already have a country of their own. It is called France, and perhaps you should consider moving there.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is another reason why a man like me will never be the Prime Minister of this counrty.